33 Yo W/ 1 Child. 11 Yo Saline Under Muscle W/ Incision Located Below Breast. Cannot Wait to Be Healed! - Overland Park, KS

Like so many ladies on RealSelf I found this site while digging online for explant information. It has been such a reassurance for me every time I have any doubts or questions, that I feel an unwavering need to pay it forward. Just got off the phone with my fiance, and I let him know I was posting my boobs online, he said, "That's great!" Not exactly the response you would expect from your significant other for posting nudie pics for the public! But he catches me looking at boobs on here ALL the time! He knows how helpful this site has been. I haven't had much doubt that implant is the right decision for me. But every time I read a review on here, and I see ladies with imperfect breasts typing that they can live with the imperfections to be free and natural, it reassures me even more that regardless of my outcome, I will not regret this decision.
For the last 11 years I have had a love hate relationship with these big boobies. I remember the first time I saw them after my augmentation surgery. I HATED them! They looked like giant balloons, so unnatural! As time has gone on, and after having my daughter 5 years ago, they did settle in some, and they look somewhat more natural not sitting so high. I can't say that I have hated these boobs every day. It's been an interesting ride. I've felt elated to fill out a swimsuit top, and more recently, I've felt embarrassed that my breasts fall out everywhere and (to me) look so obviously fake! I’ve been excited that I fill out the breast area in tailored clothing, and disappointed that some of my favorite clothes look inappropriate with boobs falling out everywhere, or just fit so tight in the chest that I feel like I can hardly move.
When I was young, 23, I wanted big boobs so bad because I am a pear shaped figure –ALL BOOTY! And I just felt so disproportionate. Now, I realize that the top is not supposed to match the bottom! Everyone is built differently, and I need to accept that my body is ‘All about that bass’ – in the words of Meghan Trainor. Everyone needs to accept and love their body as uniquely theirs! I am so tired of seeing all plastic! Sometimes it is obvious, and sometimes it is not. But it makes everyone look the same, and it makes anyone who is all natural feel not good enough that we don’t fit in society’s perfect mold. But who actually does?! No one! Not even celebrities who have to pay to look like they do. Whether they talk about it publicly or not, I bet at least 90% of them have had surgeries. And for the parts that still don’t look 100% appealingly perfect, there is Photoshop and CGI. These same celebrities are losing their own sense of self. They are being told that who they are naturally is not good enough, and that leads so many of them to serious mental disorders –as we all know. Seriously! I want so badly to see some naturally beautiful women in the media. It’s time we started accepting flaws, but instead of seeing them as flaws, looking at them as attributes that make up a truly unique person.
Point being, I have SO many personal reasons I want to take these things out of my body. I have been so blessed in that, I have not had any noticeable health issues from my implants. I have only ever had to have one surgery 11 years ago when I had them implanted. I don’t have a capsular contraction or a faulty implant now. And, I have to honestly say I think my implants look pretty damn good. So, I’m sure you are wondering, why would I want these things out?
I made myself a long list of reasons why I want them out. That way, I can come back to it and look at it after the implants are removed. I know I will most likely have moments where I think, “Aww damn! I don’t fill out this top anymore… why did I want to get rid of those big fake boobies again?” And I truly believe that having this list is going to be very therapeutic for me. A reminder from my past self (who is currently living with these implants) of all the reasons I wanted to have them taken out. So, here is my list:
1. Foreign Objects
I’m a so much more of a health nut now. Why would I want anything in my body in which my body feels that it must build a protective capsule around to protect itself? I am not a doctor, but my line of thinking is, if your immune system is constantly expending some amount of energy defending itself from a foreign object you chose to place inside of you, then it has less ability to defend itself from everything else. Hence, the implant health issues so many women experience.
2. Continued Surgeries
Why oh why put my body through more stress of elective surgeries?
3. Looks
They look too big to me on my frame, I get looks down my chest from guys all the time (never used to with the little tatas), I’m embarrassed over the way I look in a swimsuit, afraid that people can tell they are fake.
4. Uncomfortable when working out
I can feel them when I do certain chest or ab exercises, and running is so much harder than it used to be. I gotta strap these bad boys in with the tightest most uncomfortable compression bra, and even then, if I am not in the upmost running shape, I feel completely dragged down by them.
5. Back Pain
I have to stretch and keep my core strong, otherwise I experience back pain I never had pre-BA. I want to stay strong anyway, but they are contributing to the issue, I believe.
6. Loss of Sensation
I had such AMAZING sensitivity pre-BA. That is one thing I am really hoping to regain. I discussed this with my doctor, and she said I most likely would regain the sensitivity! WOO HOO!! All these years I have thought, "Well, that's it! I made this decision, and I'll never have that sensual sensitivity again." So I was nervous to even bring up that question with her, but she just said, unworried, it will probably come back. Oh, how I hope so! The regaining of sensitivity is just one item on my wish list.
7. Breast Feeding
I was capable of producing milk with my first child, but I felt so engorged, yet there was not enough milk produced to satiate her. I am curious to try breastfeeding again after explant, and see if my production increases because I would think I will have more storage room for milk!
8. Pictures
They look so huge in pictures… sometimes I feel like it even makes my head look disproportionately small.
9. Clothes
The battle for well-fitting clothes will always continue, but I am excited to wear some things again and not look so slutty!
10. NO BRAS
Um yeah… remember how you could just walk around the house with no bra holding up the girls? I can’t do that anymore. They are too heavy. Can’t wait have the weight lifted!
11. Sleeping
On my stomach! Yay!! Even side sleeping sometimes feels weird… they are just always in the way.
12. Hugging
Mine don’t feel cold, like others have described, but they are just hard and in the way. Always having to move them around so they don’t get squished between my fiancé and I.
So, there it is. I could go on about all of this forever! A couple other quick notes I wanted to mention. My surgery date is 5 days from now with Dr. Sheryl Young. I love having a lady doctor. She has been amazing! I wouldn’t say her views align with mine on everything, but what is important to me is that she listens. For example, she is not opposed to breast implants, but when I told her I want mine remove, she did not argue or press me for why. So far, I am really happy with her, and I will update once the procedure is done. I am going under general anesthesia and I have to have my drains in for 6 days (Ugh… it was the soonest available appointment). We are leaving the capsules in, as it is Dr. Young’s belief that the body should reabsorb the capsule it made over time. I believe this is probably true, and it could be a more difficult surgery to remove it. Since I haven’t had any health issues, I am ok with just leaving the capsule in.
I’ll update as soon as I am feeling good enough after my surgery. Best wishes everyone!

Dr. Young and staff were amazing! I highly recommend Sheryl Young if you are in the Kansas City area. I feel so great! Light, just like others described. The pain is a constant ache, but pretty minimal. This is the day after surgery, and I have already switched to Ibuprofen.
I'm also VERY happy with the way they look right now. I can't believe how great they look considering this is only day one! This is like a dream come true for me. I get my drains out Friday morning, and then I will post update pics for these upcoming days when the drains are gone as well.
Best wishes and best of luck on your own journeys everyone!

Post op day two. Lefty is looking bigger and more fluffed than righty. They were never noticeably different sizes pre-BA, so I am hoping this is all part of the healing process, and they will even out when they are more fully healed.