57 YR, 2 Grown Daughters - Finally Going to Lose This Miserable Belly! Tummy Tuck, Chin Lipo - San Mateo, CA

Let me tell you all about myself. I'm 56 and I live in the Silicon Valley area, California. I've had two daughters through normal vaginal births. I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I'm generally healthy. I run a small business from home (I work from home). Until recently I never considered getting any sort of major cosmetic surgery. But the effects of menopause changed my mind. I'm 5'3" and spent most of my adult life in the range of 125 to 135 lbs. I wasn't happy with the way my belly looked after two births, but it didn't bother me *that* much. I figured maybe I'd get lipo one day. My bikini days were over, but that didn't matter to me or my husband very much, because I looked OK in clothes. Other than the belly, I was happy with the way my body looked.

I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (auto-immune thyroid disease). That alone messes up your metabolism. Even though my thyroid is stable from taking Synthroid, my age and the disease makes it harder to lose weight. And in addition, I'm on a small dose of Lexapro for mild depression (a common result of thyroid disease), which probably also slows my metabolism somewhat.

As I entered my late 40s and early 50s and started to go through menopause, my body began to change. I gained weight, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't lose it. My Endocrinologist told me this would happen, but I didn't want to believe her. Oh, I'd go on a diet, watch my calories, etc and lose 5 to 8 lbs, only to gain it all back when I got sick with a cold, or was on vacation -- and the be back at square one. And mind you, I wasn't eating like a crazy person on vacation, just sensibly with a few desserts here and there. I always walk a lot of vacation, but that exercise does't seem to balance out anything.

Over the years, I tried Atkins, Weight Watchers, just watching my calories with MyFitnessPal -- but it was futile. So by the time I hit age 55, I weighed an average of 147 to 149 lbs (with a high of 152 lbs after being in Spain for a month on vacation). And most of that extra weight is in my midsection. My miserable fat menopause belly! Uugh, some of it is now even under my chin! I always had a nice sculpted chin, but not anymore! I hate how I look in pictures now! I look like a fat version of the woman I used to see in the mirror!

When I say "fat," I know that for some women, even 152 lbs is a goal weight. But you have to understand that I was a skinny child and a thin adult. I never had a problem with my weight or my body image. I never had an eating disorder. I was just normal and happy with the way I looked -- until I hit my 50s.

I exercise regularly, but I can't do crazy workouts because I have orthopedic problems and I need to be careful. I have two herniated discs in my lower back and two in my cervical spine. I learned the hard way that I should not lift anything heavy, and certainly not twist and lift at the same time. I've had more than my share of mind-numbing pain from back and hip problems over the years. Through trial and error I have learned what works and what doesn't. Nowadays I do regular stretching, foam rolling and Tai Chi. I get aerobic exercise on a stationary bike, walking, and swimming in the warm months. I stay as active as I can within boundaries. I have found an acupuncturist, a shiatsu massage person, an active release therapy person, a terrific physical therapist, and incredible doctors that I trust.

I'm no stranger to surgery -- I've had six of them:

2000- Right foot - removal of extra Navicular bone and re-attachment of mis-attached tendon (congenital defect).

2003 - Left shoulder - removal of painful calcium deposits.

2008 - Sinus surgery to remove benign growth.

2012 - Right hip - torn Labrum (cartilage) - repair and removal of bone spur.

Early 2015 - Left shoulder again - Frayed Rotator Cuff - repair and removal of bone spur.

Late 2015 - Left hip - fraying Labrum (cartilage) - repair and removal of bone spur.

My body just loves to grow bone spurs!

Not to mention a period of time in around 2005-2006 when I badly hurt my back lifting things I shouldn't have been lifting. I was exercising a lot at the time and was very strong -- but that didn't matter. I was in agony for months. Years later an MRI revealed that I had ripped my Gluteus Minimus, which explained a lot of things. At the time however, no doctors thought to do an MRI of my hips, only of my back, which of course revealed only the herniated discs (which had been there for years already). So now I understand why it took so long for me to feel better. That period of years was truly miserable, with cortisone shots and lots of fruitless physical therapy.

So my dears, I'm no stranger to the OR, and I'm no stranger to pain.

When I learned how to control my fears and pain through meditation, I learned the phrase "Suffering Is Optional." Think about that: yes, you may be physically hurting, but your EMOTIONAL suffering is OPTIONAL. Learning that was a game changer for me.

So, knowing all that about me -- now I'm thinking about getting a Tummy Tuck done, which will be my first ELECTIVE surgery. I was hoping that just Lipo or CoolSculpting would do the trick for me, but apparently not (according to the many plastic surgeons that I consulted). I don't take this decision lightly. I worry about how doing this may effect me emotionally and physically. I am not sure whether it will be good for my back (repairing a small umbilical hernia and tightening the abdominal muscles) -- or will it be bad for my back -- or have no real effect on my back? I worry about being bent over for a while and not being able to do my trusty pelvic tilts and hip flexor stretches.

Obviously, I have a long list of questions to ask my plastic surgeon. My husband and two daughters (who are now young adults) are very supportive. They know how miserable I've been in the past 7+ years -- having to constantly buy larger pants because of my stupid belly, having to buy shirts that aren't too tight at the belly. Hating the way I look in photos (when the hell did I turn into a double chinned thick-wasted middle-aged woman????) I have bins and bins of "old pants and old shirts" that I don't want to throw out -- hoping that one day I might fit into them again IF I COULD JUST LOSE THE BELLY! And lord forbid that I forget and put a certain shirt or pair of pants in the dryer -- they will shrink and then they'll have to go into the "well maybe I'll fit in to this if I can lose a few pounds" bin.

After all I've been through with back pain, hip pain -- hell just pain and frustration in general -- I'm excited about the prospect of being able to wear nice clothes again, ditch the granny panties and LOOK the way I FEEL -- which is NOT middle aged! I'm also scared. From what I've read, this is all very normal. I should mention, of course, that my plastic surgeon is going to do a little lipo under my chin along with the tummy tuck. I had explored getting a neck lift, but it's very expensive (the facial surgeon I would want charges $25k), and I don't think I need anything that complicated done right now to my chin and neck -- if ever).

I am just beginning to explore this forum and this website, and I'm grateful that it exists. Now that we have paid off our house and paid for our girls' college, it's time to spend some money on something that will make a big difference in my personal happiness.

I'll upload photos along the way. Please stay with me on my journey; I need and appreciate your support.

After researching Tummy Tucks a little more carefully, I realized that there were important questions that I needed to ask. My choice is between two very highly rated plastic surgeons in my area. I like both of them, but there is a significant price difference between them.

"Dr. A" will charge about $11k for the Tummy Tuck plus a little Lipo under my chin -- and can do everything (herself and her surgical MD partner). She has been doing plastic surgery for about 6 years, but has an excellent pedigree. Her surgery center is also right across the street from a major highly respected hospital where she has admitting privileges. Her consultation was free but she didn't go into a lot of details. I think I spent about a half hour with her.

"Dr. B" The other will charge $14k , which includes the services of a separate (but also highly rated) general surgeon who will fix the umbilical hernia. She and her surgery center are a few miles closer to my house than "Dr. A," but neither one is very far (within 10 easy miles). The advantage of "Dr. B" is that she is older than I am and has many more years of experience than "Dr. A" (which might account for her higher price). She spent a lot of time with me (more than an hour) explaining the surgery in great detail. I liked her a lot (I paid almost $200 for her consultation, which accounts for the amount of time she spent with me).

I want my husband to meet both doctors and get the opportunity to ask questions. I value his opinion, and I think that ultimately he can help me decide which surgeon to go with.

I also have some very important questions to ask them about how this surgery might affect my back, and what to expect during the healing phase. I might also possibly consult with my orthopedist. I just don't want to do anything which would mess up my back. My situation can be a bit tenuous sometimes -- for instance, if I do a lot of bending over, or things that involve a lot of twisting -- I have suffered for weeks or even months until my muscles or nerves have recovered.

I've read that repairing the abdominal muscles might actually strengthen my back, and that makes sense to me. But my body has sometimes defied common sense. So obviously I'm hesitant. Things are good for me right now. The last thing I would want is to curse the day I decided to have this surgery.

Anyway, we're seeing Dr. A on Tuesday. We won't be able to see Dr. B until the end of June. At that time, I'll make my decision, possibly with the help of my orthopedist.

Every time I get nervous about this, I think about all of the clothes I'll be able to wear again. Since I decided to look into this, not a day has gone by when I haven't seen a woman or a piece of clothing and thought, "After this surgery, I'll be able to wear that again!" or "After this surgery, that will look good on me again!"

Is this mere vanity -- not wanting to look like a thick-waisted middle-aged woman when I don't feel like that -- when I don't FEEL like what I see in the mirror is the "real me?"

I feel lucky that at my age, I have the ability to think about the whim of cosmetic surgery when other women are facing necessary surgery to save their lives from horrible diseases. I'm lucky; I'm blessed.

My husband went along with me yesterday to talk to Dr. A. I had a long list of questions, which she answered to my satisfaction. I also got a peak at the operating rooms from the reception area (they were in use, so of course I couldn't go inside).
Everything about Dr. A's credentials, manner, experience, and surgical facility is great. I feel very comfortable with her, and I feel that she is more than qualified to do my surgery. We were going to also see Dr. B in a couple of weeks, but we have decided that it won't be necessary. We like Dr. A very much. One of the things I like the most is that she doesn't pull so tight that you're bent over for a long period of time after the surgery. She has 10 years of experience with this and said that she does, on average, 2 to 3 Tummy Tucks per week. That's over 100 per year for many years. That's the sort of experience I'm looking for.
Before I plunk down my deposit, I want to get an opinion from two of the orthopedists that I've seen for my back problems. I just want to get their assurances that tightening the ab muscles won't be detrimental to my back. Everything I've read has said that it will probably be beneficial in the long run, but I want to dot all of my i's and cross all of my t's before fully committing to this.
Nevertheless, I'm extremely excited at the prospect of losing this ugly belly and being able to wear normal clothes again -- and not look so matronly anymore.
There is a risk that the small amount of liposuction she'll do on my chin may result in some loose skin. Every single plastic surgeon that I saw was willing to do some lipo under the chin for me, so I think the risk couldn't be that bad. The submental skin is still very thick and healthy, so hopefully it will bounce back. I don't really want to have to get a neck lift, but I'm not ruling it out for the future. The doctor who would do it (the best in my area) would charge $25k, and it's a 4 to 5 hour operation, so it's not the sort of procedure I would do on a whim!
I'll continue to update this as things progress.