Not Sure So Far. Little Hard to Make Expressions. // - Oregon

im not even going to waste my time updating except i saw dysport has a totally fake 93% worth it rating, which is ridiculous, i remember when i was coming here it was like 40% approval. many, many people were disfigured by it and sickened which lasted years. in my case, its been TEN YEARS and i still cant move my eyebrows normally. the muscles are clamped and locked and nothing i can do will unbreak the knots. im considering going to someone who does reconstructive surgery after an accident, to fix this damage. i tried to ignore it for ten years, but i finally had to admit, its ruining my life. people constantly think the scars left by dysport (muscle recruitment for all you drs pretending you never heard of it, youre welcome) are some sort of expression im making. i havent looked in a mirror in ten years. its definitely affecting my social life. and my personal life. even though this was done by an extremely qualified dr, Mark Jewell in Oregon, my face is still disfigured ten years later to where its affecting my social life.

i cant beleive dysport has anywhere near a 93% rating, it spreads too much, it doesnt 'soften' anything it turns your muscle into cement. dont buy the hype they just want your money. dysport can damage you for life. as i said, im now looking into actual reconstructive surgery like after an accident, to cover the scars and try to alleviate some of the muscle/nerve damage. dysport is very much NOT WORTH IT. its ruined ten years of my life. worst decision i ever made, trusting Mark Jewell. he migiht be good at other stuff but with faces hes just a total hack. he will ruin your face. do not use dysport and DO NOT go to dr Mark Jewell. i now need reconstructive surgery, this update is TEN YEARS LATER. buyer, beware

ok here we are halfway through march. i have gone from looking freakish to only abnormal... from looking horrifying to just, ugly. so i guess thats an improvement?
i still look really bad in the mornings but it isn't quite so bad. it is definitely very much till there. but the fact it fades at all, gives me hope. it is taking a LOOOONG time to fade away, but, i am still hopeful. it is very uncomfortable too, and has changed the way i feel in my body, it has changed the way i move, it is making me feel very depressed and tired, and also, it has really dulled my sex drive. this was an unexpected result and im not sure if its just cause im so damn stressed and tired, or some other reason.

still exercising, eating well, and i have STOPPED the meds i was taking.. i was taking muscle relaxers for the past ten years for sleep.. (due to head injury) and also, hydroxyzine which is an anticholinergic medicine. i feel with the large amount of anticholinergic medicines i have taken over the years, (other drugs that interfere with acetylcholine) i could have had too great an anticholinergic 'load' on my system, which may be one reason i had such a strong reaction. // and also, why it seemed to take so much longer to get better than it should. i mentioned to my dr that i was taking these meds and he took no notice. // it says right in the paperwork to tell your dr if you take muscle relaxants. so i dont know why he would ignore that, but he did. ive been very very very very disappointed with my drs reaction. i really expected better. i have reduced his rating significantly due to his failure to give me even one sensible answer, explanation, or suggestion for how to help this.

i am finding doctors who are telling me this happened because i was given too strong a dose, and it was applied carelessly and unevenly... they say that it is 'muscle recruitment'. that is all they can tell me. none of them has told me definiively it will definitely go away. it is funny how before this happened, everone assured me that no matter how awful the result, it ALWAYS goes away. now this has happened, suddenly noone is saying that.

i am learning a lot more about acetylcholine and also, the FDA. it is not great news. at least i am finding out why doctors seem so often in denial about this product. for some reason (read, $$$) they are taught by the manufacturers to downplay negative results. they are trained at training sessions ways to deflect questions 'its not related' or 'i disagree you look worse' are two classic examples and this is why patients so often hear these two phrases among others from so many different doctors when things go wrong. its all crafted to avoid liability and keep focus off the manufacturers, from requiring stricter warning labels or bad publicity. this is why so many of our doctors deny our problems and blame us for what has gone wrong. gues i shouldnt be surprised. its all about money for allergan and medicis. the sad thing is a lot of good doctors seem to be taken in by the hype, and believe the advertising, rather than their patients.. so they deny when reactions happen, rather than helping. very sad.

also, acetylcholine is a vital chemical in the body. it is a neurotransmitter that controls many many many vital functions including sleep, attentiveness, sex drive, and -many- other things besides muscle movement. i am -not- convinced that botox does not cross the blood brain barrier, and if dysport has even smaller molecules, it seems the risk is even greater with dysport. i also think the fact that it is so hard to get information when things go wrong, is because honestly noone really does understand how this stuff works. they are fortunate when it goes well, but when stuff goes wrong, they are lost, and this is when their lack of understanding shows. i think it can be used safely in a some people perhaps, or at least without evident damage, however, what happens when things go wrong is so severe, and so life changing, that i feel this stuff must realistically be treated with much, much greater care and caution than it currently is. and doses should be MUCH more conservative. MUCH. for everyone. again, it is only the manufacturers who benefit by selling 400 units at a time when many people need and want much, much less.

i am only coming back here to keep this updated. it has been almost seven months now and it sure would be great if i could feel normal again. i wear hats and try not to think about it. hopefuly, it will continue to fade.

ok well update. after all these months it is not so puffy in the mornings as it was, (praise god ) and ive actually gone a few days this week without needing pain medicine for headsaches. went back to my doctor and tried to be really nice and make sure he knew i didn't blame him. however, this time, he just looked very confused. he said 'maybe try acupuncture' then said -nothing- about when i could expect this to resolve !! he did not tell me it would go away, when it would go away, or if it would ever go away. nothing. he looked like a deer in headlights. he said he had nothing that would fix it. then he squeezed my hand and left without making another appointment. that was not fun. so at first i blamed the dysport but now im pretty sure the dr just overdosed me. i think he just did a fucked up job and he knows it. so i guess there is little more i can get in the way of help from him because he's obviously incompetent with dysport, even though hes very experienced and past pres of AAPS. im sure he feels bad and he should because this REALLY SUCKED. but honestly, i expected much much better from him . i was really disappointed how little he had to offer me. ive also defended him quite a bit but soon i will place his name here. thats a shame. wish he had continued to be supportive.

right now when people ask me should they try dysport i telll them to go down to the railroad tracks and pay a homeless person $20 to hit them with a rock. the results will be beter, it will cost less, and the recovery will be faster and les painful. thats my review of dysport.

just renewed my gym membership and that is all i will focus on now. im ready for this to be over, this has taken over every aspect of my life, i have to watch the light now in public places so i dont look like [RS bleep], i cant sleep over at my bf's because first thing in the morning i look like a freak and have to massage and massage to look even half normal, every morning and night plus ice packs and warm packs. i can never predict what will happen day to day its always changing and totally unpredictable. its literlly taken over my [RS bleep] life in the worst way. at five months now i must be through the worst of it. so just this month super detox marathon. i really feel its going to minimize. i really really do. right now i have no choice but to put all my energy toward getting the last of this [RS bleep] out of my body. much of my normal tone is back but i still look completely different, and have a lot of lack of tone/stiffness/weakness between my eyes. hopefully serious exercise this month will hasten the end of this truly fucked up ordeal. the saddest thing is if it had been done corectly, i think it actually would have been a good experience. so disgusted with this [RS bleep].