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12 weeks (plus)

I've been totally falling down on my picture taking lately. I was 12 weeks last Friday!

Had some emotionally tough days last week. In a fit of frustration I stopped wearing my compression garment. I felt like it wasn't really helping resolve the swelling -- I would be blimped out by the end of the day regardless of whether or not I wore it, so why keep wearing it? And here's the thing: I still have some lax skin and some excess fat, and going from months of seeing a perfect silhouette because of the garment to facing the reality of being able to pinch my swollen tummy when I sit down or lean forward was really, really hard.

The view looking down sometimes seems like a before picture, and I have plenty to grab on my sides, back, hips, and thighs. I think I am coming out of the fog of body dysmorphia though -- realizing that my compression garment shape is NOT my real shape. When I look in the mirror at what's actually there, and think about what used to be, I'm still happy and feel good about the results. In some ways I wish I had ditched the garment earlier so I wasn't to used to my shape in it -- but I'm also grateful I didn't wait longer.

I'm still having some significant swelling. I measured one evening last week and again the next morning, and there was a 2" difference overnight! So, I'm trying to remember to be patient, and to treat myself with the same love and kindness I would a friend.

I almost made it 4 full weeks on my weight lifting routine. Unfortunately I really over-did the activity this last weekend, and my upper abs have been pretty sore and extra swollen the last few days. So I've been resting. It's hard feeling like I'm stalled so close to a major goal, and I'm worried about losing the fierce willpower momentum I had going. It feels like I'm making excuses -- but I do think it's the right thing for my body right now not to chance it.

10 Weeks - Oh the swelling!

I got back on the exercise bandwagon 9 days ago. It feels wonderful and awful! I'm on a plan where I lift weights 6 days a week and rest 1 day. I've started back slowly with light weights. I'm past the initial period of being really sore and creaky, and feeling like I can add weight to most things. There are a few exercises where I'm really feeling it in the upper abs (tricep push-downs for some reason the most?!), so I'll keep those at a very light weight for now.

All of this new activity has made me blow up like a balloon! I've had to go back to wearing my garment during the day. I still take it off at night, and wake up in the mornings pretty flat. I know it's all part of the process, but I have to say I'm really looking forward to not spending so much time getting dressed!

I'm still using the Oleeva fabric silicon tapes my PS gave me. I bought 3M Transpore medical tape, and use a little bit at the ends of the shapes to keep them on. It leaves a little sticky adhesive on my skin (can't even get it off with soap, have to basically scrape it off) and makes my skin a little red, but it's really effective and better than the silicon strips bunching up and falling off.

I went bra shopping last weekend -- so exciting! Nordstrom's is THE BEST for bra shopping. I also used this online bra size calculator before going so I knew what sizes to try. I HIGHLY recommend it -- you take 5 measurements and it gives you your size. You probably won't believe what it tells you, but it will be right or pretty close to right. Here's the site: http://www.brasizecalculator.tk/ I didn't believe my results at first, but they were spot on! I found it from the abrathatfits sub-reddit, which I also really recommend. Lots of good info and feedback about shape and size, and what bra brands and styles work best for different breasts.

I think I end every update this way, but I am so happy I did this! Hope everyone else is healing well or feeling excited for their surgery day to come!

8 Weeks

Time is flying! My 8 week-aversary was on Friday. This last week I haven't been wearing my garment at night, and today (Sunday) I haven't worn it at all. I've seen quite a few reviews here from ladies who ditched theirs earlier, but I've been nervous to go without and I find it more comforting than uncomfortable at this point. Today gave me confidence to go without it more often, though. One of the main purposes it's serving at this point is keeping my silicone scar strips in place. This weekend I stuck the ends of the tummy strip in place with bandaids. Desperate times...

Two or three times in the last week my boyfriend has caught me admiring myself in front of the mirror in our bedroom. The first time I tried to pass it off as getting in my pjs, ha, but he was not buying it. It's just SUCH a change it's hard not to stare!

I've slowly started going through my drawers and closets to purge the things that really don't fit right any more. It's making me realize what I need most is more bras that fit! Right now I have one normal non-underwire, and the rest are sports bras and stretchy bra-lets that are comfy but not right under workwear.

I went for my first real jog on Friday, and it felt great! Though I need new bras for that too -- something a little tighter to hold everything still. Had some uncomfortable moments, and will admit to having supported the boobs surreptitiously with my wrists when no one was around...

Pics are from this morning. I definitely feel flatter in the mornings, and pretty puffed up by nighttime. Overall still thrilled! I actually had the thought this week that a bikini might be in my future?! I literally haven't worn one since childhood...