I Hate my Implants! Montreal, QC

I've been reading many explant stories on this...

I've been reading many explant stories on this website. They have given me so much hope that I could look normal again without these ugly balls stucked on my chest. I'm 44 years old, and as long I remember, I never liked my breasts. As a teenager, I was a bit overweight and my breast became huge. At 23, I was a very saggy 36E, so I decided to get a reduction and lift. I asked for a B cup and got it. I've been happy wih my outcome for many years after...until I had my two daughters and breastfed them both, I had nothing left, I wasn't even filling out an A cup. So, in 2001, at age 31, I went back to the same PS who did my reduction and asked for small natural implants. Again, I got 275cc saline and I was very happy with the result. But then the problems began. I developped CC in my left breast only a month post op, and had 2 more surgeries to get it fixed in the following year. 

I also became very ill the first months post op, strange things were happening in my body and no doctors could find out what was going on....I had brain fog, chronic fatigue, pain everywhere in my body, swollen lymph nodes, low grade fever, chronic bladder infectionsdry and red eyes, throat problems, migraines....and many other weird symptoms.....I got to a point where I couldn't get up and take care of my 2 babies, thanks to my mom who have helped me so much during this period. This happened within the first year after I got my implants. After a while, it seems that my body has been able to fight the illness and over the next years, many symptoms dissappeared and I learned to live with the chronic fatigue, migraines and some other symptoms that I am still experiencing after all those years. 

I kept my first set of implants for 12 years and liked them until they started to bottom out. In 2013, I went to a new PS for a revision. He was very renowned and I had full confidence in his skills. He was going to put permanent internal stitches on the sides to prevent the implants to fall bak to the sides and he also suggested to replace my old implants with new ones, slightly bigger, to fill out the space in between my breast. He was going to choose the volume during the surgery....that's when the nightmare began again. I woke up with 450cc saline on my tiny frame, I am 5'3, 115 pounds, and these huge balloons made me look ridiculous. I kept them for only 5 months and got them exchanged for 275cc saline again, just like my first ones...but he filled them out to 300cc. At first I thought I would like them but I don't. I still feel too big and ridiculous with these hard balls on my chest. They are very high and feel hard as rocks. They feel like bullets stucked on my chest and I hate them. I have bad scars on each side because of the capsullorraphy (internal stitches to correct bottoming out). They will never look natural as my old implants did and I want them out. I will meet 2 different surgeons at the end of August. Until this week, I realise a small part of me was still considering replacing them with very small implants. But now my mind is made up and I am going to explant without replacement. I might be getting a lift if needed, but I am still undecided about it. I would prefer waiting a year and see how my body heals. Here are some pics.

Some things I forgot to mention

I firgot to mention that I also have pain in my left breast. I saw my PS last month and he said it was not cc, he does?t think the pain is related to the implants. When I tried to talk to him about downsizing or removal he just laughed at me and said I would be left with empty bags of loose skin... So I'm not going back with this surgeon and will meet 2 others at the end of August. I just ca?t wait! If I could have them out today, I would! I went shopping testerday for a dress but ended up crying because every dress I tried on made me look ridiculous and top heavy. I want to thank all the ladies on Realself who have shared their explant stories, you are my inspiration and give me so much hope! I am so scared of the outcome...

Feeling so sad today :(

Today I'm not feeling good... We are going camping and I've been trying on my bathing suits and none of them fits right :( I look top heavy and ridiculous in all of them. It seems that these things have grown since last year... I am so sad thay I have spent so much money for nothing and also for all I have done to my poor breasts. Ca?t stop crying this morning....

Thank you

Thank you to the ones who replied to my last post a few weeks ago. I ended up having a great time at the camping but I chose to avoid wearing a bathing suit, it was cold anyway. I'm still waiting patiently for my apps with surgeons. I keep going back and forth about the idea of getting a lift or not. A small part of me is also still thinking about getting smaller implants in case I end up deformed. All this journey is such an emotional roller coaster!

Saw PS #1 today

I finally had my 1st PS appointment today. I liked the way this surgeon explained things very well and answered all my questions. Also liked that he didn't try to push me into getting implant replacement. He said that I have good skin quality and that it should retract very well if I choose to explant and he also reassured me that I won't need a lift. I am very happy with all he said, but let's wait for PS#2's opinion. I have my app 2nd PS on Septembre 4th....

Consultation with PS#2 today :(

I had my consultation with PS#2 today and I am a bit disapp(150cc). He told me that with explant only, I would probably not be happy and if I get the smaller implants and I don't like them he would to take them out for free...?? He also said that I would have a bunch of loose skin at the bottom of my breast and if I explant, I would have to go back a few months later to take off that loose skin...?? His opinion was so different from PS#1 that I am very mixed up now, and not sure what to do anymore. He offered to deflate them on the surgery day so I could see what it looks like with the loss of volume ant take my decision....I would prefer to have them deflated at least a week before surgery, so I could see what they look like in clothes and I could see some improvements...I was so sad when I got out of his office that I cried all the way home. Then I decided to take a second appointmentn with PS#1, to discuss more about deflate and explant. I will see him again on September 15th, I hope he can reassure me and I can book a date for my explant surgery with him...I am so scared now that I won't be able to live with the outcome... PS#2 scared me a lot today...

Part of my review is missing

Oops, a part of my review is missing!

Consultation with PS#2 today :( - Corrected

I had my consultation with PS#2 today and I am a bit disappointed. As soon as I said the word "explant" he started to try to convince me to get smaller implants(150cc) instead. He told me that with explant only, I would not be happy and if I get the smaller implants and I don't like them he would to take them out for free...?? He also said that I would have a bunch of loose skin at the bottom of my breast and if I explant, I would have to go back a few months later to take off that loose skin...?? His opinion was so different from PS#1 that I am very mixed up now, and not sure what to do anymore. He offered to deflate them on the surgery day so I could see what it looks like with the loss of volume and make my decision....I would prefer to have them deflated at least a week before surgery, so I could see what they look like in clothes and I could see some improvements...I was so sad when I got out of his office that I cried all the way home. Then I decided to take a second appointment with PS#1, to discuss more about deflate and explant. I will see him again on September 15th, I hope he can reassure me and I can book a date for my explant surgery with him...I am so scared now that I won't be able to live with the outcome... PS#2 scared me a lot today...

Moving on with my decision

I finally decided to move on and called PS #1 office to get a second consultation. I needed to confirm what this surgeon told me on the first consultation and I still have some more questions to ask. I also have scheduled a date for deflation on November 12th. Removal will be proccessed on the following week (November 19th) unless I decide to skip the deflation step and go for a straight removal on the 12th. I bought this bra at Walmart, for after expant.... now that the date is booked, it is starting to become more real....
Was this review helpful? {{ voteCountOthers + ' other' + (voteCountOthers == 1 ? '' : 's') }} found this helpful