37 Ready for my Second Chance. - Reno, NV

I've been overweight my whole life. My father was very heavy 400lbs. + he had rny 13 years ago. Saved his life. I considered weight loss surgery in the past but was afraid and unable to pay for it. Now here I am 350 lbs. I cannot do anything without back pain. I have no energy. Everyday tasks are daunting and now my hygiene is becoming compromised. Its not o.k. I am very unhappy and feel like I'm failing as a wife , mother and employee. I'm failing at life. I enjoy nothing anymore. Its a fat prison. Last fall I lost my dear aunt whom was a mother to me and a kindred spirit in my life. She died from complications of obesity and diabetes. She was offered surgery several years prior, but was afraid. Her weight stole her from me and all those that loved her. Its been a very difficult wake up call for me. So I finally took the plunge and made the choice to do something about it. Also my husband and i have been wanting another child. My obese body cannot conceive. I have pcos. Surgery will cure my infertility. It will literally be my second chance at life.
I have a few naysayers.. But they are not living in this painful body ..i am. One friend said dont do it. You will have saggy wrinkled skin and even if you have skin removal, they leave huge frankenstein scars.
I will admit, there was a time when my motivation for surgery was so i wouldnt feel ugly... Those days left like 50 lbs. Ago. It is not about my appearance anymore. I just want to be able to be mobile without pain. My back knees and ankles hurt always, my hormones are whack, i cant do a quarter of what i once could. Yes im aging but im relatively young and should be able to live an active productive fullfilling life. Some say "you could die".. Well this isnt living.

I had a consult with an experienced surgeon. I went to the nutritional education class, the support group had the metabolism test. The h pylori test, ultrasound. And upper gi x rays, gave them my blood and now im on my way. I have to weigh in in aug and sept. If i lose 22 lbs i will be scheduled for surgery. It still doesnt feel real.