My Nose Is Just As Weird If Not Weirder - San Francisco, CA

Okay so I am almost at 2 months now and I think I look the same as I did before, except with a smaller, flatter and more undefined bridge (which I am not exactly happy about).

No one noticed anything that different about me, so go figure.

My doctor is starting to come up with excuses and each week I see him, he says something completely different! Very depressing.

I have been pushing the dorsal cartilage as instructed and it is just a little better at this point. The doctor is still confident that it will move to the center...but its over 3 weeks now.I have pushed it so much that it is sore on the right side. Sometimes when I push it..it looks straight. But then the skin sort of "shrink wraps" around it. I think the cartilage is beginning to settle on the bone.

I know for a fact that it is still crooked although not as crooked. I am still waiting to see definition. I am most concerned about the bridge at this point as I know the tip can take ages to heal.

Sorry I don't have any pics of my nose before any rhinoplasty was done on me.
It has only been 12 days, but for some reason, I know my nose isn't going to change for the better although the doctor says otherwise. (Don't they all?) I think "swelling" is too much of an excuse. I can't give myself too much hope anymore, it only leads to more disappointment.
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ABOUT ME
I am a woman of part Asian descent born with a very wide Asian nose that lacked some bridge definition. I am in my early 20s and was born with very oily skin at the nose.
SOME MORE INFO
Throughout my whole life,
my nose was the only feature that honestly really bothered me. I have been called beautiful and pretty...but I know in their heads they are thinking "well...except the nose". That is what I think as well about my face.
FIRST RHINOPLASTY
So I got my first rhinoplasty 2 years and 2 months ago. It was a closed rhinoplasty and he just stuck a silicone, L-shaped implant inside. He says narrowing the base nor the nasal is not necessary as the silicone already pushes the nose up like a tent, giving it a more narrow look.
The only thing I liked after the first surgery was the definition at the bridge. And then the silicone shifted over to the right so it made my nose look really flat on that side at 3/4 profile view, while the other side looked really dull and masculine.
I also believe I started feeling the tip kind of "poking out" but not really poking out starting at 2 months after I had the surgery. It stayed like that for 2 years and did not extrude.
THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY
So I have been REALLY desperate to get it revised for a while now. I went to see a rhinoplasty specialist and viewed all his before and after photos...they are absolutely amazing- all of it. I thought mine would be amazing too. :(
He suggested at the first consultation that we should use all cartilage from my ear and scalp. But then right before the surgery, he said "maybe we can keep the silicone implant, but just shave it down a bit and then I'll use some cartilage for the tip." I was reluctant so he proceeded with the original plan.
The thing I remember clearest while in surgery was that I asked "Is it over yet?" a few times. The surgeon said "Do you want a nice nose or not?" I said "yes' and he said "Then let us work." If the results are great, then I wouldn't mind his attitude during surgery. After the surgery, everyone said it went very well. I was glad of that.
So I was put in the nasal splint. I noticed the splint was crooked but didn't say anything because I thought maybe its just swelling or just a deformity in the splint, but not on my nose.
Surprisingly, I had no bruising at all what-so-ever this second time around. I did bruised at the first rhinoplasty. So I thought that no bruising was a sign that it really did go perfectly and I would get the nose I want.
MY SECOND RHINOPLASTY- THE REVEAL
When the splint came off on the 8th day, I thought my nose only looked fairly good. I don't know how to describe it. I was just hoping it would get better. I asked about the unevenness and the surgeon said it will get better over time. I don't know if I should trust him with that. He said that after 1 month, I should be able to see very much of the final results. That frightens me, I am almost at 2 weeks and just have 4 more weeks to go for the 1 month mark.
THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY- DEPRESSION
I noticed that the cartilage at the bridge and top was curved in a hideous way. One of the reasons for revision in the first place was because the silicone implant shifted to the right. Now the cartilage is at the right again, but the tip is curved to the left. Before, the whole thing was shifted to the right. The cartilage at the bridge is soft like rubber while the tip is very hard.
I contacted the plastic surgeon and he said for me to come to the office and he'll check it out. So I did and was ready to prepare for reoperation to reposition it. But instead he told me just to massage it to the direction I want to go until the cartilage settles itself and adheres to my nose. He told me to come back 4 days later so he can see the progress.
I am doing the massage right now and it seems to be helping just a tiny bit. I fear that 1) my nasal bones are originally not symmetrical, 2) Because the silicone implant shifted to the right before, it is adapting to the pattern again 3) It was an error during the operation. But my surgeon seems confident that the massage would work perfectly.
At 12 days, I feel very very ugly. I used to get really confused when people tell me that
I'm so beautiful all the time even after the 1st rhinoplasty which wasn't even good except for the bridge definition at the top. But I doubt they will say that I'm beautiful anymore.
THE SECOND RHINOPLASTY- ALL THE WRONGS
At the front view, my nose is curved and my nasal bones form an odd pyramid shape at the base of my nose which makes it look like an onion. My nose is very round with a fat, wide, huge tip. Profile views also reflect this. I describe my thoughts about my nose more in detail in the photos.
HOW I FEEL
I want to revise immediately and get the pointy tip I want and get back the great bridge definition I had. I don't want to waste any more time and money on this and I am very depressed now. My nose is STILL the only thing that bothers me after spending so much money.
I don't know what I should do at this point. I thought about all the great things I'd be able to do afterwards and how truly beautiful I would look. I gave way too much hope to myself. I have no more hope left.
I will keep this updated, but I doubt it will get any better and I am afraid that swelling is just an excuse to buy time now. :(