45 y/o breast lift, 525cc augmentation, tummy tuck, post WLS (100+ lbs)

I never thought I'd be one to consider cosmetic surgery, especially breast augmentation. After a lifetime of ups and downs of pounds gained and lost, I had lost 100# in 2002.
Then I got pregnant in 2003, gained 80# back with that pregnancy and another 30# afterwards.
Took it all off again by 2006, got pregnant again in 2007. Gained 60# with that pregnancy, and another 70# afterwards.
By the time my weight got to just shy of 300#, I was DONE with the yo-yo. I knew I could take the weight off --- but I couldn't KEEP it off. So, I took that final step and went through weight loss surgery to hopefully finally get my appetite beast under control. I lost about 2/3 of my excess before lap-band surgery in 2010, and more afterwards. In the last year or so, another 20# has snuck away from me.
All of this has left my body feeling like it lives in two worlds. One where I am strong and fit and look good. IN CLOTHES. One where the clothes come off and I am a wrinkled, saggy, unsexy mess.
I was a fat kid, a fat teen, fat in my 20s and 30s, and I'd generally come to accept it and even kind of embrace it, though it was taking its toll on my joints by the time I had WLS. I had never actually thought I would see the numbers on the scale that I've seen for the past 8 years and counting. To have that happen and feel LESS attractive than I did when I was fat has been completely surreal.
Which brings me here. My beloved partner, who has always made me feel like the most desirable woman alive, hesitantly brought up the idea of cosmetic surgery as an option, if it might help me feel better about myself, to feel more confident.
Initially, I dismissed it out of hand. Later, my mind came back to it again and again, and eventually I started discussing it, with him and with others to see what it was about, and what I thought and felt about it all.
Now, I'm 9 days out from surgery. I decided on a "mommy makeover", with a tummy tuck, breast lift, and breast augmentation. I made appointments with a few local surgeons/practices, and settled on the practice at Westlake Dermatology.
After my final consult on 10/30, the plan going forward is to ideally approach things as follows:
Breast lift : modified benelli/donut with probably a small vertical incision as well. I have stage 2 ptosis, but a significant amount of breast tissue, and will be getting fairly large implants. Dr. McGee feels like he can get good lift with this procedure. He says he will be removing some of my own tissue from the sides of my breasts to allow the implants to work with my tissue to create the best shape.
Breast augmentation: 525cc modified+ silicone, both sides. Despite what it looks like in my photos, measurements indicate my breasts are very close to the same size. This correlates with the fill I get in my bras as well. As I said above, there will be some tissue removed, so it's sort of an augmentation combined with partial reduction. Subfacial implants, as I have really tight/strong pectoral muscles and we are looking to have the implants not move a lot when I'm active.
Tummy tuck: This is basically skin removal only. A longer scar is more likely than I was hoping for, given the way my skin falls. Underlying musculature is strong and intact, so Dr. McGee does not think I will need any reinforcement of the underlying musculature. So -- panniculectomy, but not abdominoplasty, unless he discovers something different once I'm in surgery. I have too much skin for a "mini" tummy tuck, though. I am hoping that my lap-band port and tube are in good position and condition as well and won't cause any complications. They do cause a palpable lump, and I do hope it won't become a visible lump once the skin is gone.
Right now, I'm scouring this site for best ways to reduce scarring and speed healing. I am very fair-skinned so scars will totally stand out.
I am also not really interested in full-garment coverage all the time.
Like I said, I already look fine IN clothes -- I'd really like to look better OUT of them. *laugh*

Well, I guess I'm as ready as I am going to get. It still doesn't feel quite real. I've been alternatively excited and terrified, and I think the fear is due to a few different things.
One is, of course, the surgery itself. I went with the lap-band originally because I didn't want any part of my body removed. And now look, I'm about to get a big chunk of my abdomen sliced away. The concept of altering myself radically in this particular way leaves me with some mixed feelings for sure. Though I've definitely done my share of tattoos and piercings (hey, I was in my twenties in the 90s, what can I say?), so I guess it's not THAT different! heh
The other part is that I'm feeling really alone. I know that most of my friends and family would be really judgmental about this whole thing, so I've kept the fact that I'm doing this pretty much a secret from all but a few. Even then, I've not mentioned the breast augmentation to most of those people, just the tummy tuck, and in terms of skin removal or "hernia repair" (which is not actually the case as my abdominal muscles are fine). I really worry about the fallout later, socially and with close friends, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
The last part of the fear comes from the recovery part. I don't stay still well. I was out grocery shopping within 24-48 hours after each of my kids' births, not because I had to, but because I was antsy as heck and couldn't stand staying in bed. My partner has said he's going to Xanax the crap out of me if he has to in order to keep me chilled out for the week! Hah!
One last trip to the store this afternoon. I'm going to get some soft button-up flannel tops for lounging in for the next couple of weeks. That's the only thing I can think of getting that I don't already have on hand. EEEK!

... as my simple panneculectomy DID end up being a full Abdominoplasty. Once my surgeon got in there, it seems that even though my muscles are strong, I did have separation. So... I’m in for a full, long recovery. Ugh.
I’m in a lot of discomfort today, but managing with my partner’s help. The breasts just feel swollen and a little achy, but not too bad. They’re hard and high, as to be expected.
The abdomen hurts, a lot. Deep inside and sharply where the incision is. I didn’t know right away that my drain tube had literally been stitched TO my mons pubis, so I almost pulled it out/off, thinking the hair was caught and pulling on something. So that’s been burning sore all day.
I’m feeling a little off-put in general by the communication during this process. 1) The aforementioned drain tube thing 2) my surgeon apparently removed a good portion of fat from my mons as well. I don’t mind, exactly, I jut wish it had been discussed previously as part of the procedure. I liked my padding there, and I hope it’s not totally gone. 3) no one from the office contacted me at all today to check on me. That one is the one that gets me the most I think. I mean, my partner had the doc who stitched his cut thumb a week ago call him the day after — I get major surgery and no one calls to see how I’m doing??? Not impressed.
I’ll be calling tomorrow I guess if they don’t call me by noon.