Losin It!!!

I met with my PS a few weeks ago and got a quote for the full Mommy Makeover to help fill out my breasts which look great as long as I have Vicky's Secret. I went in thinking I needed a Tummy Tuck with corseting and lipo. My background includes scars from a C-section, a vertical scar from a complicated Gallbladder surgery, and port scars from the Gallbladder. I was excited to hear that my PS did not think I needed any corseting and that my core is strong, I just have a lot of loose skin from weight loss. After a lot of thinking I decided to schedule the TT with lipo as planned since I don't have bad breasts and never really planned on changing them. I am scheduled for July 27th and cannot wait! The down side is just having surgery in the summer but I just do not want to wait another minute.

Now, I am in need of details...I am a planner and I work in health care so I want to know all the details that my PS hasn't told me yet. What do I do preop? What to buy, where to get it, when I can work out again, etc.

My only fears are that the scar will be too high to hide and that after its all over it will be such a slight change I wont be able to really see the results. I know that there is no guarantees or way to predict the outcome, I tell my own patients that all the time, but uggghhh. I already have scars on the stomach and it would be great if they go away but I just want a flat stomach and no muffin top if possible (without a really obvious new scar). I also wonder if they pull my stomach so tight will my privates pull up to my bellybutton??? Please enlighten me!

So today I started a really severe diet to try to loose as much as possible before surgery. My thinking is that the looser the skin the more my PS can tighten it up...however, I hate dieting! Just 4 weeks til surgery so I have the goal in sight.

Now all I can think about is will I be able to go back to work in 2 weeks? When can I start to work out? How soon before you can swim? I have a cruise planned in October and definitely dont want to be limited on the cruise or look terrible. I really wish I had a PS buddy who is going through all of this too so that I can whine and question and just go through all the emotions of surgery. Ugh, I am posting the worst pics...not even in my cute undies but they don't really look that cute with this body anyways. Don't judge, :)

I am finding it very hard to focus on anything else. I am disappointed that I have not lost as much as I would have liked to but life got in the way and by life I mean 4th of July weekend and too much fun with friends and family. My Pre-Op appt is Tuesday and I am sooo ready to get this show going. I have not had any hesitations at all with the exception of worrying about the financial aspects of spending so much money when I know it would be smarter to wait.

However, my boyfriend sat down beside me a little bit ago and saw some post op pics. His reaction really has me worried. I mean, I can handle to pain and discomfort (after all I have lived through two kids). My BF has not lived with either. He has never had children or surgery before. He had no idea that I would have drain tubes and stitches and swelling...not exactly sure what he thought would happen but the pics were much more that he imagined. So, now I am stressing. My daughter will be here to help me right after surgery and I know that I am a pretty good patient so recovery isn't the issue. My concern is that this isn't my husband or life partner that has been there forever. He hasn't had life altering changes to his life and therefore no idea how to support someone going through them. I know that he is patient and kind and thoughtful on most things. Obviously my physical appearance has not run him off so I really should not be worried but deep inside there is still that seed of doubt that worries about such a big ugly scar. After it is healed up it will be fine, I have scars now, but for the next several months seeing me naked...

Other than that, I am ready and wish that the surgery was this Thursday and not next Thursday! I am sad that I couldn't afford the whole Mommy Makeover but I can always wait a few years and then touch up the other areas if I still feel like they are needed. In between I feel like getting this extra skin off will help me be even more motivated to change my lifestyle. I pray every day that I will have good results. My biggest fear is that my scar will be too high. I look at these pics and some look amazing after just a few weeks and others look smoother but swollen for a long time. I hope my dr will pull me so tight that it takes me a month to walk upright. He doesn't think I need muscle repair but I think it could only help so why not? I'd love to be laced a little tighter even if it is painful. I want results and am willing to feel like I was hit by a mack truck. Am I crazy?