31 Years Old, 2 Children, Liposuction on Abdomen and Flanks

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Hello, I've never posted anything on this site...

Hello, I've never posted anything on this site before, but here I am! My surgery is scheduled for May 11th. it is fast approaching and each day I am getting more nervous. I have hired a personal trainer that I have been working with for 2 weeks now, and I'm feeling stronger every day. I'm getting liposuction on my abdomen and flanks. After 2 children, overcoming bouts of depression and anxiety, I have zero confidence and have become ashamed of my body. I no longer want to feel this way, and want to do something to change it. Ive done so much research to learn about what I'm getting myself into, but I think I'm just at the point of scaring myself with thoughts of how morbid it is and how be actually paid someone to do this to me! 23 days until surgery, hopefully my spirits will lift and I'll be excited to get rid of these ridiculous hips.

Pre op appointment today & more pics from consultation(Dec 2016)

Alright, so I took today off work to attend to some pre surgery errands. I went to my Pre Op appointment this morning; I filled out more forms, paid my balance, went to a lab and did blood work and a urine sample, got measured for my compression garmet, and I asked the dr the following questions that I forgot to ask at my consultation, (his response included)

How long until I can work out? - 2 weeks watch what i am doing, no aggressive aerobics for about 3-4 weeks.
How long will I be leaking? How many puncture holes?- Leaking not likely as I will have stitches, 6-8 holes.
How long to wear compression garment-6 weeks minimum.
Do you have a technique that would help me not end up lumpy/bumpy? -won't happen, as uses 3 different cannulas.
Am I going to have drains?-no
Massages? - 2 included
Daily vitamins - okay to take throughout surgery; no aspirin two weeks before and after surgery.
I asked him any tips for recovery, and he said The one thing he really was pushing for was to stay hydrated. He brought up a condition that can happen to your tissues if I get dehydrated that is fatal( I can't remember the name) so yeah, I guess I'll be buying a couple cases of water, and a brita, because i can't stand tap water :/
I still feel panicked about the surgery and when I talk to my husband and my mother, they aren't very supportive. I was discussing my nervousness with my husband and he said "geez babe, it's not heart surgery or anything, they do this all the time!" And my mother: "I'm nervous about this because it is completely unnecessary" so yeah, maybe I am just being dramatic, and need to relax about the whole thing. On the flip side of it all, I am very excited to have a new shape in my midsection. My hips measure at 41" !!! That's freaking insanely huge!
The Dr. did say, not to expect to lose any weight, and that I might gain some in the beginning, expect my hands, feet, and face to swell. But I should lose about 2 inches off and to drop about two pants sizes, so that is exciting.
Funny thing happened yesterday when I was working out with my trainer, I asked him if he could customize some workouts, since I will be in a compression garmet and that jerk responded with "I can, but I won't. Just cancel your surgery and keep working out, liposuction is not healthy or natural" so yeah, he told me "no." I'm kind of mad, it feels discriminatory to me, like, I wouldn't upset if he responded with, like, he didn't feel comfortable doing it, or its not safe, or something like that. But just because he doesn't want me to do it, and now won't train me, really upsets me. Stupid. But whatever, I'll hire someone new after I heal up. Anyway, this was long but hopefully helps!! 14 Days left...I downloaded a countdown App on my phone. :)

Walmart run

I just want to prepare and buy supplies for this surgery lol! I went to Walmart and purchased a huge (and kinda spendy) Brita water filter, (which we put together last night, and it is making our water taste better than bottled; so i highly recommend!) I also bought 5 new night gowns, something to lounge around in that isn't too constricting; they are light and silky, and they were cheap, so I won't mind if I leak or anything on them. I bought some "ensure high protein meal drinks" that I hope will help for meal replacement; on pain pills I either eat everything ,or feel nauseated and eat nothing at all, and just sit there all high. so Maybe these will help for a quick meal...I've been thinking of meal prepping,pre cut veggies and grilling up chicken breasts and freezing them, soup, or something that l can eat that will help with not just ordering take out. I really want this surgery to be a good thing. I hope i can gain some confidence and self esteem. It scares me when I'm on this site and I read reviews where they don't notice a difference after surgery. :/ I feel so bad for those people, how terrible and disappointed they must feel. It's so damn expensive and painful, so not having amazing results would be the worst. 13 days left and im thinking of writing a to-do list of things I would like to do before the big day: cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prep, blah blah blah.

2 Days to go

Well, 2 days to go. I'm feeling so fat. I keep trying to think positive thoughts; like "this will be good" "this will be a springboard to eating/living healthier" "maybe I'll look like I did before I got pregnant" etc. I keep thinking this is going to be the ticket to my happiness, and I'm so afraid of being disappointed. I know it will all be okay, and hopefully in a few short months I'll be enjoying the summer in a tank top (and not worried at all about sucking in my gut!) I have a few last minute to-do's before Thursday, so hopefully I will be "fully prepared." I have a feeling these 2 days are going to go by slowly, but I need to be patient, positive, and brave.

9 hours until surgery

So, freaking out a little! I've been drinking water like a fish, because at I was instructed to stop by midnight. We have to be at the hospital by 6am and surgery will be about 7am. We're going to have to leave our home at 5am to get to the hospital on time. I'm so nervous it's making me sick to my stomach. I'm going to shower tonight, get all shaved up, and hopefully sleep well. I'm ready to just get the surgery done. I'm not nervous about the pain, I'm just nervous about being under anesthesia so long :( i also feel an extreme amount of pressure as well; everyone knows I'm getting this done,everyone at work and personally. I keep thinking, well hopefully it looks good, or I'm going to look like a fool. My kiddos know that I'm having "surgery" and they started to cry; it made me so sad thinking that they are worried and don't understand; but I didn't want to say "well because mommy has low self esteem and the pressures of society I base my worth of my looks, I'm risking my life for smaller hips. So stupid! I have got to stop thinking this way about this surgery, I'm so scared :/

Well I will never be doing that again!

Surgery was okay, but the anesthesia made me so sick I was at the hospital for 12 hours; puking with 8 incisions is never a fun experience :/ it has been 6 days since surgery and as swollen as I am, I can see a difference.

My $6000 fat!

Salt Lake City Plastic Surgeon

Dr Kjar is great, he performed my breast augmentation 4 years ago and did a great job.

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