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Update on my thoughts
Today I'm feeling a bit better. It's not the end of the world and this site has calmed me down a bit. I've decided to wait it out for a couple of months and to start saving up in the meantime. If I still despise it then I will start removal. I think me freaking out has a lot to do with all the other things that is happening in my life and this tattoo was the last straw that made me feel really bad about myself. I hope the feeling of ok-ness will continue.
I've always loved tattoos. I got my first tattoo...
I've always loved tattoos. I got my first tattoo when I was 19, a subtle tattoo on my thigh. Two months ago I decided to get my second tattoo. I've admired sternum tattoos for a long time so that was gonna be the placement. I researched different tattoo artists and found one I liked who was good at mandala and dotwork which was what I wanted. I went to the shop, showed some pictures of designs I liked and got an appointment scheduled for six days later. On the day I went to the shop and she had come up with a design and when I looked at it I thought 'oh this is beautiful' and my friend thought the same. I got it done and it looked good but as soon as I got home I started feeling weird and pointing out flaws in it. The next day I was completely devastated. I couldn't stop thinking about how I didn't like it on my body, my stomach is probably my favourite part of my body and now I've ruined it. The design doesn't really compliment my body like I wanted it to and it doesn't look anything like the designs I showed the artist. It's been three weeks now and I keep trying to make myself like it and tell myself that it's a big permanent change and that I need to get used to it being there and that if I got more tattoos it would look better and more well put together but that would be like fighting fire with fire. I just want it gone. I'm a student so the money is tight but I will do anything for it to disappear from my body. I literally can't think about anything else, I've cried about it several times. I don't want anyone to see me without clothes on ever again, it has made me hate tattoos (on myself). I can't tell anyone about it because you're supposed to love a tattoo you just got and I feel like my family would be like 'you did this to yourself, deal with it'. But I didn't think I would feel this way at all.