No Kids - Genetic Jackpot! Overland Park, KS

There's a lot that went into my decision to have this surgery. The quick version is that I've had a pot belly since I was about 14, which has stayed with me for the last twenty years, no matter what weight I was. I'm 5'4" and over the years have been at a variety of weights. I've spent the last five years or so around 155-160. I managed to shrink it at my lowest weight, but I've always had a hanging belly. Looking at family photos from the mid and early 20th century, I think it's just hereditary.

The amount of energy I put into concealing my belly and hoping people don't notice it is staggering. I think I hide this all right with a veneer of faked confidence, but the truth is the best I've ever felt about my body is "less ugly than it has been."

I have a husband who has loved me at every weight, but I'm in my mid-thirties and I don't want to hit my forties never having felt truly sexy. I want to feel uninhibited and less burdened about my body.

And I don't want yet another well-meaning coworker to suspect that I am pregnant and ask other people in the office if they know what I'm having, or worse, ask me.

There are clothes that I haven't worn in a couple of years because I was mistaken for pregnant in them and didn't want to get rid of them but was too self conscious to wear.

I am curious what it will feel like if I come out of my recovery no longer being at war with my body.

I'll talk a little more about my pre-surgery preparations and my doctor later. And I'll consider adding some photos. For now, I'm a little nervous about the procedure and I'm mildly stressed about preparing for everything, but I'm glad that the date is set and that I've decided to do this for myself.

Things really started to get rolling today. I have to admit I was getting a little worried last week because I had a few questions and couldn't get in touch with the plastic surgery nurse. However, I called again today and learned that she was out of the office sick last week, which was a relief because, let's be honest, I'm on the neurotic side and was worried this meant the office wasn't good about communication and AM I RUINING MY LIFE AND MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE THESE PEOPLE ARE CUTTING MY BODY AND NOT ANSWERING MY E-MAILS

Uh, so anyway we got the communication situation sorted out so if I have any further questions I should be all set and I feel comfortable that anything I need will get taken care of. I asked her about nausea post-procedure, which is one of my main worries because I HATE feeling sick to my stomach (plus, who wants to throw up with sutured-up abs), and she reassured me and said they could arrange for me to have a patch that I would wear for several days.

After I talked to the nurse, who was helpful, she explained that they do everything 7 days prior--surgery instructions, payment, etc. Which is why I hadn't heard anything. I hadn't been contacted for a pre-operative appointment, because I had my annual in late November and my primary care sent them over my information and said I was cleared for the procedure. So a pre-op wasn't necessary.

Someone called and took my payment over the phone late morning. Biggest credit card charge I have ever made - kind of excited to collect the rewards points from this one!

Late in the afternoon I got a call from someone with the surgery center, taking health history and other information for the anesthesiologist. I asked her about nausea as well because I'm determined that every single person I talk to should know how badly I don't want to throw up, so we discussed that and she said the anesthesiologist would talk with me again the morning of.

My procedure is at 9:15 AM. I check in at 7:15 AM.

Instructions: top taking fish oil tablets for the next week (fine with me!) and skip my Allegra that morning of. OK to take my daily omeprazole with a small sip of water that morning. Avoid ibuprofen (which I expected) and use acetaminophen for any pain relief needs for a week before and after my procedure. Wear comfortable clothing to the surgery center and check in at the front desk.

After we hung up I realized I forgot to ask what was the cutoff for eating and drinking before the procedure. Also, am I allowed to take my antidepressant in the morning?

Things to ask the nurse tomorrow:

When does starvation begin?
Are happy pills safe?
Can I get the post-procedure instructions in advance so that I can review them and feel prepared? What about pain drugs? Do I have to fill a script or do you fill them there and send them with me?

Thing I did not check on with the nurse but am actively thinking of:

* JUST how constipating are narcotics? Very, is what I heard. Which is why I started being very fiber conscious a couple of days ago. My goal is to be all fibered up and NOT be one of those people who can't poop for like 5 days post-procedure and has to endure a humiliating enema.

So basically I'm saying this whole thing will be a success on the basis of three criteria:
* not dying on operating table
* belly gone
* no enema

Standing at desk, dropped a potato chip and did not hear it hit the floor. Looked down to see it resting on my tummy.

My belly is obviously in frenemy territory. Embarrassingly big, yes, but also saving me from eating floor food.

Let's be honest, though. I'm fine with floor food. Goodbye, chip shelf!