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Sooo...

I disappeared. A lot has happened, some good, some bad. I have A LOT to say about where I am in regards to my feelings about my procedure. They are complicated, and I haven't quite sorted out my feelings about it, which is why I have been avoiding posting. But I'm mad at myself, because I promised I wouldn't do that. So I apologize. And I apologized to all those people who sent messages and reached out. And I am going to write a lengthier recap of my feelings now, at almost a year, very soon, with some photos. This isn't a decision that just goes away as soon as you make it, and you carry some of that indecision with you, even afterwards and it's important to discuss. So I want to.

But hi and sorry I just went away.

2 month, before/after - side by sides!

And some comparison shots, for good measure.

2 month- Giant photo dump!

Hi everyone!

Massive photo upload! These were all taken on October 26, so about two months after surgery. Doctor says I'm at about 75% for results. He's happy, I'm happy. Some lumps and slight unevenness etc that I'm keeping an eye on, but nothing that truly bothers me. Some slight numbness/tightness in the flank area, but that's normal.

So truth be told, I don't have as much time to hang around here anymore, with the job hunting (still on going) etc. But I wanted to keep to my commitment to post semi-regular updates throughout this process. When making my decision/preparing I always appreciated the journals that chronicled 2,3,6 months even a year later.. it helped with the confidence I had in making the decision.

Additionally, I wanted to keep track of some things and photograph some things in the healing process that people don't often photograph or mention, namely scar healing and lose skin. In these photos, you'll see how my lose skin is retracting. It isn't happening as quick as I'd like, but honestly, even if it stayed like this forever, I'd still be super happy with the way my body looks. It is incredibly different - just fitting in clothes, moving about, everything. I don't feel super altered in terms of my body type (still curvy) but I just feel like everything makes sense now.

Unexpected (well, not really, but still surprising and new nonetheless) - OH MY GOD I HAVE A BOOTY. A real life booty. Like.. that's a butt.. not just a flat wide space where my spin ends. I can't believe it. I've never ever had a butt... it's so strange and awesome. But I definitely recommend doing your flanks. it really is where all the visual difference came from.

Also - my boobs definitely have gotten bigger, since 36F wasn't enough.. hahaha. Not quite up a full cup size, but getting close. Admittedly, I knew this might happen. I haven't begun working out again (bad), so I know that will help both with keeping the boobies under control and the skin retraction (also was smoking for a bit again, which is a skin healing no-no, so that's on me).

The scars are becoming much more noticeable on front, which I'm concerned about. I just started treating them with silicone strips, and it does seem to help, so I'll probably stick with that long term. The ones on the back aren't as bad or obvious.

I definitely thought I was done shrinking, bought new jeans, and blew through that size in like two weeks, so now I'm down to a 29 in jeans. Pretty soon I'm gonna be so top heavy, I'll topple over. Weeee.

That's it for me for now - will try to do a clothing update soon!