Bad consultation

This is a review for the consultation I had with Dr. Murray. I have never had surgery with this doctor. A little background on me - I’ve had two previous rhinoplasties with different doctors, the most recent occurring a little over one year ago. My most recent rhinoplasty in particular did not turn out how I wanted or expected, and it has caused me immense emotional pain.I now have issues with breathing through my nose and cosmetically it’s not what I wanted; however, I have not considered myself to be cosmetically “botched.” Dr. Murray was at the top of my list for the doctors I was considering to perform my third rhinoplasty. I had spoken with many of his past patients (who are so wonderful!) as well as others who had consulted with him and are/were considering him.All said he was talented and gave great advice. Because I am so emotionally fragile after what I’ve been through regarding my previous rhinoplasties, it was important to me that I only consulted with doctors who would be empathetic, pro-patient, and of course, talented. My consultation started off okay. We made small talk for a moment and then he said I should ask him questions and essentially take the lead on the consult. He never commented on my nose at the beginning of the consult.I went into the background about my previous rhinoplasties and discussed what I was essentially looking to have done. He didn’t say much of anything for the first 5 or so minutes that I was speaking, so I asked him what his thoughts are on what I had discussed. This is where the consult went wrong. Dr. Murray didn’t respond to anything that I had said I was hoping to have done and instead immediately told me he is glad I mentioned my pinched tip because it looks really, really bad.He then proceeded to tell me numerous times and for the majority of the consult that I look bad, and that there is absolutely nothing good about my nose. I am unfortunately not even kidding, those were his exact words. He also said that I shouldn’t focus on my profile since my frontal view is so bad, and that that is what needs to be fixed above all else. He said all my shadows are in the wrong places, and I just look bad.Toward the end of the consult he told me that I’ve been talking to him this whole time and I haven’t even seen his profile, only his front, and that I should focus on my front because it’s so bad and that’s how people see me most. I never mentioned that I didn’t want to focus on my front or only focus on my profile, so I was unsure why he kept telling me this. He wasn’t positive about my potential surgery with him, and he said I will likely have imperfections because of my thin nasal skin.He never commented on what I was hoping to achieve, he completely ignored it and just kept telling me I look bad. Regardless, he agreed we should set up a VIP consult and do a morph to ensure we are on the same page if I book my surgery with him. Before the consult ended, he asked if I had any more questions, and I did, but I couldn’t emotionally handle the consult to continue any further.I had already started tearing up, and luckily the consult ended before I completely broke down in tears. I was in shock and very confused why the consult had been spent with him telling me how bad I look instead of him listening to me and having him tell me specifically what he could fix. As I mentioned, this has been an extremely difficult year. I have spent the entire year battling my extreme insecurity about my nose, so the consult with Dr. Murray broke me down immensely.I felt it was very unnecessary and harmful for him to continuously repeat that I look bad. I want to make it clear that Dr. Murray does appear to be a talented doctor and as I mentioned, I have spoken with some of his wonderful patients (who are all primary rhino patients), and they truly think he is great. However, I am not sure he is the best doctor to see for a revision after the consult I had, particularly if you have thin nasal skin. I’ve had consults with others doctors, all of whom were very positive and said my case would not be difficult for them.Dr. Murray has been the only doctor so far to tell me that I was an extremely difficult revision case. He is also the only doctor I have consulted with who is only board certified as an otolaryngologist and not board certified in plastic surgery or reconstruction. This is entirely my opinion and not fact-based, but I don’t see him as a true revision specialist, and I think he is likely a better choice for a primary rhino patient.I really debated writing this at all because my husband and I own businesses, and I know how damaging a bad review can be (I truly never write bad reviews). However, after my consult, I need other revision patients to be wary and emotionally prepared to consult with him.Perhaps he was having an off day since I have never heard of this happening in another consult, but my opinion is that he may not be the best choice for a revision since he did not listen to me at all and caused a huge communication block when he kept repeating how bad I look. Revision patients in particular need a surgeon who truly listens/has open communication and is empathetic, because we need to be able to communicate what we want and not just go along with what the surgeon wants/thinks for us.Hopefully this doctor can treat future revision patients with kindness and an open ear.