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Hi! I have been reading this site for a few weeks...
Hi! I have been reading this site for a few weeks now and now have finally decided to share my story.
Back in the beginning of April me and 2 other friends decided to get some ink, i already have 3 really small tattoos i had done in 2014 and i love them. The tattoo artist is someone I've known for years, not necessarily a close friend but we get along. But this time around it all felt so quick and impulsive, I haven't been feeling well for a while, then I lost my job at the end of march and then I had this trip scheduled to London on April 13 and that was my main goal at the time. I had been thinking about getting new tattoos but I was never sure where, since the first ones i got were so small I had no issues with hiding them, although I was really afraid of my parents/family's reaction. This is the major problem for me mentally I think, I come from a tiny island where people with tattoos are seen as drug addicts and criminals. I have been living in Lisbon for 8 years now and i found my own family here, my friends. After getting these new tattoos on my arms I started crying immediately and called a friend of mine just freaking out, what did i do?? why?? this wasn't something i need?? and it is so big and i cant hide it and i'll have to see it everyday forever!!! i felt so stupid... The thought of telling my mother started sinking in and i started losing sleep, feeling even more depressed, couldnt eat, plus my house environment also changed in the last months so I felt stuck inside my room with no job and feeling so alone and so angry. I started having panic attacks and crying a lot over everything and nothing and i felt weak and couldnt recognize myself. I felt lost. I had always been a melancholic person, but my depression was never this bad before. One day i told my mom over skype and showed her my tattoos, she almost cried but didnt because of my own condition but she was very disapointed and said she didnt understand why i did it but she had to accept it. Thought it would make me feel better but it didnt. I couldnt sleep for days and days, i had to meet a cousin and an aunt and I had long sleeves the whole time cause i know they also dont like tattoos. My body was also shaking and i was full of anxiety. Time goes by and i decided to get help from a psychologist, I have been going to her for almost 2 months now and although it helped to talk at the begining right now i just still feel so hopeless and helpless and I believe the main reason for this huge breakdown was getting these tattoos. I have tried to come to terms with one of them, but the other 2 i want them gone. I have tried to research a lot on tattoo removing in Portugal but there isn't a lot, especially in Lisbon. Today i'm sharing my story and saying thank you to all of you out there for sharing yours because you've helped me a lot through this hard hard process. I'm so afraid of going to meet my family, I'm so afraid of the future, I wish i could go back in time. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I thought that getting a job and finding a new house would make me feel better but in the end i really think the problem was the tattoos and their timing and placement, maybe if i had them done some other place of the body where i couldnt see it would be fine? I don't know. I have no problems with the designs itself, they had personal meaning and all, but the way they were done wasnt very good and i cant recognize myself anymore.I just wanted to ask you what do you think my chances are of getting this one removed, a friend of mine says i got the best one because it's just black lines and it isnt too big (for me it looks huge). Ive read so many reviews Im not sure anymore which lasers work best, but my goal is to start looking at doctors and stuff in the winter ( tattoo will be 6 month old) but i cant find much info about places to go in Lisbon. Sorry for the big text but Im trying my best to come to terms with either accepting my choice or getting the tattoo removed.... It's one of the few things that give me hope right now.
Back in the beginning of April me and 2 other friends decided to get some ink, i already have 3 really small tattoos i had done in 2014 and i love them. The tattoo artist is someone I've known for years, not necessarily a close friend but we get along. But this time around it all felt so quick and impulsive, I haven't been feeling well for a while, then I lost my job at the end of march and then I had this trip scheduled to London on April 13 and that was my main goal at the time. I had been thinking about getting new tattoos but I was never sure where, since the first ones i got were so small I had no issues with hiding them, although I was really afraid of my parents/family's reaction. This is the major problem for me mentally I think, I come from a tiny island where people with tattoos are seen as drug addicts and criminals. I have been living in Lisbon for 8 years now and i found my own family here, my friends. After getting these new tattoos on my arms I started crying immediately and called a friend of mine just freaking out, what did i do?? why?? this wasn't something i need?? and it is so big and i cant hide it and i'll have to see it everyday forever!!! i felt so stupid... The thought of telling my mother started sinking in and i started losing sleep, feeling even more depressed, couldnt eat, plus my house environment also changed in the last months so I felt stuck inside my room with no job and feeling so alone and so angry. I started having panic attacks and crying a lot over everything and nothing and i felt weak and couldnt recognize myself. I felt lost. I had always been a melancholic person, but my depression was never this bad before. One day i told my mom over skype and showed her my tattoos, she almost cried but didnt because of my own condition but she was very disapointed and said she didnt understand why i did it but she had to accept it. Thought it would make me feel better but it didnt. I couldnt sleep for days and days, i had to meet a cousin and an aunt and I had long sleeves the whole time cause i know they also dont like tattoos. My body was also shaking and i was full of anxiety. Time goes by and i decided to get help from a psychologist, I have been going to her for almost 2 months now and although it helped to talk at the begining right now i just still feel so hopeless and helpless and I believe the main reason for this huge breakdown was getting these tattoos. I have tried to come to terms with one of them, but the other 2 i want them gone. I have tried to research a lot on tattoo removing in Portugal but there isn't a lot, especially in Lisbon. Today i'm sharing my story and saying thank you to all of you out there for sharing yours because you've helped me a lot through this hard hard process. I'm so afraid of going to meet my family, I'm so afraid of the future, I wish i could go back in time. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I thought that getting a job and finding a new house would make me feel better but in the end i really think the problem was the tattoos and their timing and placement, maybe if i had them done some other place of the body where i couldnt see it would be fine? I don't know. I have no problems with the designs itself, they had personal meaning and all, but the way they were done wasnt very good and i cant recognize myself anymore.I just wanted to ask you what do you think my chances are of getting this one removed, a friend of mine says i got the best one because it's just black lines and it isnt too big (for me it looks huge). Ive read so many reviews Im not sure anymore which lasers work best, but my goal is to start looking at doctors and stuff in the winter ( tattoo will be 6 month old) but i cant find much info about places to go in Lisbon. Sorry for the big text but Im trying my best to come to terms with either accepting my choice or getting the tattoo removed.... It's one of the few things that give me hope right now.
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