Just call me Houdini... - Oak Lawn, IL

I found this site after becoming obsessed with finding stories of real women who have had experiences with ps. This place has been such a great mix of all types, that I thought I would go ahead and post my story. I am a mother of a 10 year old, I work full time and am in school full time. I've lost weight, a lot of weight. My highest was 365lbs. My lowest was 163lbs. After a much needed blood transfusion, I gained 10-12 additional pounds, but have been pretty much stable throughout my journey. I HATE MY STOMACH. I am tired of sitting with mounds of belly hanging over my lap. I'm tired of lifting it. You can't tell from the pictures, but when I am upright, belly tucked in my pants and a long shirt, my shape is ideal to others, very hourglass. But it's only a façade. Once I sit, or bend, or move, or get undressed, you will see nothing but stomach. I almost never wear dresses, because I can't pull off the same hourglass façade. I want to be able to wear a form fitted dress and not tug, pull and feel insecure about not pulling off the jedi mind tricks. After a year of going back and forth with my insurance company, I received approval to get a panniculectomy (which is the removal of the skin from the lower part of the stomach). That was nice, but because of how much skin and stomach, in my heart of hearts, I wouldn't be happy with that. After speaking with the surgeon, he informed me, that the insurance company already paid for a nights stay at the hospital, I could get a full TT if I paid the difference in the addition of time in the OR. And I was fine with that. 4000.00 is what I paid out of pocket. So now I am on my way. My date is next Tuesday (2/25/2014)! It seems so surreal since I've been going through this for an entire year! I don't know how nervous I will be by next Monday night. But right now I am just in an in-between space of "peace" and the unknown. My significant other supports me because he knows this is what I desire. The few family members that I have disclosed this to have not so great opinions about elective surgery, but overall support me and will be there at the hospital with it. Thank God for that. I have my final pre-op appointment tomorrow. I hope to update after that or before my surgery.

feel a bit nervous now. But they haven't quite hit me just yet. Maybe because up until Friday there was some really miniscule LAST MINUTE insurance BS that I was left out of the loop on and things weren't completely done as I assumed all of this time. For the last 2 weeks, I've been unable to really relax and take in the fact that I was actually having surgery, because I felt like there was always SOMETHING that needed to be done in order to make sure this surgery took place. I'm just a "go getter" type of person. I can't rely on someone else (doctors offices, etc) to be an advocate for me, so I work until I accomplish what I need to. And that's what I have been doing...cleaning up last minute paperwork that was supposed to be handled by my primary care doctor! Whewww....but once I go THAT finalized (and it was REALLY getting down to the wire!!) I literally exhaled a huge sigh a relief and felt at ease. I felt "okay" with relaxing and taking it in. As I mentioned before, I am a full time student as well, so it just so happens that I have my finals the same week of my surgery. So I have been busy busy busy trying to figure out how to accomplish ALL of that work before Tuesday....ummmm...pray for me :) But even THAT is not bringing me down from my ability to finally release and welcome in this surgery! I've worked hard for it and have done my due diligence!
Now, where am I mentally? Let's see...for some reason...I STILL cannot grasp the fact that this skin will be gone. I've lived with it for about 7 years now. I've stood in the mirror, pulled it...lifted it up, yanked it.....but I cannot physically imagine myself without this stomach. I've even "conditioned" myself to believe that they may not be able to get "all" of it, but I'll be happy with most of it being gone. Yes...I know...."get all of it" like that snow pile that my 5'4" frame can never seem to reach at the top of my truck....but I do manage to get the rest of the car, so I'm "happy" with that..lol Trust me, I'm completely in my right mind....it's just one of those things that run through your mind as you prepare for surgery.

I received a call from the hospital today. For the basics, asking me detailed questions about myself for pre-op prep. They even asked if I want to donate my skin. Actually that was the first question and it caught me off guard. But I am definitely donating :)

Anyway, I just wanted to update once more before Tuesday. I appreciate the inboxes and comments. They are all encouraging!

Back to school work I go!

See you on the "flatter" side :-)

Surgery happened at 9:00 am on Tuesday. I still never got that nervous feeling in pit of my stomach. Can you believe that the insurance drama that I mentioned in my previous post came back to haunt me! I spent the entire morning before surgery, fighting with the company because of their mistakes! And was really at risk of this surgery being cancelled :-( So I never really got the chance to get in nervous mode, because a I mentioned, there always seemed a though I had something to do in order to insure it actually happened. Wheww! But, anyway...I made it baby! Hard to believe that im on the.other side! Because my surgeon is so meticulous with his stitching, he told me id be under about 5 hours. That number was the only thing that made my "The Rock" eyebrow raise for a.moment o.O. That seems like such a long time to be under...surgery began at 9:20....the surgeon was out to update my loved ones close to 3:00. Meanwhile I was in recovery and surprisingly very alert...hada great.conversation with the nurse :-)
The pain you asked? First...let me say...im not average and tolerance for pain is rather high. Many of the nurses who visited throughout the and night couldn't believe that I had been up, walked momentarily and sat in a chair. A few things factored into that....for 1....I was very uncomfortable...and in pain....but I had great pain meds. Im not a fan of taking meds at all...but my aunt, who is a nurse, convinced me to take them even atthe slightest sign of discomfort(for a few reasons) and I took heed. Also....I wanted to take zero.chances at developing a blood clot! That drove me to walk. Although the hospital was very preventative with blood clot control,nothing is better than moving your body, if you can.

I spent 1 nd a half days in the hospital. Yesterday's pains rech some heights that had me stalking the pharmacy crew to get my pain meds. I was sent home with pain meds, antibiotics, a softgel to ease my bowel movements and syringes filled with meds to help prevent clots. I have a binder on and my drains.....and im in my trusty recliner! Such a life saver...rent on for your recovery people!

Sorry for the typos, just wanted to quickly update you from my phoneas iI head out to see my surgeon...he removes bandages today...I attached my last before picture (the morning of surgery) and my binder/drain pic.....see you in a few flatter weeks ;-)