Been wanting a rhino for 3 years. It draws too...
Been wanting a rhino for 3 years. It draws too much attention and looks pretty weird. Recently also figured out that my case is very hard, because the whole tip has to be rebuilt, instead of a relatively easy hump shaving. I've had 2 consults this far but decided the surgeons in the netherlands aren't good enough for my case. I only have 1 change to spend my money and first rhino and it has to go well obviously. It's a very tough and depressing journey but i'm slowly advancing.. now decided i will go either USA, Turkey, Germany or Nolst-Trenite in the netherlands.
I would be so grateful if anyone has insights or remarks on my story. And good luck to anyone reading this and going trough the same process.
So hard to decide on surgeon!!
At first i considered nolst trenite and noorman vd dussen. But mainly because the lack of online revuews i have to pass up on them.
Then i considered dr. Denenberg (usa) and Iran, but i dont really have a good feeling about either. Iran seems to have little experienxe with overprojection, rather humps and tip rotation, two things i dont want.
Right now i am looking into dr. Menger and dr. Lucian Ion,and right now the latter seems to be the best choice.
Some before pictures
Funny how different your nose looks, not just lighting and angles but also just how big the picture is on your screen. And this is only a 13% reduction, but for me it looks like it's a 50% reduction, just because it draws so much less attention. But a smaller reduction is fine too because more facial hair will even it out more i think.
More confident in my surgeon choice
I only know about Lucian Ion for a week, but i'm already pretty sure i am going to choose him. I have consult this tuesday and will plan one or two additional ones just for the experience, and ofcourse will plan a consult with Mr. Ion.
I also looked in Iranian surgeons but decided against it. One particular surgeon quoted me 2700$, while very attractive in price he only had one overprojected case amongst tens of hump reductions. I just find it hard to believe Iranian (and Korean) surgeons have good skills for overprojection, because of their ethnic noses. This surgeon also said he will use grafting for my low radix.. i was amazed because that's obviously not the case and i absolutely don't want grafts.. lol.
I also have so many pictures.. hard to choose one because the sizes look so different. This one looks pretty good, but i have others taken of me in public where i look much worse. I am lucky to have amazing hair that does a good job of making it look less bad. Which is also the main reason why i would consider not have surgery.. because i feel like an ungrateful little b!tch.. but yolo haha.
Dr. D.J. Menger
This is a very attractive choice due to his price and location, and on his website there were a few very nice overprojected nose results which is exactly what i want. A consult is planned very soon which will be my 3rd one. This year is crazy.. had to make decision whether i want a nosejob or not (done), which surgeon, which study for next year, and where i'm going to study (done). Decision time!
Consult Dirk Jan Menger
Had consult with Dirk Jan Menger this morning.. i don't have a good feeling about it, specifically his attitude. Which resembled Nolst-Trenite's attitude. Such a shame, because i do believe in his skills and he has amazing before/after pictures. But these two (in my perception) don't really pay attention to my wishes. Even if they are the most skilled in the world, if they don't listen to my wishes and do what they want i have to decline.
Noorman van der Dussen is very tempting, as he is by far the friendliest surgeon i've met and examined my nose very thouroughly, whereas Nolst and Menger briefly looked at it.
Now is the choice between Lucian Ion and Noorman van der Dussen. It's very tempting to choose Noorman because his price is half of Ion's price and train trip only takes 1.5 hours, and the operation can be done much sooner. Last time they didn't have time to show before/after pictures so i will go one more time to Noorman, and then decide whether i wait for Ion or just do it. So confused and depressed if i will make the right choice. Even if i do, i want nothing more than to leave all this behind me. It is so emasculating and i absolutely hate it but it has to be done. Blergh i feel terrible wish it was over already.
This will probably be my last update for a while. I just called with Ion's office and i have a consult late february. If he won't get busier i estimate i have my surgery in August/September right before my school starts.
Such a long time.. but at least i can work enough to get in a financial better position. I just wish i had done everything sooner but well. I'm happy about my decision though.. the three dutch/belgian surgeons are really skilled but i absolutely can't risk a revision and since money shouldn't be an issue i have to go with the better choice.
Post OP update - Accepting life is a neverending struggle
I've visited Lician Ion and while i'm sure he can definitely improve my nose a lot and is one of the most skilled in the world, i've decided against a rhinoplasty.
Over the past months i've been thinking a lot about how weakness, femininity, body dismorphic disorder, perfectionism and self hate have created a tunnel vision which destroyed my life in the past few years. I am amazed how ridiculous it is for me to think people (after noticing it in the first place) would judge me negatively for it, or how it would decrease female sexual attraction for me. Worst of all is that i'm such a whiny lazy kid who can't be happy with what he's got (a lot, that is). For one, i'm a guy and for guys it is not only much less worse (big nose is masculine afaik), we can also cover it up way better with haircut or facial hair. This is basically a decision which means my life will never be perfect and it is an neverending struggle, although the perfectionist in my wanted to believe otherwise.
Some other questions i asked myself:
- Do i really want to be fake? How can i ever explain this to my kids? To my family? To my future gf?
- What would be more beautiful, to overcome your evil nature trough effort, or to opt for the easy route?
- It it really bothering me? Or is it more a general line of thinking in which i can't accept my flaws, or love me for who i really am?
- What would be better, a feminine or masculine choice? What about "playing the hand you've been dealt"? Do you even realize how of a tiny influence a big nose really is in your day-to-day life? It is a very small part of you.
- Why exactly do you think a big nose is ugly? Other/past societies actually view it as beautiful. Are you entirely sure your negativity towards it itsn't influenced by other people?
But enough about my little silly story. I wish everyone reading this a lot of luck with whatever life choices they have decided to make.
I'm just so afraid i will ever lose this fight and still go for a surgery, or that it will hold me back in any kind of way.. but alas.
Over the past 8 months i pretty much got rid of my severe BDD. Mostly by thinking about it, reading the BDD book, supressing BDD urges and sort of bully myself for having BDD. Not sure how i managed to do it so quickly as it was a very severe form of BDD. But i feel very lucky and grateful, even though i actually got more depressed by how much i am behind in career, social skills, love life.. i pretty much have to start by zero in these three areas. And i have leftover mental problems that i've analyzed and also trying to get rid of. It is going pretty well, i am extremely amazed by the power of the human brain. How we can change our paradigm, thoughts and behaviour by rational thinking and willpower.
My future dreams are to find love, i've waited so long for it. To get very strong mentally, socially and have a successful career. And to raise my children way better than my father did, i was pretty much left alone by him. No interest from him and only hateful remarks.
Wish everybody reading this a lot of luck in finding peace and love or other goals!