43 Year Old Mum on Tummy Tuck Journey - Birmingham, GB

I never thought I'd do this, let alone write about it but here I am 4 days post op in the middle of the night, back home and unable to think of much else...
I've only had one full term pregnancy, with a beautiful 5 year old daughter to show for it. I'm 5'2 and at 8lb 2oz she was on the large side for my frame. Although I didn't put on much extra weight my belly was enormous - friends would gasp slightly horrified when they saw me as I approached (then passed) the due date. Needless to say it left me looking like a deflated balloon with muscle separation & crepe-paper skin. As well as looking ugly & dictating my wardrobe and sex life, it's been causing postural
problems and back pain and it will all only get worse with age. I really don't want to be undergoing this surgery when I'm 65 and have herniated. I gather from friends that in France and Germany it's offered free by their health services.
I have recently wondered whether I always had a degree of weakness / separation which might account for why I got so large (and could never do core exercises without my ab region popping forward). I've done a bit of Googling & found the condition can exist from childhood but Mrs Kat & the physio were vague about this being a contributing factor.
I never thought surgery was a serious option for me until I caught the end of a makover programme & saw the results of TT surgery. I was impressed! But I got very put off when I began to reaearch the procedure; for some reason I found the use of drains especially disturbing. Then I stumbled across a reference to Mrs Kat, (probably on this site) & her 'lock and glue' technique which doesn't use them and got intrigued.
Then money was a huge issue but that was solved when out of the blue I got a freelance job that I could do alongside my regular job & I charge £7000 for. When the money finally reached my account I called and made an appointment with Mrs Kat at her clinic just before Xmas 2015.
We live in London and I'd never been to Birmingham. What a great city and only 1hr 25mins by train! She was everything others have reported - clear, concise, precise and extremely professional. There was absolutely no sales pitch. She examined me and confirmed the muscle separation (7cm I was told after the surgery), had photos taken & was informed about the procedure and recovery.
Having read others' reviews, I felt I didn't need to go on a mission to compare lots of surgeons - I guess it's always a bit of a shot in the dark anyway? I liked that she aims to get the scar very low and fine and avoids drains.
Early in January 2016 I plucked up the courage to call and book the surgery, hoping to get it done before warm weather arrives (didn't like the idea of sweating in synthetic compression garments!). Unfortunately she was away for March so the first date that worked for me was Friday 1st April (April Fools Day!) at The Priory, Edgebaston.
I went for my pre-op assessment there a few days before and first impressions weren't great: I was misdirected to the 2nd Floor from reception and had my assessment with an efficient but somewhat unfriendly nurse. (Thankfully my experience as an inpatient was totally different and pretty much faultless).
I went up for my op on the train and caught the bus to The Priory. I spent the night before at the Aparthotel on Digbeth (clean, affordable and walkable from New Street station) having booked it for four nights so that my partner & daughter could come and stay.
I was scheduled to arrive at 11am and was promptly escorted to my room. I was visited by various people throughout the day, a nurse with my gown, support stockings and paper pants; Mrs Kat who had an understudy with her to witness the process of marking-up; a physiotherapist with the breath incentiviser devise; the anaesthetist. I began to get concerned that, after a whole day in surgery, Mrs Kat would be too tired to do her best work but the anaesthetist was reassuring about this saying "no, she loves it! She regularly does 10hr days - 3 or 4 times a week - and often schedules more complex procedures last to allow them to run on".
The waiting became really tedious (especially as I was nil by mouth after 9:30am and was suffering a dehydration headache when the anaesthetist told me around 5pm that a few sips of water would be fine) but at least the nerves had worn off by 6:30pm when the nurses arrived to take me down to theatre.
The nurse who stayed with me was absolutely lovely and did a great job of keeping me chatting so that I barely noticed being put under.
I woke up in recovery and was wheeled to my room in bed. I think I was quite euphoric to have survived the op (I've never had one before). It wasn't until the next day that I began to realise that had been the easy part and that this was only the start of the journey. It's a bit like child birth: no matter how many other people's experiences you hear / read about, it doesn't really make sense until you do it yourself (although I have to say that I'm extremely grateful to everyone on this site for posting their reviews which have helped me to be realistic about what this process involves. I went into this much better informed than I would have been without it).
I was extremely well cared-for over the following days at the Priory. (I spent 3 nights there). A large number of different nurses / physiotherapists were involved but they were all friendly and well-informed about my medical needs.
You could get through the whole hospital part alone but it was nice that my partner and daughter could drop in (mostly they were out having a lovely city break in Birmingham!).
I tried to prepare before the op by eating really healthily: I quit caffeine, alcohol and sugar / refined carbs a month before and started getting up at 6am to fit in a bit of yoga and the pre-op exercises before work. I think two positive outcomes were worth this effort: I had no side effects from the anaesthetic and my breathing was not greatly impaired. I always ended the yoga with a couple of breathing exercises: anuloma viloma and kapalabhati, which aside from other benefits, expand the lungs and strengthen the diaphragm (especially the latter). They're really easy, so if you don't know them & are considering this surgery Google them: I'd highly recommend!!
My period was due on the day of the surgery and it started bang on cue. I used a tampon and apart from the added hassle of dealing with it post op, I was advised that it would make no difference to the surgery or outcomes.
I was allowed home yesterday (I think patients from further afield often get 3 nights so they're stronger to travel) at around noon. My partner drove the 2hr 45 min journey to London and it was fine: the dressings & compression garment offer so much support that you don't feel every bump and bend as I'd feared. The hardest part was keeping my D entertained and I did epic amounts of fantasy story-telling at her (insistent) request. The only other hitch with longer trips home is needing the loo. They were so desperate for me to have a movement before I left hospital (despite the fact that I'd spent one day starving and two days eating very little) that they started dosing me with lactolose and - on the last night - gave me two senna tablets. After that I had terrible wind and diarrhoea and spent the night 'rushing' to the loo to wrestle with the hooks and eyes on my compression garment. This continued the next day and meant we had to stop en route at a service station where the loos were miles from the entrance. You feel very vulnerable and foolish walking around in public bent over double.
Now I'm home I'm finding I still don't want to eat big meals so I'm trying to have little but often. I think the key is to eat super-healthy: make sure everything you eat is worth it nutritionally. I stole some of my daughter's chips at the service station and regretted it: they made me gassy. Half a banana mashed with some yoghurt and rolled oats made a great breakfast this morning and last night I enjoyed a little bowl of beetroot soup followed by a bowl of green leaves (straight from the bag). I've read it's important to eat enough protein to aid healing so there's lots tinned mackerel in the cupboard and fish in the freezer. Mrs Kat recommended eating lots of roughage to stay regular so I stocked up on 'Sprouted Wheat Loaf' from a health food shop (not as bad as it sounds! A bit like malt loaf if you have it toasted with butter & more nutritious / less yeasty & 'blocking up' than regular bread). I've also got some of those bags of pre-cooked lentils which don't take much effort to turn into a tasty, nutritious stew or salad.
We bought a couple of extra pillows for the car journey that are proving v useful for getting comfy at home. We live in a small flat so there's no space for a new recliner but I found we could turn our bed into a suitable place for me to sleep by propping one of the large sofa seat cushions against two pillows at the back of the bed and using two more pillows under my knees. It was just about as comfortable as the hospital bed in this position. A less useful pre-op investment was an expensive (£50) compression garment, maybe it will have its moment but you get given two at the Hopspital along with two sets of compression stockings so there's time to surf for a smaller garment well before you need it (at the mo I'm so swollen that it's difficult to imagine going down a size).
Now it's just about managing pain and boredom (as well as guilt and frustration!). Having had all manner of pain relief in hospital, I've been sent home with Paracetamol plus Tramadol and Diclofenac, neither of which the nurse seemed very keen for me to take. I may have got this the wrong way way round but I think Tramadol thins the blood (not great after an op) and Diclofenac blocks you up (ditto). She said after a couple of days I should only be using the paracetamol anyway so I decided to go straight to that stage. Maybe that was a bit premature (I did have a sleepless night) but I prefer not feeling woozy and nauseous and so far the pain feels manageable: a bit like the worst period pain and nowhere close to the excruciating contractions I had when I was in labour with my back-to-back baby. But then there's also the swelling (lots of it from thighs to boobs), bruising and discomfort of the compression garment to contend with. Walking bent over is almost instantly painful in the lower back and I can only imagine what the pain would be like if I tried to straighten up. At the moment this is one of my biggest concerns: how will I ever get there?! You're not supposed to try until after the first week but I don't want to heal locked into this position!
I've noticed lots of women start to have doubts about what they're decision during the first week or two but then as the pain eases and the results are more encouraging they turn a corner. Eventually it's often 'the best decision I ever made!'. At day 4 I'm a long way off that point but I hope my journey follows the same course. You can't get through this without good support at home for the first week and it's difficult to feel so dependent on family / friends. I'll owe everyone when I'm through!
You can't keep this op a secret: it takes such a chunk out of your life, as well as your belly, that you have to be prepared for everyone to know. A TT can sound frivolous and indulgent to some, so instead I've described it as 'surgery to have my muscles rejoined', which is more than half the truth. Months ago I made sure I had 2-3 weeks off work on sick leave okayed. I had to explain why to my boss and then to my colleagues. Slowly a wider circle of friends have got to know. Nobody has been critical; in fact lots of 'friends of friends' seem to have had it done without regret, which is encouraging. I've read it can take 6 months to a year to feel completely yourself again so I guess we're in it for the long haul!

6 days post op...
I've just woken up after my first reasonable night's sleep since the op. Not sure how I am physically yet, but hoping the sleep will have helped.
I think this recovery period is difficult for many reasons, not just the anticipated post op pain.

1. I'm finding walking bent over is agony for my lower back and am so keen to get upright. My Mum bought over a pair of crutches which help a little but you have to be really careful not to strain your stomach using them.
Maintaining an angle at your hips leaves very little choice about what position you spend your days and nights in (basically sitting or reclining) which gets tedious & uncomfortable.
I'm not sure how far to push things: when I straighten my back whilst sitting to try the pelvic tilts the physio recommended, there are points of resistance and I can't tell if this is the binder or tape from the dressings or things twinging internally.

2. The compression garment is SO tight!! I think it's causing 50% of the discomfort and certainly restricts my breathing. I'm quite short so it's slightly long in the torso for me and has a tendency to fold over at the top and form creases in the middle that become painful. Last night before bed I undid the very top - maybe that helped me sleep better? But it does seem to be doing its job in reducing swelling in the operated-on areas. Instead the swelling's all happening in my thighs which are huge and rainbow coloured (hope it's not causing new stretch marks...). Might try contacting Natasha today for a bit of reassurance as my dressings appointment isn't til Monday - 11 days post op.

3. General tiredness and anxiety / uncertainty about how I'm healing. Will the bruising all go? Is the binder too tight and causing a sharp crease down the middle of my skin? Will the swelling have worsened the already slack skin I had on my thighs? Will I get upright & regain flexibility?

4. Tiredness and frustration about being so dependent. Suddenly you have all this time but no energy to do much more than sit in front of the TV. I'm even finding talking gets quite tiring.

On the positive side, there is progress each day. Yesterday I felt brighter and more able to focus in the morning and I can already feel that my core works in a way that it never has - even pre op. Which again makes me wonder whether I always had a bit of muscle separation that was just exacerbated by pregnancy.
I'm only using paracetamol during the day which is bearable. The last couple of nights I've also taken 1
Diclofenac at bedtime in the hope it will knock me out for the night!

BTW I'm still having bowls of this lovely gingery beetroot soup that my partner made when I said I was craving it. I Googled beetroot and it turns out it has all sorts of health benefits including being high in iron and fibre & helping the liver expel toxins. Might be the perfect time for a beetroot binge!

So if last week was all about immobility & pain management, this week's theme is frustration & anxiety! I'm off all pain meds and about 75% upright so the back pain has eased but I'm still basically house-bound, with too much time to think & it's difficult not to obsess about progress.

I was back at The Priory to get my dressings changed yesterday & felt anxious about seeing my scar but was pleasantly surprised by how neat it is and Mrs Kat seemed pleased with my progress.

My lower abdomen is very swollen below my (new) belly button and I've read that this can take weeks (months even) to subside as the lymphatic drainage system is disrupted when the skin is lifted.

I have a pronounced vertical crease below my navel which I was assured would diminish with time (though of course I'm fretting about it now). I think the skin was folded underneath my dressings but I was also advised it may be the effect of internal dissolvable sutures used to fix the skin to the muscle beneath. I hadn't appreciated these were part of the process but it makes sense of some of the tight spots I can feel. I should have asked how long the stitches take to dissolve. I wonder whether a couple of minor 'creases' where the skin feels pulled from inside could also be caused by internal stitches? I was advised that everything should settle but again, difficult not to fret...

I was told to keep wearing the pressure garments for another week day & night and then during the day for a week following that, before replacing with control pants.

Another dressings appointment has been arranged for next Monday (a week later) but since I live 3 hours drive away, I don't have to attend unless I have any particular concerns. Instead I was given a DIY kit of iodine & micropore tape and told how to apply both.

Work emailed - I think they'd like me back asap so I'll lose another pillow tonight & hope I'm straighter by the morning!