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Hello Ladies, I am so grateful to have found this...

Hello Ladies,
I am so grateful to have found this site! I shouldn't have waited to post 'my story' 10 hours PRIOR to my tt that's for sure! I suppose I was too busy reading everyone else's journey and trying to educate myself and gear up as best as possible.
I am (37) a sahm to 3 kids (15, 5, 4) and have an amazing and wonderful supportive husband. He doesn't think I need the tt and says he's happy with me the way I am but *I'm* not. I cringe looking in the mirror at my pouch and dressing around my belly. I have never really had a weight problem (although with pregnancy I took "eating for two" to heart and would gain quite a bit but would lose it with breastfeeding and exercise) and was run of the mill so to speak until my last baby and had to have a surgical reconstruction (vaginally...a long story! will explain later).
So it's 4 years later and I have had nothing but serious complications from that awful surgery and it has left me unable to properly work out, among other things. Prior to the surgery I was doing P90x and I lost 70 pounds (I gained it during last pregnancy) and I had never felt better or stronger but I am now left with debilitating back pain and I need a revision ( vaginally,to be done in a few months).
I am confident in my surgeon but I am so afraid of the pain. What have I paid to do to myself? What if my tummy still has this awful pooch and I am still hiding under my clothes? I also feel SO guilty spending this money (which we SO didn't have) on myself to "feel better" and to feel more feminine again.
I have turned our bedroom into a hospital room lol. My husband brought in the recliner and I have all my supplies stacked up and tables close by, I rented a walker, shower seat and I bought a toilet raiser. I sure hope I'm ready for this, I suppose there's no turning back.
I pray that I can remain positive and keep the end result in mind when I am experiencing pain post op. With my back issues I don't tolerate pain easily so this is why I am so fearful.
God Bless all you ladies and especially to Kim, thanks for such a great site! Will post pics later. Please keep me in your prayers.....see you on the flat side

2 days post op and doing pretty well :)

Well, I made it! I can honestly say I thought it would be worse (not that it's not horrible but my vag surgery was WAY worse) The damn cg is awful, I feel like a stuffed sausage and the no underwear thing is already bothering me. It's very painful on my back (not my tummy) sleeping in the recliner. I'm not sure when I can try the bed. Any thoughts on that?
I in no way could have done this without my amazing and wonderful husband. He has been so awesome with everything, from helping me up, taking care of all 3 kids, and last night my youngest woke up vomiting. I'm praying she gets better real soon and doesn't pass it on.
Praise be to God, my saviour and rock.
Will post pics when I'm able. Take care everyone, happy healing

I'm chugging along, slowly