Implant Removal 2 Months After Breast Augmentation - Netherlands

I had my breast augmentation - 295cc, partial unders (I'm 37, 130lbs, 5'4") just over a month ago, and from the moment I woke up from the operation I knew that I hated the feeling of the implants inside me. Some of it was the weight on my chest, the tightness of my chest and another part of it was this overwhelming feeling of "what the hell have I done to myself?!?!". For the first week after the operation I couldn't stop crying - I felt so down and that came as a complete shock to me....after all, I'd been wanting this operation for the last ten years and now that I'd completed my family I decided that it was time to put my body back together after breast feeding my 4 beautiful children - so I couldn't understand why I felt so sad after my BA! I spoke to my wonderful husband about it and my mum, who both convinced me that I was just suffering the effects of the anesthesia and that in no time at all I would be feeling great and back myself again.

At my 1 week appointment with the nurse to remove my plasters covering where my drains had been, I mentioned how I was feeling and was told that it was very unusual to be feeling how I did, but that it typically takes 3 weeks for most women to feel great about their new boobs. I left feeling like an idiot, but thought that if everyone was telling me I'd feel fine about the new boobs in a couple of weeks, then I would just wait it out and see.

My 2 week post op appointment to have the plasters off of the incision sites went fine - physically I healed really fast. Again I was asked how I felt - be so I told her about the major anxiety, not sleeping, difficult to focus on anything else when all I could think about was how I hated the feeling of the implants inside of me. Not good when you've got 4 kids to look after! I was told to make an appointment to see the ps - but that I could only call for an appointment in April when they have his new schedule.

So here I am, in the early hours if the morning, one month and one day post op, unable to sleep again because all I can think about is getting my implants removed ASAP so that I can get on with healing my body and getting back on with my life, and being back to my normal happy, busy, energetic self again! I think I will call tomorrow to see if I can make an appointment with my ps sooner rather than later....fingers crossed they have his appointment schedule.

One thing I forgot to mention is that I think my ps did an amazing job - he did everything that I asked him to. The size is exactly what I wanted (I went from a 34a to a 34c), and they look very in proportion to my build/ frame. I look great - but just don't feel great unfortunately. I miss my slightly saggy 34a boobs tremendously - I just hope I don't have to wait too long to remove these so that I minimize the damage of having them in my body. Sorry for rambling somewhat - I just need a place to talk about it with people who will understand.

So today my husband told me that in the 15 years we have been married, he's never known me to cry so much as I have since getting the implants. I guess he realizes the impact they are having on me emotionally after all. He did say he wants to enjoy them while I still have them - only trouble is, half of my right breast is still numb so it's not doing much for me! Does anyone know if the numbness is permanent - will it improve once I explant? Just curious as I am fully prepared for the numbness to be a permanent thing - it's a risk I knew about before getting implants.
The other thing my hubby said was that he can see just how tired I have been (I'm usually asleep by 9pm which is so not like me) - I still have trouble sleeping comfortably in any position and wake several times a night because I can't get comfortable in any position! Anyway, am counting down the days til I can call and make my appt with my PS.
Will try to upload some pics of what the implants look like over the weekend.....

Since having my breast augmentation almost 5 weeks ago, I have only spoken to my mum about it once - within the first week when I couldn't stop crying and was super emotional about what I had done to my body! Anyway, like I said previously - my mum put how I was feeling down to the trauma of surgery and the anesthetic after effects. Well today my mum has been asking how I am and so I told her that I still feel uncomfortable, that I am not sleeping well due to being uncomfortable and that I hate the way they feel. I told her that I would be making an appointment to see my PS next week to talk about where I go from here. Instead of supporting me and trying to understand and telling me that I should follow my heart and do what is best for me she said that she feels a little uncomfortable still with some cosmetic dentistry work she had done a few months ago, but that she puts up with it because she knows they look good and so I should do the same! It made me so upset that she even compared the two. My implants are affecting how I live my life - how I sleep, what activities I do, how I play with my children..... I'm not prepared to put up with how they feel and how they negatively impact my life just because they look good! She also reminded me that when I had the ba that I knew there would be upkeep operations in the future (which I did) and that I should effectively just get on with a life with implants (my sister has them and has never had any problems and has always loved them - she's had them for 10 yrs now...). I told her that I have two options right now - put up with them and see how I feel about them in a few months time, or take them out in a few weeks / two months time (depending on what my PS agrees to) and just get on with my life. Once again I was told that I should just be happy and that life's too short to worry about any possible complications.
Needless to say I called my husband straight after feeling very upset and he was wonderful. Totally calmed me down - and understood the inner turmoil that I'm going through right now. At one point today I even thought - maybe I should just try to get used to the implants, try to embrace them - maybe that's all I need to do to feel better about this whole sorry situation? But now, as I sit here and my mind is being rational again, I think - it's my body, I need to do what's right for me. I need to do what is right for my peace of mind and my long term happiness. It doesn't matter what others think (when I do explant I'm sure my mom and sisters will think I'm totally crazy).
So with this in mind I feel stronger again, and hope that I can see my PS soon to talk about explanting, even though my mom thinks that talking things thru with him will magically make me feel better about the implants and that he will be able to convince me that how I feel is normal and that it will pass in time. Feeling a bit sad today and I so can't wait for my appointment with my PS because right now I feel like my life is on hold and that I'm totally in limbo. Kinda sucks :-(