30s Mom Second Round of BFT

Well, it’s not over yet. Probably my most noticeable defect from my BFTs is a divot on my outer thigh from lipo. There’s been two failed attempts to fix it with minor fat transfers. I’ve decided not to give up on this one problem because it’s something that bothers me everyday. The divot is even apparent in my workout pants and leggings. My doctor said we could try Sculptra as a semi-permanent filler. Hopefully I’m making the right decision to try Sculptra, however, I’ve been doubting my cosmetic decision-making lately, since it seems I may be too willing to try procedures that may not even work and leave me with unexpected side effects. Maybe I’m too desperate for beauty and improvements...
So again, I really hope Sculptra works without negative effects like little lumps. We’ll see. It will only be 1 vial, which Dr. Engel is giving me at cost. I appreciated that he was empathetic when he explained that my problem “sucks” but it’s not my fault or his fault. [RS bleep] happens, I guess? So he said he’s not going to make money on my Sculptra. I’m not sure if I should blame him for the side effect; it does suck that it happened. Worst case, I’m stuck with an unsightly divot for life that makes me regretful. Best case, I have to pay a few hundred dollars and get injections every couple years. So the “best case” is not great, but I would be stoked if it worked out because at least I wouldn’t have that deformity from lipo.
Another negative from lipo is that my stomach is not smooth. Some areas look uneven. It’s not awful and hopefully not noticeable to other people, but it will continue to bother me I’m sure. I doubt lipo was a good choice for me given the side effects. I was really upset in my last post, but I’m trying to be more positive. I can see little problems easily that others shouldn’t notice. Don’t sweat the small stuff, they say. I pray that it all works out.

I’m really sad; I just found a new liposuction problem on my stomach: another dent. I’m afraid my stomach may be messed up for life... I’m freaking out a bit. I’m upset with myself. Why do I keep thinking that my plastic surgeries are going to go so well? Because they don’t! Why do I keep thinking these surgeries are going to solve my problems? They don’t. And even worse, they keep creating new problems and more stress! I haven’t been truly happy after any surgery. I’m very regretful right now.
In the past, I saw lipo deformities around 6 weeks after surgery, and I’m seeing that again. I feel so stupid to have agreed to lipo again, knowing that lipo has led to dents before. A big reason I’m so upset right now is because my stomach (besides csection scar) has always been a favorite part of my body, and now it looks worse than before surgery. I’m basically in shock that this minor surgery may have worsened my stomach. And now it looks like I cannot even risk another fat transfer trying to fix any of my deformities. Because it can lead to more!
I pray that this stomach dent is not as bad as I’m thinking it is right now. Please let this post be an overreaction! My hope is that I’m still in recovery and maybe it will heal better. Lipo can take 6 months to heal. I do remember being so worried before that my arm was going to end up super dented after lipo, but then after time, it healed a bit smoother (although not as smooth as I wanted).
I’m going to try to remain calm and patient to see how everything heals. But it sucks so much that my stomach looked awesome only a few weeks ago (with swelling) but not anymore. I’m so disappointed. Sadly, I’m getting used to these kinds of disappointments.
I don’t like being so negative, so a positive note is I like my armpit lipo so far. We’ll see how everything heals...

Breast fat transfer (BFT) is a great procedure for the right candidate. Unfortunately, I think I may not have been a good candidate. After 1.5 years and 3 surgeries, the pros don’t seem to outweigh the cons. I have a love/hate relationship with plastic surgery. Some days I think plastic surgery was worth it, but lately and the more I think about it, it probably wasn’t worth it for me.
I think for major plastic surgery to be worth it, you really have to be unhappy with your body and looking for significant results. My “problem” was that my body wasn’t that bad before plastic surgery, and my results were modest and subtle. I was never really “wowed” or impressed after surgery. A big part of that was that I ended up with side effects like lipo irregularities, anxiety, bothersome scars all over my body, and then guilt and embarrassment from having multiple plastic surgeries.
It’s an emotional rollercoaster leading up to each surgery and then also when waiting for final results. Furthermore, it is devastating to end up with unsatifactory results and side effects. I’ve had letdowns after all 3 surgeries. There have been good improvements from my surgeries, but all the improvements came at a price. And I wasn’t expecting to pay it.
If I had a do-over, I probably shouldn’t have had any major plastic surgery. I was being lazy and took a short-cut with liposuction. I should have gone on a diet, since I was only 10-15 pounds overweight. I had lost that weight before and could have done it again, but I was tempted by a quick-fix. For better or for worse, I had the extra money for what seemed like an amazing short-cut. But there are always consequences for taking the easy way out!
From my first BFT, I have wavy inner thighs and a thigh divot that REALLY bother me from lipo. I’ve had two minor fat transfers attempting to correct my thigh divot… but fail. Didn’t work and makes me sad. I worry about these minor deformities and dealing with them for life. I also have so many lipo scars on my body (just trying to get enough fat… but there was never enough) that it’s ridiculous. Overkill.
Overall, I still like being thinner and going from an A to B cup, but I never cared enough about my boobs in the first place. I probably shouldn’t have sacrificed my body for my boobs. I should have lost weight the good ole fashioned way and maybe have considered implants when I was older or was truly unhappy about my breasts. In the end, I don’t like all the cons of BFT for me:
-breasts healed not symmetrical
-noticeable thigh divot even after trying to fix twice
-noticeable, dented elbow scar and then lots of other lipo scars (some hidden, some dented)
-expensive (over $12,000) possible mistake
-liposuction made my cellulite worse on thighs and also caused some skin laxity
-liposuction makes certain parts of my body have weird, unnatural contours
-3 surgeries and recoveries were painful, stressful, and time-consuming
It is hard to admit that I may have made a mistake signing up for BFT. I thought I did enough research, but I didn’t realize the lipo risks. I should have taken more time before making a decision. I still like my plastic surgeon for reasons I’ve listed previously, and he really tries to make me happy, but I think Dr. Engel should have better explained the lipo risks to me. In addition, I’ve written before that he overestimated my available fat, so then my original goal to go up 1 cup size in 1 surgery wasn’t even possible to begin with. He led me to have unrealistic expectations at times. I truly desired to be “one and done” and did not mean to sign up for multiple surgeries.
While I feel today that major plastic surgery was a bad decision for me, it’s not the end of the world. With or without surgery, I like my body (I fortunately have high self-esteem). I will forgive myself and learn from this. I should be more patient (not easy for me) and not rush through major decisions. I should remember and realize the consequences of shortcuts and a “quick-fix.” I should appreciate the good instead of risking too much trying to be perfect.
Looking at so many BFT reviews on realself, it seems common for women to not be satisfied after one BFT and desire another surgery. Maybe these women weren’t good candidates either, since they lacked enough body fat to make a satisfactory breast increase. On the other hand, I have seen some amazing BFT results online, but the women has to have enough fat. Who I would recommend BFT for: a women who is totally against implants, who is OK with modest breast increase, wants natural results, desperately wants increased breast size without implants, has plenty of extra fat, not prone to cellulite, not bothered by lipo scars, scars heal well, desires and is a good candidate for liposuction.
I’m one month post my third surgery with Dr. Engel. It was a minor fat transfer to dents. He kindly performed the surgery for free. Unfortunately, not enough fat stayed (again) so it looks like I’ll be letdown. The hardest part is learning to let it go. I don’t like to give up and just live with the dents, even if they are minor. But at some point, I have to stop plastic surgery. It may solve some problems, but it causes others. A part of me wants to try again to fix these dents, but I should stop. I need a break from plastic surgery. Please pray for me to move on… peace.