25, One Child, Long Awaited Change - Portland, OR

Pretty sure I've watched every breast augmentation...

Pretty sure I've watched every breast augmentation vlog on the Internet. I'm 25, I breastfed my daughter for two and a half of her five years. Pre-op was a week ago... Surgery in less than a week. I've been saving for this for four years and considering it for five. Going from a 34aa to hopefully a small d. Excited to update next week.

mini pre-op update size etc

I think my surgeon didn't want me caught up on numbers because cc's look different in everyone, but also to be fair, I didn't ask directly. Anyway, I asked his staff in an email instead and he is planning to use 375cc hp cohesive by Sientra. I guess he was right not to tell me that, because it does seem intimidating. I trust him though. I am 5'5" and 130lbs, and I have olive skin so I will probably have dark scars, but I've come to terms with that. This has been the longest week ever!

Less than 48 hours away.

My coping mechanism for the anxiety is a selective brain fog. I can't focus on anything very well, but at least I'm not freaking out! haha.
I chose a surgeon five hours from where I live, and will be driving up with my fiancé tomorrow night. Motel reservations already made. My surgeon is going to let me come back for a post-op on Saturday so that my fiancé and I can go home Saturday night, and I will come back to have my sutures removed the following Friday on a day trip with a friend from work. My fiancé shares a few small businesses and time off isn't really possible this year, but we are getting married next year and I wanted to be fully healed and able to feel feminine in a wedding dress so its now or never.
What do you guys think about the schedule? Is a post-op appointment the day after an unwise decision? and are sutures usually taken out only a week later?


These are the last pictures I will ever take of these. Good riddance! Sorry about the mom belly. Didn't snap back like some.

Ruminations re: boob greed

So. I think I am posting too frequently which obviously means I am thinking about everything way too much. I am still pre-op but starting to understand boob greed.
I think as a flat chested person, just about any improvement seems like a miracle. Then after surgery when we start becoming accustomed to actually having something there, we realize that larger isn't necessarily gaudy.
I am admittedly worried about getting 375cc silicone under the muscle, but for no legitimate reason. At first it seemed like too much, and it concerned me that high profile in that range would look fake on my frame. But after reading more of your stories I am instead concerned that although it will be a huge change for me, ultimately it will be too small. It's been hard to find people who start out as flat chested as me and are happy with anything less than 400. I also regret not discussing breast changes after pregnancy with my surgeon, because while breastfeeding, my boobs got kind of cone shaped, and I don't want them to look like they did then... and I am worried that high profile implants will do that.

Am I going crazy or are these legitimate concerns? Ugh. What a weird position to be in, in life.


Surgery in the morning. Gatta be there at 7:45. But for some reason... I am still 5 hours away and can't leave until around 8 tonight. My fiancé works too hard and I am really frustrated that he didn't make accommodations to leave early so that I can sleep tonight. Instead he will sleep in the car and I'll get us there by 1ish... And then I can sleep for a couple hours.
I've looked forward to all of this for several years and the reality is turning out to be kind of shitty. Wish I had more support.

Night before.

Just got to Portland. Will be updating again post operatively. It was hard saying bye to my daughter. Can't wait to get home to her.


Took Ativan before surgery calmed be way down. Pictures soon.

On the other side.

I was the only surgical appointment today at my doctors office, so things happened pretty quickly. They had given me a 2mg Ativan at my pr-op to take an hour before my appointment. So, I was already looped when I got there. I went in one room to change into a gown, got an IV put in, went into a new room with the operative table. The nurse said she would administer something to make me less nervous and I was passed out maybe 5 minutes later. She attached sensors to both my shoulders, my back, and my right leg to watch my vitals, and strapped my arms down to avoid a medicated me trying to "help" with surgery. They say you get amnesia from twilight anesthesia but I remember a few things. I could feel when they pushed the implant in and when they did the sutures. Not in a painful way, there was no pain- just an awareness. I think I left the place a little earlier than I should have. When we got to our motel it was very difficult to walk to our room. It's also very difficult to remember not to use your arms to lift yourself up from a sitting position. Getting tired again. Nap time. I will update this evening or tomorrow after post-op. Standing up is almost impossible thus far.

Driving home !

Had my post op this morning, I have no bruising and I don't think I'm going to need any more painkillers. He used 375cc high profile silicone, and once again I'm 5'5" and 130lbs, incision in the crease. He took off the ace wrap that was put on yesterday and I'm going home with a front zip sports bra and the band of death. My surgeon is such a great guy, and the nurses were exceptional as well. His name is John S. Lee and I highly recommend him if you live in the area. They even let me pick the pandora station. Sorry if I repeated anything from the last update. I was incredibly looped!

Pain, etc.

My junk hurts pretty bad. I am starting to feel the incisions. The implants are not exactly as big as I wanted them but it's very obvious he did put in the largest size he could fit. My skin is so stretched that it's shiny. Hoping to avoid stretch marks. My next appointment is Thursday to remove stitches. Anyway. Here's the before and after.


I think I wouldn't need pain meds if I didn't have to wear this awful thing. It's three straps not just one. One goes around your band underneath, and the other two velcro to it and push your boobs down and inward... protecting against double bubble and helping everything to stretch out and drop. I think I have a large B cup, and even though i was shooting for a small D, I'm still really happy because I know there was nothing anyone could have done to go bigger without me ending up with stretch marks and a uniboob. My fiancé has been the most amazing caregiver. I'm a really lucky woman and I'm proud of myself for being able to reach this goal on my own. Still feeling a little woozy from the painkillers. Another update soon.


Barely managed to make my way over to the other side of the room for pain medication. Woke up an hour ago in what I can only hope is the peak of pain and swelling... because I can't handle much more. I'm not sure if it's because I overdid it yesterday or if this is the natural course of things but I can't sit up by myself, can't open my pill bottles etc. even pulling the covers up over me hurts. I'm considering taking this Velcro thing off just to sleep.

Day 2. Never in my wildest dreams....

....did I anticipate having curvy underboob.

I am in a ton of pain, and I'm a little anxious about seeing the final result after they drop and my swelling goes down... But I am happy.

The swelling is pretty bad over my sternum. It looks almost like tenting and a small step toward uniboob but the implants are under the muscle so I'm confident I'm just swollen.

Day 3

I am still tripping out on this.

My pain today is very tolerable, and the muscle relaxers are helping more than the pain killers do. I should have listened to everyone about the stool softener... Tmi I know but I haven't been able to "go" since Thursday & I'm rather bloated.

My implants are high profile but I don't have that upper pole mound that I thought I would. I think my surgeon just made the pocket in the perfect spot. They do need to drop a bit and fill out the lower half but I have a feeling I will have a general idea of my final results much sooner than some.
I've been posting here probably too much so after this I'm gonna wait until the first week is over.

Here is my before photo profile again with an after profile.

Unexpected pain, Day 5

All of the initial pain from stretching muscle and tissue is pretty mellow now aside from the occasional cramp, but my nipples HURT. I think it's from having a sports bra on 24/7 but also possibly just hypersensitivity. Or both. It is a very similar sensation to the first week of breastfeeding, where you grind your teeth and cry a little when it's time to unlatch. I can't find anyone else with this issue.
My incisions are also a little sore. Sutures come out tomorrow and I will find out how much longer I need to wear this compression strap, and get a few other questions answered.
I remember a fair amount of surgery, but I don't understand why they handed me a warm water balloon. Does that sound weird? That sounds weird. If anyone else had that happen... enlighten me.

Everything is still pretty stiff. I don't really mind looking like a doofus with these contraptions on but I'd kill to be comfortable for an hour.

I'll post pictures tomorrow of my incisions after the sutures are out.

One week. Sutures out.

Had a post op appointment yesterday. Got there about 45 minutes early but he saw me anyway. Sutures removed and I was shown 4 different massages I need to do every day. The water balloon thing... Apparently under anesthesia my hands got really cold and I think they filled a glove with warm water to warm me up. That's the only thing that makes sense... My incisions are healing alright. I didn't realize they would feel so lumpy deep into the tissue. I was told to put neosporin on them twice daily.

10 days post

No more pain except for when there's pressure on the incision sites and about a half dollar sized area on my left side that feels like a bruise when touched. Nerves healing I guess. Nipple pain is slightly less now but they are still erect 100% of the time. I sure hope that goes away with time. Incisions looking ok.

Two weeks post.

It's been two weeks, but feels like much longer. I'm honestly not sure how people return to their normal jobs so quickly but my first day back at work is Monday. The job has some +/- 50lb lifting in it so I will still have to be on light duty.
Recovery is going alright for the most part, but my left breast is still tender, particularly between my sternum and nipple and my left nipple is still painful to the touch (and a consistent burning sensation when not being touched.)

I did develop some stretch marks on the underside of both breasts but I believe they are continuations of the ones from breastfeeding.
I was instructed to put neosporin on my incisions twice a day but now that they are rather sealed I have been doing it once a day and vitamin e oil at night. I know you can buy vitamin E in bottles mixed with mineral oil but I don't want to use something that is mostly mineral oil when I don't know how available the vitamin E is in it so I buy vitamin E soft capsules (no acids added) and pop them open. One cap does both breasts just fine and I put the extra on my lips.
Wasn't sure how to illustrate how soft they are at the moment so that's what the poking pictures are. Hahha. They were extremely firm until like two days ago. Still pretty firm compared to a real boob but getting better. Will update again maybe at three weeks or after my one month appointment.

Three weeks

Posted a couple days ago but it never showed up? Three weeks today.


One month

Not a whole lot of change. My family doesn't seem to notice anything and if they have noticed they haven't said anything. My mother is the only person in my immediate family that I told, and she told her mother because her mother has had saline implants for about 30 years.
I know a lot of people are pretty open about the process, but it was very personal for me.
In the same way that I never felt obligated to tell my in-laws or my grandparents or coworkers about my sex life, I have had no desire to tell them about my surgery. It simply isn't something I put out in the open. I don't tell the world every time I style my pubic hair... And I would consider it rude for anyone to ask. I don't see how other parts of my body are any different.
My insecurity wasn't something I ever wanted anyone to see. This journey has been especially private because it's connected to aspects of me that I have considered it dignified to manage privately for a very long time. I'm sure some other people feel the same way.

just an observation....

My implants are high profile but they don't have that rounded appearance on top at all even when they are pushed up. Same from the side. I had almost no breast tissue but you still can't see the outline of the implant, even when you try. I think they will end up looking very natural once Gravity has its way. I also don't really have cleavage in bras. I wonder if that is related.

If anyone is reading this pre-op...
Boob greed is real. But it's not greed. It's an understanding that comes after a couple weeks. A "D" cup is actually pretty small. If you've always been fly chested I know that is hard to believe... But it's true. I used to think all the curvy women I was seeing were Ds or DDs... But they definitely weren't. The Ds I did see.... I thought were Bs. I know cup sizes are arbitrary but you know what I mean.
I don't think I will ever get mine done again, but if it could have fit, knowing what I know now, I would have asked for 475ccs.

More one month pics

High profile...I don't think they look weird laying down.

I wouldn't call it boob greed.

It's been a month, and I have realized and am preparing to cope with the reality that I still have little boobs. The worst thing to do to yourself is to keep looking at boob pictures.
You know, the thing that upsets me (aside from the expected) Is that if I do save up again, by the time I can afford it *and* have had ample time to decide that it is what I really want, (5+years) I'm not even sure my surgeon will still be in practice, and I can't imagine trusting anyone else.

Trying to remind myself he fit as much as my body allowed, and any more in the future could mean rippling, sagging, etc.

I'd also hate for him to think I'm anything less than eternally grateful.

Two months approx.

Pardon the mess, I'm in the middle of moving to a new house.

My cup size shrank a bit. The 34d bras I bought still fit fine but now so do 34c's. I think I'm a 32d technically. They are firm some days and soft on others. Kind of strange. Really hoping to lose the upper pole. My surgeon said to stop doing the exercise/massage where I push them downward for ten seconds three times a day so I haven't been but I'm thinking maybe it was too soon to stop? Or maybe he just has a better idea of how they will age. (Duh)
After a few years I hope to have more of a young Anne Hathaway shape. Since they ended up being small... shape is considerably more important than it would have been for me. As cute as perky boobs are, I'd rather have a nice slope with more fullness underneath. Time will tell!

I still regret nothing. Instead of being in a constant state of being dissatisfied, it is only occasional dissatisfaction when I see women with what I would consider a perfect, full chest. But I'm at the point where I can start learning how to better appreciate the bodies of others without needing to look like them. I do feel like maybe I didn't educate myself enough or fully realize what I really wanted, but again, he put in the largest implant he could without future complications and I trust him entirely. When I get down about it, I read explant and reduction reviews and remember that having a smaller chest is beautiful, too, and there are tons of women who have had to go through a lot of chaos just to have that.

And I am right in the middle somewhere.
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