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Final thoughts: Update on my decision

Yes... four days after purchasing everything I'd need for pampering my skin after starting zapping treatments: Exactly! I changed my mind once again.

At the end I've opted for not removing it with laser. Not now, at least.

I think this tattoo has caused me stress enough already. I am 19 years only and well, I made a mistake, but life goes on. As do time. I'm having really high hopes for this canadian med student, Alec Falkenham, who is developing a cream for tattoo removal which would actually work as it has a whole new science behind (Bisphosphonate Liposomal Tattoo Removal). Since it is still on research phase, and it is going to take some years for human testing and FDA approving, I really don't mind waiting for it. I do believe it is going to reach the market some day (if not, I don't see why the media would be already announcing it) Actually it's a miracle this is happening! I see this as a blessing, just when I happened to make my blatant mistake, technology comes into play and saves the day. Realistically, it would take up to 4 years to see significant fading on my tattoo, being new and with deep ink. I know I would end with a ghost image, and I don't plan on a cover up, so instead of waiting precious years for this painful process to end, I rather wait for the cream. Like I said, it just seems logical to me to foresee it hit the market. Right now I have more important things to focus on, I will enter college and look for a job. Certainly not the best time to do any lasering. Worst case scenario, cream's never released and I have had saved enough money by that time to start laser treatments, with my tattoo already being older and faded.

Long story short, I simply thought I shouldn't let this ink take my life away -and you shouldn't either! Please please please think really carefully before starting laser treatments (or tattooing in first place) By this time I've done tons of research, read many reviews and came to the conclusion that laser removal works best when you have a coverup idea, which is definitely not my case. Not worth the pain, not worth the cost, and not worth the wait. BUT! If you have a small, lightly placed black tattoo you don't like, I'd defo go for it! I am not against laser treatments but advising before you commit to it! At the end of the day some ink doesn't define who you are, so don't waste much time being depressed on it! In fact, get out of here and go enjoy your life :)

Thanks for reading and best of luck to everyone

Aftercare haul! Any other suggestions will be much appreciated ~

Hello again!
So... I know there are quite few weeks left until I get my first treatment, but I couldn't help going shopping for the aftercare already.

For initial care I got Aquaphor and this zinc oxide paste "Pasta de Lassar" which says it's targeted for burns's and wounds's itchiness (also, I read zinc oxide prevents lighting from entering your skin, so even though my tattoo will be always covered by clothing, I'm trying not to catch ANY sunray possible that could cause skin discoloration) and of course, the gauze.

Once my body has done its work of healing, I'm giving a try on Palmer's Skin Therapy Oil and Tepezcohuite cream- this is known in Mexico for being a tissue repairing ingredient, so I'm looking forward to its results! Both the oil and cream contain vitamin E among other ingredients that look promising... There's nothing left but to trust them!

I finally got the Tea Tree Oil I was desperately trying to find a few months ago for some piercing bumps I got, so if this works I'm keeping it in case of any raised scarring on my tat.

Ha, so you think I'm prepared enough? What do you guys use after treatments?

Taking control of my life

"I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul."
-Creep by Radiohead

I've made a decision. I know it is quite soon and I seem to be changing my mind too fast, but I am following my instinct of what's going to make me happy. I am indeed going to get this tattoo off my body.

I've made my mistake, but I can't live in the past wondering "what would have happened if", or being harsh on myself for it, but this is the toll I get to pay, and there is nothing but to move forward. I am not the first -and surely not going to be the last- person with an unwanted tattoo, because we are only humans and making mistakes is human. While I thought getting tattooed would help with my BDD in an attempt of hiding my -imaginary- flaws, it helped doing the opposite: I know I'd be much more comfortable in my own skin. I want that back. That would definitely make me happy, and I'd rather spend two years of my life working on it for my happiness's sake, than to spend a life full of unhappiness. Some people just need a strong wake up call to their lives so they can finally value all the good things they got and weren't able to see before, and somehow I am glad I finally had the chance to understand this. I have my family, I have health, I have a full life ahead... I am not going to let a tattoo win me over all that I still have to live for. When all of this is over, and even if left with a ghost image, I will be able to look back and be proud of the obstacles I overcame.
So yes, laser plan is still going and I start just in few more weeks.
This community is full of support and I am happy I could find amazing people that teaches you wisdom, courage, and patience all involved in the journey itself.
Peace out, ink-regret bros. We can all make it to the finish line.