bbl search...this is exhausting!!! - New York, NY

Hi guys I haven't been the best at updating my profile It's been such a roller coaster of emotions and healing this is no joke!!!! Anyway, I'm still weak, today is the first day I really tried on anything that wasn't a faja or a grandma pajama -__-. As far as my results, overall, I'm content with the curves, the projection is not so much what I was going for, but then again, I can't ask for miracles, and a surgeon can only work so much magic. I'm just blessed and happy that I'm alive, and that I had my family's support to make it through, because lord knows, it's been TOUGH... And that's an understatement! Would I do it again? No. This [RS bleep] is real. I give all these girls who do this round 2 and round 3 major props, cuz I'm a punk, I thought I was bout it bout it til I tried to get up off that operating bed for the first time... STRAIGHT HELL!!! I thought I saw Jesus.. Anyway, here are updated pics, ill try to give a detailed review later on if you Guys are interested, ill answer as much as I can. Happy healing ladies ;)

awwwww damnnnn.... I'm less than a week away.... [RS bleep] is getting really really real right now! I'm so stressed out, so nervous, I'm packing away all my essentials this weekend for my flight on wednesday, am I really ready? I feel so not myself right now. I've managed to gain 12-15 pounds like Dr. C suggested, and I feel terrible. I can't fit into any of my clothes, especially my pants. My chin has developed its own zip code, and I honestly am dreading seeing my mom (who lives in another city) because she's gonna look at me like I'm crazy! I'm now 165, I've never been at that weight ever, weight gain always goes to my face and then my stomach :( I'm getting super nervous, but I can't turn back now, flight is booked, dr is paid for, and I've already had my job work around my off schedule. I'm trying to be positive but sheesh... so i've been doing what I do best... shop! But this time, I havent been able to purchase anything from my waist below, cuz i have no idea how i'm gonna look! I feel like I'm not as prepared as all the other RS members they really go IN on all the supplies and vitamins, etc. You guys be on point with blood levels, liver levels, like sheesh!! Kudos to you girls who really do your homework!!! I just hope and pray to God he keeps me blanketed with his safety. Well, instead of dropping it like its hot, i'm here on my Mac, looking at my half packed luggage...

ok so... I've been stuffing my face for the past couple of days and I'm honestly so sick of food... wait, did I just say that? I never thought I'd be saying some crazy ish like that because I LOVE food, but this whole weight gain has got me stressing out more than the surgery itself :( I really don't get how I can be at 165-170 (according to the perfect weight for Dr. Cortes) and still look like my wish pics... yes I know the fat will be in all the right places but I cant imagine 15 lbs being on my booty.... I hate this, plus all my life my weight gain has started with my face, I was on the train this morning and I felt my chin doin the Dougie with the turbulence -_________________________- Biggest flat face EVER :( I have to explain to my fam why I'm gaining all this weight fast, and while I'm super open about my surgery, I sound crazy as hell telling them I have to gain weight to lose weight... they lookin at me like I need a psychologist NOT a plastic surgeon.... & is anyone else feeling guilty about this surgery like me?? I mean, I could be doing alot more damn productive things with 9 Gs... liiiiiikkeeeee... GOING TO VEGASSS... I kid. I was thinking more the lines of savings, or even splurging on my mom who is a HOT MILF, but would like a little tuck here and there... (I know that doesnt sound so productive, but she's my best friend and all I want is to see her happy). I feel like she needs it more than me. I feel even worse that my family (my mom, boyfriend, and brother) are soooooooooo supportive of me. Yes I said I feel worse because we are ALL best friends and I hate to put them through such a strenuous time seeing me JACKED UP just cause I wanna drop it like its hottt :((( ok... enough of me being a Negative Nancy.. perhaps I'll feel a lil more up to it as the days pass...