Photos Added! TT and MR - Oakland, CA

Wow, I cant believe I'm writing this after having read so many of your wonderful and inspiring reviews! I am almost 42 yrs old mother of 4. I am 5'1" and weigh 135lbs.

I have never had a flat stomach and always been a little overweight. I gained a lot of additional weight with each of my pregnancies, and although I have lost a great deal of it by dieting and working with a trainer and a nutritionist, I still have the lovely flabby belly that we can all relate to :-/. I am scheduled for a full TT with MR on Monday.

This whole process has been incredibly surreal up until this point. It is hard to believe that this is really happening! I have a very supportive husband. I live in a wonderful community where I work at my kids' school and am very involved. I am fortunate to be surrounded by lots of friends but I just haven't been able to tell more than 1 or 2 people about this surgery. Ive been telling everyone that I am having back surgery, including my kids. I really hate lying but this feels like such a personal issue and I don't want to be viewed as shallow or vain, or to be judged by anyone.

I am worried about the recovery and swelling. I have been keeping a journal to help me get a handle on the emotional roller coaster so far. I've been nesting like a fiend, trying to get the house in good shape and tie up all my loose ends before the holidays. I've filled my prescriptions and purchased my supplies. Tomorrow is my last day at work but Ive already 'checked out' emotionally. Its hard to think about anything else but the surgery!

We've got some holiday parties this weekend so I will be occupied - I am trying my best to avoid getting sick as there are kids around me all day at work and at home, and everyone is coughing and sneezing - ack! Ive been carrying hand sanitized in my purse and taking my vitamins religiously.

My ps doesnt want me to use a binder or a CG at all! I think that's strange since so many of you have used them for weeks. I will have the lovely drains though :-/

I've also been dealing with guilt issues as many of you have. I know I deserve this but its definitely hard feel be ok about spending our savings on this, and worrying about getting through and being healthy and functional once I'm on the 'flat side'.

This board has been amazing! Thank you ladies for all your support. I will continue to chronicle my experience over the next few days and weeks!

Well tomorrow is my big day!! Had a last minute change of plans for childcare for the morning which was a little stressful but I think we've got it worked out. We have to be at the surgery center at 6 AM!
I took the magnesium citrate drink twice - it made me go just once. I'm hoping to have another BM in the morning. My PS wanted me to do a liquid diet all day, but I couldn't do it so I had a small breakfast, soup for lunch and a very light dinner.
I went to my staff holiday gathering but all I had was a ginger ale. As I was pulling out of the driveway I got a call from my PS! I panicked bc I thought he was calling to cancel! But he was just checking in - phew!
I've got everything packed and ready to go. Nerves are so jittery - I hope I can sleep!

On my way to the surgery.center!
It's pouring rain!!
Nervous excited nervous excited!!!