1 More Day--- Rebuilding Myself from the Inside out :) - Scottsdale, AZ

1 more day until my tuck!! Last year was when I had my first introduction to 'diastasis'... When I realized what that meant I just instantly knew I needed to have it fixed! I have multiple issues with my spine and have been suffering with back pain since the end of my 1st pregnancy nearly 12 years ago. All that time I never knew about diastasis. From all I've read over the last year I see that doctors don't want to say that the TT will help with any back pain--and my back doctor doesn't want to talk about my abs. It's when I read all the personal stories from women who've already had it done- stories just like mine- I just know there's no way that this won't at least help ease some of the pain I experience. I have realistic expectations. I know it won't heal me... I KNOW it WILL benefit me to have my muscles on my side for the remainder of my life going forward. How exciting is that!? :D
I wear a back brace often to support my low back when I'm hurting. I like it on- I feel supported, held in and up and strong. It's when it comes off that I feel this sensation of spilling forward, like an avalanche. I always just thought that was my fault for being chubby. That what I was feeling was only my extra fat and skin, never realizing it was more than that. It's not normal. Wow. When I realized that, I iust knew I had to be brave and have this done. I need my body to do its job!! I had to help myself.
With the guidance of my husbands aunt, she directed me to Dr. Lawrence Shaw-- I had consulted with another highly regarded surgeon before meeting him. When I met Dr. Shaw and his staff, I just knew he would be the one to help me. He is amazing. I made it very clear my reasons for being in his office was for repair. Don't get me wrong, the idea of not having the belly is almost unbelievable and I'm really looking forward to that. That's the bonus!!
So. Tuesday, March 3, my amazing, supportive and sweet husband will accompany me to the surgical center where I will be fighting the anxiety monster and put my life into Dr. Shaws hands. I am terrified. Excited. Anxious. Thankful. Hopeful. I feel crazy blessed to be able to have this procedure done and I truly believe it will improve my quality of life.

I am a cake designer, love to refinish furniture, momma of 2 amazing girls.
Hiking is my favorite outdoor activity and I cannot wait to see about getting back into hot yoga. Damn I miss that.
I am short and curvy. 5' 3" and currently 165 pounds. Hoping that after this surgery I will feel strong...maybe I will remember my old self- before pregnancies when I took my body for granted.
I'm excited. If I can gather the courage by tomorrow I will post before pics. I think it's an important part of the process but it's so hard being that vulnerable. For a camera. Exposing what you try to disguise daily. Exposing the one place on my body that makes me cringe when my husband sees it. When his hand rests on that area of jello goo. Blech. At the same time I know it might help someone else just as others pics and stories have surely helped me through this process. And I believe it will help me too- I just need to dig deep and do it. For me.

Well. This is painful to post. Like I want to hide under a rock. Doing it for myself so I can see my progress and for anyone who may benefit from my experience. Here goes nothing.
5'3"-- 165 pounds preop

I've been pretty calm all day- even through this evening- it's 10:40 pm here and I will be getting up and showered at 4 for a 5:30 am check in time. Cuddling with the hubs on the couch and I can feel my insides cramping and jumping around--- anxiety.
I feel like I've been sleepwalking through this day not really believing that my surgery is hours away. I guess my brain knows better lol. I have this internal dialogue that's saying everything is normal, nothing new happening, status quo... Can't fool myself anymore I guess! Just packed my bag. Hello, reality.