Feeling very sad over my entire experince, Mount Kisco, NY

Haven't been on in a while..Still in the same position...Have been looking online at doctors. I am so scared to trust anyone.. I am afraid of history repeating itself... I get so stressed when I have to address this topic..I haven't been eating, lost weight and I haven't been sleeping...and not eating or sleeping is taking toll on me, physically and mentally...I am mentally drained... I want to thank eveyone has ever taken the time to write to me :) thank you... I love this wesite...it really helps to conect people...Thank you realself...someone on here had a tummy tuck by my doctor... I would like so much to see her pictures..I asked her to share pictures..nothing yet...she was happy with her tummy tuck work...I think there are some people on here who might find it interesting as well... to see my results and hers...from the same doctor... one who was happy with her out come and one who is not... I think to myself she is lucky...lucky to have had a good experience and be happy with her results... I just hope so so so much that when I do have my revision work done.. I will be pleased...I hope I end up with a caring and talented doctor who will be able to fix me... and not just take my money.... Hope what I have written makes sence...mentally tired...my thoughts are every where.. I try to think positive about everything..I tell myself...ok your results aren't great...but they are not the worst...it could have ended up worse...I am trying so hard...

I want to say that I think this website is wonderful and much needed. I think that we as patients need to get more reviews out there about our doctors in order to help other patients. I think it is sad that I can find more reviews on a foundation, hair dye or a flat iron I am considering buying then a doctor that I am considering using for my body. We as patients should get more information out there about the doctors that we have used in order for us to have a better idea of which doctors are giving their patients their very best before a procedure, during a procedure and after a procedure. We want to know which doctors have the highest rate for patient procedure satisfaction. I know that not every single patient from every doctor will write a review but if a majority did we certainly would have a better idea. If there are doctors out there not doing was is right and in the best interest of their patients then we as patients should be informed. I think it is so sad that people can take the time out of there day to write about something like a face cream but not a doctor whether its good or bad. I love this website and I will be encouraging people to use it.
I am feeling a bit down. I was on the website TMZ and there was a picture of Nicki Minaj and she was in a bathing suit and she had some cellulite, well someone wrote a comment that she looked deformed. I thought if someone thinks she looks deformed I can only think of what they would say about me. I am still looking at doctors. I am just so scared. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have never used my doctor. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking about my experience and I am not just taking about my surgical results. I wonder sometimes that I had three surgical procedures with her and all three need a revision and I think why couldn't at least one come out to where I didn't need a revision. :(

I would first like to thank and apologize to everyone who took the time out of there day to write to me. I am sorry that I have not written back. There are so many times that I have a hard time coping with this topic and I try to push it out of my mind. I am trying very hard to have a better outlook on things. I still don't look in the mirror when I am getting dressed. I still don't want to look. On the positive side. I don't think of myself as disfigured anymore. yes, my breasts are uneven and have different shapes and my belly button is not centered on my body but I will not use that word to describe myself any longer. I saw pictures of people who were severely burned on there body. Yes, my body looks odd and when I watch tv and see on the internet the media describing some celebrities who had cosmetic surgery as bad, botched and plastic surgery disasters and I saw some of the pictures and they weren't even that bad. For instance Tara Reid"s breast. She had some healing issues around her areola.It really didn't look bad. If the media calls that botched and bad. I wonder what they would say if she had her belly button not centered on her body like mine is or breasts like mine. I saw those pictures of those burn victims and no my body is not right. But I will not use that word to describe my body any longer. I am not disfigured, those poor, poor, poor people are :( although I am sure that there are people out there who would describe me as that... I am proud and happy that I won't and refuse use that word to describe myself... I am glad that I had this realization about myself and my body.Like I said I still refuse to look at myself in the mirror.I don't want to look. I am still feeling depressed over my experience. I don't regret having surgery. I would do it again minus the breast implants. I just would have picked a different doctor. The reason I wouldn't do my breasts again is because for instance I have snoopy dog deformity on my left breast and bottoming out on my right. I was told by a doctor that I needed more then just breast implants but I would have needed a lift as well. If I knew that I would have not had touched my breasts. I did ask my surgeon and she told me that I did not need it. So, now to properly fix myself I need a lift :( so I have to have a procedure done that I would never have had done to begin with not happy about that.


:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I am NOT disfigured!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)