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Well, here I am, starting a blog like I wish I had...
Well, here I am, starting a blog like I wish I had years ago. I wish I could go back and read my thoughts from December 25th - yes, Christmas!- in 2011. That was the day I decided I was going to lose 10 lbs. Yes - 10 lbs - not 110 lbs. At the time, I only wanted to lose the weight I had gained during the job I had started 5 months prior.
Today I gave my plastic surgeon's practice $300 to hold my surgery date. It almost seems real now. I am going to let them slice me open, hip to hip, and pull off this terrible roll of skin that has been plaguing me for what seems like forever. Even while I was in college, around 210-220 lbs, I remember being sad when it went from "hoodie" season (spring) to "t-shirt" season (summer) because my hoodies would hide my tummy.
Today I sat down with my surgeon for the 2nd time. He was the first surgeon I had met with and, after 5 other consultations, I had a list of questions I wanted to ask to make sure he was "THE ONE." Needless to say, he is, and he will be cutting into me on February 7th, 2014.
February 7th will be my 30th birthday. Yes, happy birthday to me, please pass the 10-blade. Cake? No thanks, I'll be having a protein shake if anything. But it's okay - I can have my birthday party the night before - oh wait, I'm going on a liquid diet at that point. And when I get back from my next trip on December 8th I'm going to be laser focused on losing as much weight as possible, so my awesome party will likely consist of a Sharks game and a salad. Sounds like the verdict is that this will be a very boring - and stressful - birthday. At least I get a new body as a present :)
I am terrified. Excited, but terrified. What if I don't wake up? What if something weird happens during surgery and I bleed out? So many times on Grey's Anatomy an otherwise normal surgery winds up going wrong... (Yes, referencing Grey's Anatomy makes me feel silly...)
I'm also worried that I'll have a complication, even though my surgeon's record is excellent. I worry that my scar will be too high, even though my surgeon seems to have some great scar results. I worry I'll gain the weight back and stretch my skin out again - something that I realize is completely in my control.
I find myself lost in the tummy tuck blogs and reviews online in the middle of my work day - not good, since it keeps me in the office later with legitimate work that needs to be finished. I play with my skin almost every night. Lift it up, pressing it down, trying to imagine what I'd look like without it. Well, there is only one way to know.
Today I gave my plastic surgeon's practice $300 to hold my surgery date. It almost seems real now. I am going to let them slice me open, hip to hip, and pull off this terrible roll of skin that has been plaguing me for what seems like forever. Even while I was in college, around 210-220 lbs, I remember being sad when it went from "hoodie" season (spring) to "t-shirt" season (summer) because my hoodies would hide my tummy.
Today I sat down with my surgeon for the 2nd time. He was the first surgeon I had met with and, after 5 other consultations, I had a list of questions I wanted to ask to make sure he was "THE ONE." Needless to say, he is, and he will be cutting into me on February 7th, 2014.
February 7th will be my 30th birthday. Yes, happy birthday to me, please pass the 10-blade. Cake? No thanks, I'll be having a protein shake if anything. But it's okay - I can have my birthday party the night before - oh wait, I'm going on a liquid diet at that point. And when I get back from my next trip on December 8th I'm going to be laser focused on losing as much weight as possible, so my awesome party will likely consist of a Sharks game and a salad. Sounds like the verdict is that this will be a very boring - and stressful - birthday. At least I get a new body as a present :)
I am terrified. Excited, but terrified. What if I don't wake up? What if something weird happens during surgery and I bleed out? So many times on Grey's Anatomy an otherwise normal surgery winds up going wrong... (Yes, referencing Grey's Anatomy makes me feel silly...)
I'm also worried that I'll have a complication, even though my surgeon's record is excellent. I worry that my scar will be too high, even though my surgeon seems to have some great scar results. I worry I'll gain the weight back and stretch my skin out again - something that I realize is completely in my control.
I find myself lost in the tummy tuck blogs and reviews online in the middle of my work day - not good, since it keeps me in the office later with legitimate work that needs to be finished. I play with my skin almost every night. Lift it up, pressing it down, trying to imagine what I'd look like without it. Well, there is only one way to know.
Another first - first bikini EVER!
So here is something you don’t really think about when you decide to have a tummy tuck – that first bikini is closer than you realize.
My doctor told me I should wear a bikini bottom when I arrive for surgery so they can mark my skin around it. He wants to make sure the scar will be hidden under those bottoms.
I went to the trusty Land’s End website, where I have been buying swimsuits for years and years. I have some serious boobs (34 DDD) and their one-piece and tankini swimsuits offered cup sizing and enough support to keep me happy. It turns out their bikinis… well, not so much.
With the droopiness in the skin, I have trouble staying in bras and evidently, bikini tops. I need a high “gore” (underwire rise in the center) to keep them in place. Otherwise they drift out of the cups and to the middle. So after trying 2 styles of what seemed like the most likely to fit and 3 different sizes, I gave up on Land’s End, at least for now, and headed to the mall.
So there I was, trying on bikini tops in a dressing room – that was a “never though I’d ever be doing this” moment and finally found one that worked for me. The catch? It was $80! For the tiniest piece of clothing I may ever buy! So I skipped out of there and spent that night trying to find the same top for cheaper online. No dice – the designer must fix prices. So, tonight I went back, tried it on again to make sure it was THE ONE and bought is – $87 after tax. It better get a lot of wear. (I skipped out on the $50 bottoms. It’s a plain back top so I’ll grab a plain black bottom at Target to get marked up in. Then I can go buy that same black Target bottom in the right size after surgery.
My doctor told me I should wear a bikini bottom when I arrive for surgery so they can mark my skin around it. He wants to make sure the scar will be hidden under those bottoms.
I went to the trusty Land’s End website, where I have been buying swimsuits for years and years. I have some serious boobs (34 DDD) and their one-piece and tankini swimsuits offered cup sizing and enough support to keep me happy. It turns out their bikinis… well, not so much.
With the droopiness in the skin, I have trouble staying in bras and evidently, bikini tops. I need a high “gore” (underwire rise in the center) to keep them in place. Otherwise they drift out of the cups and to the middle. So after trying 2 styles of what seemed like the most likely to fit and 3 different sizes, I gave up on Land’s End, at least for now, and headed to the mall.
So there I was, trying on bikini tops in a dressing room – that was a “never though I’d ever be doing this” moment and finally found one that worked for me. The catch? It was $80! For the tiniest piece of clothing I may ever buy! So I skipped out of there and spent that night trying to find the same top for cheaper online. No dice – the designer must fix prices. So, tonight I went back, tried it on again to make sure it was THE ONE and bought is – $87 after tax. It better get a lot of wear. (I skipped out on the $50 bottoms. It’s a plain back top so I’ll grab a plain black bottom at Target to get marked up in. Then I can go buy that same black Target bottom in the right size after surgery.
Before & After Weight Loss Pics
265 lbs to 155 lbs
December 2011 to July 2013
December 2011 to July 2013