Tattoo Regret

DUUUUUUDE! ME TOO, SIMILAR STORY! Girl! Worst comes to worst, u can have that thing Surgically Removed! Besides, what a lot of people don't realize, is that tattoos fade like crazy, and have to be redone every 7 - 10 years! And the Sun will fade your tattoo like no one's business!

Ok, so furthermore, I feel your anxiety thru the writing, Gurl! Ur gonna be ok! A tattoo doesn't change who u are! I've been reading a lot reviews and what it seems to be happening is that people are having "identity crisises," lmao, I'm sure I spelled that wrong, but your tat looks like it will fade nicely, not to dark, no heavy dark outline, I'm promise u, this tattoo will fade by half by the time ur 30! And if u go out and just enjoy yourself in good hot bright Sun, this tattoo doesn't stand a chance! BUT like I said before, Surgical Excision may be an option, just find a cosmetic surgeon, I'm sure u can find one of those in your town! Duuuuude, Ur a RN! CONGRATS btw! Haha, I finished school not to long ago, working, working out, making money, paying back student loans, loving life!

Hey first off take a deep breath. Your tattoo will be super simple to remove, you have mostly shading! Do your research, find an experienced laser clinic and begin treatment, it's your best option!

I feel your pain!!!! My story is similar. I'm a 33 year old female corporate lawyer (most conservative industry ever, so no chance of short sleeves!). I got a full arm sleeve done in January this year. I actually got something similar to your design (flowers with a similar size), except not half as nice as yours. Your design is really beautiful. It's what I wanted and I gave the artist plenty of detailed instructions but I failed to speak up when I realised he wasn't doing what I wanted). I regretted it as soon as I got the bottom half done....so what did I do? I decided maybe I'd feel better if I got the top half done too! So I held onto that hope and got the top half done a few weeks later. For the next several days, the image of myself in my head was someone with this disgusting gigantic ugly hideous completely unfeminine black mass on my arm. I kept looking in the mirror to remind myself that the image in my head wasn't true (I was even turning out the lights, going to bed, then getting up just a few minutes later to check the mirror, then turning off the lights, and repeating it all over again), but that only gave me minor comfort because the image I saw in the mirror wasn't that far off. I had no appetite, I couldn't concentrate on work, I had no energy to play with my 2 yr old son, I could barely muster the energy to just take care of him. During the day I held it together for him, but as soon as he went to bed I was googling about tattoo removal and tattoo regret, and crying constantly, in a ball on the floor sobbing to the point of hyperventilating. I just felt so incredibly stupid....like how could I be so utterly stupid to do this to myself!! The anxiety and sense of oncoming depression was so incredibly extreme. The sad thing is that I got it solely to cover selfharm scars - I'd been so excited about finally feeling beautiful in relation to my arms and instead it did the absolute opposite and left me with the crappy emotions I hadn't felt in years (the same emotions that made me cut my arms in the first place). And the worst thing is that, whilst googling about tattoo removal, I discovered that there are scar removal options...options I could've explored before sticking this giant tattoo on my arm. You say "my heart sinks when I look at my arm". Yes! I know exactly what you mean! Physically my heart sank...I would feel it in my eyes, my head, my body. I still feel it if I think about it too hard (or alternatively if I knew I couldn't remove it). That feeling is debilitating (or rather "was", given the feeling has largely subsided now). If it wasn't for the fact that I needed to keep getting up and tending to my son, I have no doubt that it would've triggered a huge anxiety/depression period for me. I wish I had known about the risk of tattoo regret beforehand. I have a couple of other small tattoos so I guess it just never crossed my mind that I could have that response. It doesn't help that I just rushed into it. I just woke up one day and felt the sudden urge to hide my scars as soon as possible, lest my son see them. And I was meant to have IVF and didn't want the doctor judging my mothering abilities based on scars from adolescence (ironically, by getting the tattoo, it dominated my life for a period of time such that I postponed the IVF operation anyway).

Anyways, so within the first couple of weeks I had already had several appointments with a few different tattoo removal clinics. They didn't exactly make me feel very optimistic about the possibility of completely removing the tattoo without a trace. In each appointment I just cried and cried when they asked me "so why do you want to get it removed?" and I tried to explain everything. And with each fee quote I felt so devastated at the prospect of spending $10k for this stupid thing that cost $1500 to get....$10k that could pay for several overseas holidays for my son and I when I haven't had a holiday in almost a decade.

But... (there is a but :)) since then everything has vastly improved for me to the point that I'm quite indifferent to the tattoo now (albeit I still feel uglier with it but it's not overtaking my life). I'm still fixated on getting it removed in due course and definitely don't want to grow old with it (if I had to, I think I'd be significantly less accepting!) but I'm ok enough with it to keep it for a few years until the tattoo removal technology improves a bit more (looking at the rate of change in tattoo removal technology over the last decade or two I'm confident that, if I give it even five years, the cost and results will be much better. If I give it ten years, the technology will be even more better).

These are the ways of thinking that have helped me so maybe they can help you too:

1. First and foremost, don't forget that you will remove your tattoo. It's not permanent. You don't have to grow old with it. It's just for the moment.
2. Be empowered by your tattoo. In terms of body image, in the current day and age we are so often told (whether that's by society, by magazines, by our employers, etc) how, as women, we should look. Treat your tattoo as a form of reclaiming your body and be proud of it and stick a metaphorical finger up at anyone who wants to judge you or look down on you or treat you as "less than" just because you have a picture on your skin.
3. Similarly, embrace the sense of uniqueness that comes from having that tattoo. You're still you. But now you just have a little bit of extra uniqueness on display.
4. Remember that your design is not offensive and it won't age. If you have to grow into an old tattooed lady, you can't get much less offensive and timeless as flowers.
5. As you walk through the street, look at other people with similarly inoffensive tattoos. Do you judge them? Do you think less of them? Do you think anything at all? Or do you just think "oh ok, cool" and move on with your day? I think nothing of them and equally other people will think nothing of your tattoo (at least nothing negative).
6. Again, as you walk through the street, look at all the other people that have tattoos, whether they're inoffensive, offensive or whatever. There are a lot! Nowadays tattoos are extremely common. You don't stick out (in a bad way) like you might think you do.
7. Think about all the things you're grateful for. Like be grateful for the fact that, in comparison to a much bigger tattoo, yours is quite small (similarly, although mine is big, I can be grateful I quit while I was ahead rather than proceeding to get two arm sleeves). And be grateful for the fact that you got it on the inside of your arm (I've got one on the inside of my other arm and it's a much better position than the outside). Be grateful you picked black and white (much easier to remove), and not colour. Be grateful that your tattoo is nice and very feminine.
8. It's just skin and you've only got one life. Don't waste it just because of something relatively minor like a bit of art on your skin.
9. Just in case you forgot the most important one, I'll say it again: it isn't permanent. You can remove it! On top of black and white being easiest to remove, you've also got good skin colour for total tattoo removal.

Don't hide from the world. Don't let it impact your life. In my 20s I hid from living my life simply because I was so preoccupied with my weight and fearful that people would think I was fat. Tattoo regret I think is a bit like that. You could let it impact your life or you could just accept it and keep on living, not letting it impact your life. Just stick it in the backseat of your mind and, if it pops up and starts to impact things, remind yourself you'll get it removed eventually and then get back to thinking about other things.

Anyways, that's my advice! Big hugs and best wishes xx

@clairer99 thank you for the very encouraging words. I will definitely start putting them into practice. I have tried telling myself "just wait the technology is evolving and maybe in a couple years you can fully be free of this nightmare " but the thought of going 5-10 years with this is weighing heavily. I've had this tattoo for almost a year and only now it is starting to affect me this much. I have a few consultations today and I'm sleeping more still little appetite which is very rare for me. I can envision myself getting up and doing all the things I've dreamt of doing but it's gotten really bad to where I'm just constantly thinking of the removal and how much I want it gone so I'm constantly looking up more information on the internet sometimes I have encouragement from others experiences and sometimes the devastating realization that it's not going to change any time soon. I'm trying to slowly accept it and I can see myself being successful I just need to get through this hurtle. Also I haven't talked to anyone about this other than to my husband and my mother in law they have been great support but no matter how much support I have it's still something I have to get through on my own. Thank you again for all of your kind words and encouragement. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and keep in touch as talking to others who feel the same gives a little relief from the heavy heart.

Hi I'm in exactly the same position - my tattoo is 6 weeks old but on my collarbone and shoulder I can't do anything I'm so depressed and have experienced the same feelings as you I feel so stupid and annoyed at myself I don't know what to do - I'm booked in for picosure laser but don't wanna end up worse although not sure I can live with this tattoo either have you decided what your going to do ?

I had a very long and relieving conversation with my mom and my brother and expressed to them all of my feelings. They are my strongest support including my husband and they said we will find the right answer with time and patience. Just like you I don't want it to be worse than it is so I want to take my time making a decision and if that means taking a couple of years to think about it and do the research then that's what I'll have to do. I'm putting my faith in god (wasn't very religious before) and I know that I will get past this with the help of my family.

There actually is. Its not just effectiveness it's side effects. I have had both lasers on me and nanosecond lasers generate more heat and can damage the skin. Photo acoustic vs photothermal.

Your tattoo is pretty light and doesn't look deep. Might as well start the journey now and be one step closer to being rid of it!

Don’t you dare try to cover it- this will only make it so much harder to remove dish the track. Cover ups like this are never ever successful!

I've heard it is an equivalent to picoway

Picoway starts in May. I will keep you updated on the progress, if you want I could possibly send you pics but it would be privately. Yeah I hear long waits are better. I won't wait a long time until I have ten passes or so. You shouldn't have to worry about the healing too much. For me, the blisters pop in two to four days. Then they she'd over the next week and a half. All in all I'm back to normal within two weeks usually. Everyone is different though. 30 year old male, healthy, in good shape, that may be why. For someone in a worse situation I'd assume it would take longer. Just make sure to keep it out of the sun after you start treatment.

Ha, I keep commenting on the wrong thread. Whoops!

It's the same laser from a different seller.
Enlighten is a great choice and your tattoo is super easy to remove. Good luck! :)