51 Yr. Old Who is Done with These Implants and Wants to Be Natural! - Michigan, MI

I'm so happy I stumbled upon this site! I've been...

I'm so happy I stumbled upon this site! I've been wanting my implants out for a couple of years now and you ladies have given my a lot of inspiration and courage to do it! I got my 320cc under-the-muscle implants 13 years ago, along with a breast lift at the same time. I had breast fed 3 babies and my boobs were very saggy with stretched, large areola and my bra size was down to a (small) 34B cup at that point. I had always been a full C cup prior to breast feeding. Originally I went in for a lift only but was talked into implants with the lift. My goal was "perky", not larger size at the time but I did miss my full breasts so decided on "small" implants. Told the plastic surgeon to go smaller rather than larger if unsure. Well, after the surgery I did like the results but felt they were bigger than I wanted, but could live with them. I was a 34D after the surgery. As the years clicked along (I was 37 yrs. old and 130 lbs when implants and lift were done, and I am 5'8" tall), I slowly put on weight and was exercising a bit less. Fast forward to now and I am 155 lbs and these boobs are a 34DDD or 36DD!! I'm miserable with them and have been buying minimizer bras for the past 8 years. I'm very self-conscious of them and it is so hard to find clothes that fit properly without looking 20 pounds heavier! I regret getting the implants. I'm at a point in my life where natural seems more beautiful and appropriate and I feel ridiculous with these monster boobs, even though they probably aren't way out of proportion for my build. I'm tired of the harness-style bras and the way these fake mounds get in the way with exercising (forget about running at this point!). Dresses are almost impossible for me to find because my hips are not large but I'm so top-heavy that I need a size 10 or 12 to fit these girls and my hips are a size 8. I had a consultation almost two years ago for implant removal and then chickened out at that time.

Well, I have now scheduled my surgery for December 3, 2015 and I'm going through with it! My big question is whether or not to get another lift done with the implant removal. The plastic surgeon said my nipples are the correct distance from my collarbone for my age but that my breast tissue will definitely be looser and more saggy. He can't relocate the areola again because there is risk of the tissue wouldn't survive, so he would just resect a portion of the skin under the breast to tighten it up. If anyone has had a similar story as mine, please let me know if you went with another lift or just had the implant removed. I won't mind SOME sagging and I WANT soft, smaller boobs again but am worried they will be nothing but hanging skin. I will try and load some photos of what my breasts are like right now. I don't think I have pictures from 13 years ago when I went in for the original implants and lift.

Here are some photos as of TODAY. UGH!

So here are the monster girls 5 weeks prior to my scheduled surgery for explanting. The implants were done 13 years ago and at the same time I had a masopexy (lift with reduction of areola). Implants are 320cc under the muscle. I chose tear-drop shapes because like I said, I wanted a natural look and wasn't really ever planning on implants...I originally went in for a lift only. I do regret being "talked into" implants but I know it was ultimately my decision to do it. Looking at these photos makes me feel huge. I'd really like to lose 10 pounts of weight before my surgery. I'm 155 pounds right now but was 130 lbs. when I got the implants 13 years ago. I've always had BIG fluctuations with my natural breast size and weight gain/lose. This is the heaviest I've ever been in my life which doesn't help matters with what I am struggling with. I'm 5'8" tall. I want them GONE. The thought of soft boobs that don't embarrass me can't happen fast enough. I do think my PS did a great job with the original surgery and they have held up very well.

Leaning toward no lift, only explant now. Also...seeing a Rheumotologist Monday.

The more I've been thinking, the more I am deciding I will explant only and not have the surgeon do another breast lift. I don't want to set myself up for any unnecessary problems and plus, at this point in my life I won't be wearing any bra-less tops or dresses ever again. I just hope the feeling of them hanging losely doesn't bother me. This was one of the things that drove me to the PS the first time around! That, and they looked just terrible after breast feeding and stretching them out so much. I'm hoping with a bra they will be lifted up enough and not so loose that they fall out of the bra when I bend over; this is how saggy they were 13 years ago before the lift and implants at that time.

I have an appointment with a Rheumotologist in two days for joint pain in my hands, wrists and elbows. This has been an ongoing problem which has been getting progressiviely worse for 2-3 years now. It's to the point I take 800mg of Advil around the clock and the pain wakes me up at night. It's worst in the morning. I'm having a lot of difficulty doing any strength training at the gym because of it. As I've been reading so many of the reviews on this site, I'm beginning to wonder if these implants are the cause!! Never thought of that before! I guess I'll let him know I have implants in case there is a correlation. I'll keep you posted.

More photos and reasons why I want my implants OUT

I'm adding a few more photos because the first ones seemed a bit blurry and these new ones show the scars from the first lift I had 13 years ago. As you can see, my breasts have stretched and gotten bigger since the first surgery because the incision line from the lift should be in the fold under the breast and it is now more on the bottom of the breast. I'm sure this is due to my weight gain over the years.

The photo in the T-shirt is a good example of why I never wear tight shirts anymore! All you see is BOOBS! Ridiculous for a woman 51 years old and I am so self-conscious of them. I absolutely hate them now. Ever since I found this site I feel more sure of wanting to explant. I was feeling all alone with this burden and didn't think anybody else would understand where I am coming from. I've kept my first surgery a secret from everyone except my closest 3 friends (and of course my husband!).

I've already stopped taking Advil in preparation for the surgery. I consume LOTS of Advil (600mg-800mg every 6 hours around the clock) for the chronic joint pain I have. I'm so worried about bleeding with the surgery so I've decided to stop the Advil extra early--they recommended 2 weeks prior. My surgery is December 4, 2015. I have my appointment with the Rheumatologist tomorrow so I'm anxious to hear his thoughts on the correlation with the joint pain and the implants... I'll let you know.

Saw the rheumotologist - he says it's not the implants

Had my appointment with the rheumatologist for all the joint pain I've been having in hands, wrists, and elbows. He diagnosed me with osteoarthritis. I told him I had implants that I was explanting on December 4th and he said "I hope you're not doing that for your joint pain because they have nothing to do with it". He went on to tell me all the studies show no correlation. I wasn't about to get into a conversation with him about my implants so I told him there were other reasons and left it at that with him. Regardless of my osteoarthritis, I'd be explanting these things but I can't help to believe in my heart these foreign objects have something to do with all these weird symptoms I have. So, he put me on Mobic (anti-inflammatory) daily, and a cream for the joints. No cure, just have to live with it and treat symptoms. I'll have to stop the Mobic 2 weeks prior to my explant though as it increases the chances of bleeding, which I am very worried about. My PS removes the capsules with the implant. He said they don't use drains unless necessary. I've read so many reviews from people who didn't have the capsule removed. Does anyone know if the healing is longer and more painful with the capsule removed too? My implants did not get contractures so I assume my capsule is soft and thin...

Before/After photos from 13 years ago.... and then one from today.

I was only able to locate 2 photos from 2002 when I had the initial mastopexy and implants done. Unfortunately they are with my shirt (orange tank top) on but you can get an idea of what I was dealing with. Both pictures are without a bra on. I'm 37 years old in these first two pics, and weight 125-130 lbs. Pre-surgery 34B and post surgery 34D/DD. Then today in the red tank top, 51 years old, 155 lbs and 34DDD/36DD! I will say the implants have held up well and I've had no problems with any of the things that could have gone wrong. But, I'm so miserable with them and feel gigantic. The weight gain and a somewhat early menopause hasn't helped matters and I just can't wait to explant. I'm really starting to get nervous about the surgery and haven't told my 3 teenagers about it yet. They have no idea I ever had the first surgery because they were toddlers at the time so they only now mom with big boobs. I dread telling them but they need to know this is not what a typical 51 year old mom of 3 who breastfed all of them looks like! Worst part is that they are all boys. Ugh! I hope other women who are younger and considering implants think long and hard about what will lie up the road for them. I SO wish I would have only had the lift and no implants back in 2002!!

Last photos before explant in three weeks

I've added some photos which I took today, in various articles of clothing. You can read my thoughts about them in the captions under the photos.

I'm only 3 weeks from explant and I am nervous and excited. I did call the office with many questions and they were SO compassionate and understanding with all my concerns. They did not rush the conversation and I felt so much more at ease after hanging up.

I still haven't completely decided on another lift with explant, but I seriously doubt I'll do that. I will talk to my surgeon the day before surgery and make my final decision. I'm worried about that whole skin-on-skin feeling under the boobs which drives me nuts and was the main reason I went to the PS back in 2002. I suppose I could wear a bra 24/7 if that's the case. I live out of state so I am flying in and have a pre-op appt. the day before December 3rd. I will be staying at a hotel to recover and if all goes well, I will have a post-op visit on the 5th and fly back home. My mom will be with me the whole time because my husband is staying home with the kids and work.

Looking at the photos I've posted really helps to confirm my decision. It is also quite the incentive to get back to the gym and continue eating healthy foods. I know my boobs are out of control with size and part of that is the extra weight, so I am trying to be realstic and accept that taking the implants out will not be the all-cure for how fat I feel. Even prior to the weight gain though, I camouflaged my implants/breasts and wore clothing to hide them. I've always been self-conscious of them and embarrassed. I AM TIRED OF IT. Tired of these tanks and feeling like a frumpy mess with them.

I encourage all of you who are reading without a profile to create one and chime in. It has been my source of solace during this whole process, and so not me to put those nude pictures of myself out there. But it's been wonderful to connect with everyone going through similar tribulations. I was feeling so alone with this burden of what to do.

Seeing pictures of lots of REAL boobs has been incredibly helpful with accepting that our natural boobs are soft, flimsy, sagging, sometimes sad, mushy, tiny, flat, etc...anything but round, firm, pointy, hard, pornographic. It makes me mad that society has brainwashed so many of us into thinking otherwise.

I'm anxious to be natural me again. I wish I never would have had the implants inserted but we all live and learn. I'm just thankful I've finally gotten the courage to remove them and get on with my life, without them feeling like a ball & chain.

I'll keep you posted on progress as the big day approaches. Thank you for listening and reading my story. I hope this helps at least one person.

Finally told my teenaged sons tonight, about my implants.

Well, I've been dreading telling my 3 sons, ages 15, 17 & 18 about my implants and upcoming surgery to explant. They've only known mom with big boobs. I got the implants and lift when they were 1, 3 & 4 years old. They had to know the truth though, I don't like secrets between all of us and we are a close family. So, at dinner I told them I was going to have some surgery done, but nothing serious so not to worry. My husband was there too. I went on to explain that I had breast implants, reasons I did it, and was getting them removed, and reasons why I was explanting. They were staring at me like deer in headlights and then finally one of them said, "Our friends all think you are really hot." This was NOT what I wanted to hear. Then they wanted to know if it would be obvious. Then one asked if implants feel different than real boobs. Etc, etc... Very weird and awkward conversation to have with my boys but they appreciated my honesty and frankness. We moved onto other topics rather quickly and then once the air settled, they began making lots of boob jokes and we laughed it off. Perhaps it was their way of digesting the whole thing, as they had no idea I had implants. I must say, some of their jokes made me laugh pretty hard---boys are goofy and we all have a good sense of humor. It's a relief for me to have it all out on the table now and it is one step closer for me to make things right with my body and getting rid of the shame associated with these darn things! Whew, I can check that one off the list now.

Less than 48 hours until surgery

I get on a plane tomorrow and fly to Michigan for my pre-op appointment. Then the big day is on December 3rd, not sure what time I'm scheduled for. I will have general anesthesia and hopefully no drains. I wish I could be home to recover those first couple of days, rather than in a hotel, but oh well. My mother will be with me and who better than her, we are very close. My husband doesn't seem worried at all about the outcome, he just wants me to be happy and comfortable with my body. I will be relieved once it's over and I'm back home with him and my sons. I'll let you all know if there is anything new to report after tomorrow's appointment. Otherwise, I will be implant-free the next time I post. Keep me in your prayers please.

DONE! They are out!!!

THey are out, I am back at the hotel. I'm very groggy and going to sleep now. Here's the photo, I have no idea what it looks like underneath but I know we all like pictures.... I was in the OR for 2 hours, or so I was told. Was at the office at 9:00am, in the OR by 9:30 and just arrived at the hotel at 1:50pm. zOnce I'm more awake and coherent I'll give you all details. I am in some pain, level 5 on a scale of 1-10 but my mom gave me pain pills right before we left so they've kicked in. Thank you Lord for keeping me alive without major complications during procedure. I'm already grateful. Thank you thank you.

First peek

Here is a photo looking down my pajama top, I am in a semi-recumbent position. I'm dying to see the results but don't want to take the dressings and bra off just yet. Looks like I still have some breast tissue, so that's good. My PS did do a revision of the scar beneath the breast which he said would remove some excess skin and hopefully alleviate some sagging. We will see tomorrow. I'm just so so happy the implants are OUT. I do have the implants in a bag so I'll show you those tomorrow too when I am out of bed and moving around. Thank you ladies for all your support, prayers, well wishes and courage to share your personal stories. This site has been invaluable to me!

Headache!!!

Oh my gosh this headache I have overrides the incisional pain! It is just horrendous and I can barely write this post. I'm wondering if it is a coffee withdrawal headache.... I didn't get a good night's sleep because I'm a side-sleeper and being on my back was uncomfortable along with the headache. Will update once it is gone, hopefully soon.

PHOTOS - 27 hours post-op

Ok, here are the pictures. My headach finally went away after 3 cups of coffee and no more pain medication. I'm only taking tylenol now and my incisional pain in minimal! I have a large incision in the crease of both breasts where my PS removed excess skin. These don't bother me at all aesthetically as they will fade over time like the first ones did. I'm amazed at how much boob I have!! I guess the extra 20-25 pounds has had ONE benefit! I'll be curious to see what happens once I shed these extra pounds (if I ever do!). Menopause has been rough for me. I can't tell you how happy I am that I explanted! It's like the weight of the world has been lifted and my breasts are so soft and warm. I love them. They feel so womanly, so natural, and they have been through a war, these poor things. I promise them I will leave them alone now. They've breast-fed 3 babies for almost a year each, then they were cut and repositioned with a toxic bag shoved under them and now the bags have been yanked out and the excess skin chopped off. I feel I owe tham an apology for what I've put them through! But no more. They are 51 years old and they can do whatever they want now, I will be good to them.

I'll keep some updated photos as to what happens over the next month or so, once the sutures come out and things settle. Ladies, we need to love ourselves and each other. No judging each other for choices we make, just acceptance and support for one another no matter where we are at in our journey of womanhood. I know I'm long-winded, it's in my genes, but I'm so grateful for finding this site because I might still be living with the mental turmoil and shame my implants gave me still. All of you who opened up to a bunch of strangers on the web have been a gift to me. Thanks you all for sharing and being so open. I hope I have helped even one person somehow.

Photos of incisions - 48 hours post-op

I'm feeling fabulous! Taking tylenol only for pain. Took a shower today for the first time since surgery. Pretty much have stayed in bed with the exception of meals which my mom brought me to the hotel we are at. The photos are a bit scary with all the sutures but I was prepared for this and talked to my PS about it beforehand. I opted for this revision knowing how long the incision would be. But for me, the trade-off of not having the bottom of my breast rest on my torso, especially when sitting down was worth it. I don't know why that feeling of breast-on-belly makes me absolutely nuts, but it does, I just hate that feeling. I'm beyond the days of wearing plunging neckline dresses or anything that would reveal side-boob, so these scars will suit me just fine. I'm more than thrilled with the outcome so far. It is way better than I expected. I hope as things heal and the swelling subsides I will still be happy. I think no matter what the outcome would be, I would be thanking my lucky stars that the implants are out and I am ME, now and forever. I just can't tell you how satisfying it has been to be laying in this hotel bed with my implants sitting on the dresser, 15 feet away from me, never to be inside of me again. I would just look and them and smile, and feel so much gratification that they were there and I was nowhere near them. Weird, I know, but it was like I finally set them free and it is just so unbelievably liberating I could just dance on the tabletop! Haha---not THAT is a scary thought!

I get back on a plane tonight at 8:00pm to fly home and be with my husband and sons, the loves of my life. I will feel so safe once I'm back there. I'll continue to take photos of the healing process. Looks like my right boob will be bigger than the left one and the aerola like sad eyes, but it's all ok. The sutures come out in 6 days. Keeping my fingers crossed for no infections, hematomas, seromas, and anything else that could still go wrong. I don't feel quite out of the woods yet.

Another post-op bra

Here is another bra I purchased by carefix (the Bella style). I put some non-stick dressings around the incisions which you can kinda see. It's not quite as comfortable as the Soma one but needed to wash the Soma due to oozing and blood getting on it so this was my alternative. Had an entire arsenal of post-op bras and sports bras of varying sizes and styles so I'd be ready for compression that fit and I had no idea what size I'd be after explanting. Who could guess after 13 years, menopause, gravity and the 25 pound weight gain! Now I need to return 90% of them!! I swear I make more work for myself than necessary. Bruising is getting worse by the way. No significant swelling or hardening though.

Feeling down

Although I am very happy to be home with my family, I've been feeling down today. Not sure if I tried to do too much; went to the grocery store, chauffeured one of my sons around, did one load of laundry and a few things around the kitchen. It wiped me out and I feel old, weak and tired. Breasts are definitely more sore today and the bruising is certainly worse and not pretty! Incision pain isn't too bad though, it's more the lower breast tissue where the excess skin was removed that hurts. My neck is sore from sleeping on my back and I feel I haven't gotten some good shut-eye in ages. I feel impatient and frustrated. I'd like to rush the healing process and get back to the energetic me. Just feeling sorry for myself and don't want to burden my guys over here so I thought I'd have my pity party on RS instead. Anyone else suddenly feel down afterward, even though they had no regrets? I wouldn't undo the explant and revision for anything but am confused as to why I'm down in the dumps. :( I don't like having people wait on me and I'm not good at asking for help around the house. When did most of you start turning the corner with energy? I haven't taken any pain meds other than Tylenol since that first day of surgery, so I know it isn't medication in my system.

More photos as bruising settles in

I promise I won't be making daily posts and photos but I know how much I liked seeing pictures of results and how the healing progressed for ladies, prior to me making my decision to explant. So, here are some from today for those following my surgery and wanting to know what to expect. You can see the yellowish (and purple) bruising on the bottom near crease and incision...It is just blood settling and will eventually go away. All breast tissue is still super soft to touch and there is no sign of hematoma. I'm still very pleased with this outcome! I'm just impatient and eager to fast-forward so I can get back to my busy life --- without implants!!

Husband's response and also sutures are removed

So, I finally showed them to my husband 2 days ago and his response was, "Man, they are still huge". Ok, NOT the response I'd hoped for (maybe he thought this would make me feel good?!?) but it was pretty much a lose-lose for him because anything shy of him saying, "Oh sweetheart they look so lovely and I'm so happy you had them removed because I love your natural boobs so much more and none of this matters to me anyways because you are the love of my life and you could do anything to your body and it wouldn't change a single thing about how I feel toward you because I love you at such at deeper level and if you need to talk about how you're feeling we should have a quite dinner and I will listen intently and then hold you and rub your back all night", probably wouldn't have been the right thing to say to me. Men & Women -- very different creatures.

I had the sutures removed today. Ouch! Boy there were a TON of them, probably close to 50 each boob. What a relief that they are out though, as they were itchy and bothersome. Some of you have mentioned "scar cream" or something like that...any recommendations would be appreciated to speed the healing process on my incisions, but I don't recall who on this forum suggested them.

My sons asked to see the implants, knowing I was going to ask the doctor for them as souvenirs. I guess I'll show them but it seems like such a weird, inappropriate thing to do. I suppose if it freaks them out enough then maybe they can talk a girlfriend, wife or female friend out of getting them one day and then it would be worth it. Anything to save one more woman from having to go through the ordeal I'm going through.

Overall, I'm still over the moon happy I explanted! Would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm still in awe at the softness of my chest and how much lighter it feels. I absolutely love it. Will post some pics in a couple of days on the healing process. I've done too much since my surgery and so today, after getting the sutures out, I'm couch-bound and taking it easy! Pizza again for dinner.

Making slight progress - 8 days since explant.

Still VERY happy the implants are out. Incisions will take some time to heal and fade, I've been through this part before and it's the least of my worries. Bruising is fading quicker than I expected so that's been a nice surprise. Love the softness still. My left breast is definitely bigger than the right and a bit of a different shape. I like the right one better. I can't remember if they were asymmetrical before they hit the war zone, pre-pregnancies. Still having some incisional and lower breast pain but no big deal. Overall, extremely happy I finally went through with the surgery and I know I wouldn't have scheduled that appointment without finding all you wonderful women who understand what I am going through. Thank you.

The difference 350cc's make!!

Progress is very good. I walked the dog for 1.5 miles today and she was so happy! I wore an old sports bra (34D) along with a new compression sports bra - so yes, two harnesses to lock the boobs in place. I didn't want any jiggle or movement as the bottom of breast is still a bit sore. I've discovered I had been wearing the wrong bra size prior to explanting and was probably a 34/36 E or F prior to explant! My 34D bras fit pretty good right now but I'm honestly hoping once I shed the extra weight I will be a 34C. My focus now is to start eating better, get back to my work-out routine and lose 15 pounds, which I KNOW from past experience that this will decrease my breast size further. I've added a photo in the same shirt with, and then without the toxic bag. It is clear why I've been so weighted down and sluggish for so long while the implants were in my body. My natural boobs are much more suitable for a 51 year old. Not much new on the scar healing, other than all the bruising is gone, tissue looks healthy and progress is happening each day. The incisions itch!

16 days post op

I continue to heal but am still sore under the incisions in the crease. I'm experiencing the "zingers" that just sort of shoot through the breast randomly and of course still itchy at the incisions. The right incision seems rather firm and hardened near the breastbone end--not sure if this is normal. It's nothing I'm overly concerned about. Bra shopping yesterday was quite disappointing and frustrating. Really couldn't find a bra that was comfortable without an underwire. I'm in a larger size than I'd hoped to be and I think it made me realize how much extra weight I have on my frame right now and I'm having a hard time with this. My left breast is slightly larger than the right one, not enough for anyone to notice when I'm dressed and with a bra, just something I'm aware of. I'm very, very happy with my results still, and wonder why I waited so long and suffered with the implants for so many years. Never ever did I think my boobs would look like they do, after explanting. Way better than I thought. Partly because I expected the absolute worst and had realistic expectations. Main goal was to just get the bags out safely and be natural me. Life is always full of surprises...some good, some not good. I've had my share of both in my lifetime. I'm still so grateful for all the ladies who have shared their stories and gave me the courage to do this.

One month post-op pics and how I'm feeling

Here are some one month post-op photos as to how I'm healing and how the real boobs have settled in so far. I have no regrets, at all, about removing the implants. Should have done it years ago! When I look at these photos of myself, what I really see is how fat I am and it makes me depressed. The boobs are fine, the scars are fine, the shape is fine, all is fine with the chest and explanting, except I MUST drop these extra 15-20 pounds! I can't get past that, I'm being totally honest. I've had to work hard at maintaining a healthy weight and staying fit with strength training all my life and for the most part, I've done it...up until I hit menopause. I look at these photos and feel like I've let myself go. Not trying to be a Negative Nancy, just saying how it is. I'm thrilled beyond words about my explant results and I'm grateful and thankful for not having any problems afterward, I really am. I'm just smacking myself in the head for letting this weight creep up on me and letting my muscles get so soft. I'm certain I was wearing the wrong size bra prior to explanting...I was probably a 34/36 E or F because all my 34/36D and DD bras fit still. They actually are comfortable now. I would rather be a B or small C cup and have the rest of my body slim again. I'm determined to start eating better, cut the bad carbs and sugar, and get my fanny back to the gym! I will make one month updates with photos on how my breasts shrink with weight loss. It's amazing, I've been on this rollar coaster before. Most of you that have tiny breasts and/or not much breast tissue are slender and fit. (What I'm striving for!!) We can't have both unless we get the toxic bags. No thanks! My next goal now is to lose the fat which will definitely decrease my boobs even more and I then I can be more comfortable.

As for all my "weird" physical symptoms: I'm still having joint pain but my hot flashes and night sweats have really simmered down since explanting. My eye has flared up once since my surgery and I haven't really had the "brain fog" some of us have talked about. I have developed a lump near my right clavical, about the size of a large grape and I have an appointment to see a doctor about it tomorrow. Not sure if it is just a swollen node from the surgery or something more serious. Will keep you posted.

Happy New Year to all of you! For those of you with upcoming surgeries, I wish you the best and for those who have recently explanted I hope for a speedy recovery for you!

2 months post op and 8 pound weight loss

Haven't been on the site for a while but wanted to give a 2 month update since my explant. I've lost about 8 pound so far, not including the 2 pounds of saline from the implants! My goal is to lose 10-15 more pounds and I will be back to my normal self. My tops all fit so much better, I love it. I've been eating clean and can really feel a change in my overall mental well-being. I don't feel ashamed to wear snug-fitting clothing anymore because I'm ME.

I can't say my joint pain has vanished, or even improved for that matter. My hot flashes are definitely more mild, but who knows if it's because the implants were removed. Brain fog is better for sure. Overall, I just feel better, but for me, I think so much of it is the mental relief because they were such a huge burden for my psyche.

Bra shopping still a bit of a challenge and I don't want to over-buy until I lose all my extra weight and know exactly what size my boobs will be. They've gotten a bit smaller already, which is good by me!

Good luck to all of you who have upcoming surgeries. This was the best thing I've done for myself in years!

I had the craziest dream last night!

Oh gosh, I just have to share this dream with you gals. We can all use a chuckle about the crazy situation we've landed ourselves in, right??

So, right now I am a little over 2 months post-op and extremely happy with my results, wondering why I didn't explant years ago. I still feel SO thankful that eveything went better than I expected.

Well last night I dreamt I was a few day post op and for some reason all my shirts were still really tight across the boobs even though my boobs were a lot smaller and soft. It was obvious the implants had been removed but I still could not button my blouses without the buttons gaping open. I was so upset and confused about what was happening with my clothes not fitting any better despite getting rid 700cc's off my chest! My husband was looking at me and wondering the same thing while I was nearly in tears over the situation. I turned around and started walking out of the room only to hear my husband gasp and shout, "Oh my god, what did they do to you...Go look at your back in the mirror!!". I run to the bathroom and turn around and discover that they moved my implants to my BACK! They just slid them to the other side of me instead of removing them! I was horrified with boobs sitting on my shoulder blades and wondering how on earth I was going to manage having to wear two bras now, one backwards and the other with my new flimsy little ones.

Pretty crazy, huh? The rest of the dream didn't make much sense but the point here is that I knew my implants caused me a lot of mental grief but I never knew the depths of it! Good lord. LOL Thank goodness it was just a dream. My husband and I had a good laugh about it.

3 month post-op and 13 pound weight loss

I'm getting there! I've lost 13 pounds since explant and finally a cup size as well. I feel better than I have in years, so this is incentive to continue eating right and embracing my natural body and accepting the changes that come with age and menopause. I went shopping for some new tops the other day and it was like I had been released from prison. I finally enjoyed it! I bought some solid-colored snug(ish) fitting tops and a few button-downs too! This might seem so ridiculous to some, but for me, it was HUGE because I've been hiding behind baggy tents, patterned fabric, and frumpy tops for so long. I'd like to drop 10 more pounds of fat and hopefully add some muscle weight, and firm things up (not the boobs hahah!). Will keep you posted on progress. Thanks for everyone's support!! You are all my sisters in self-acceptance.

4 months post-explant and 17 pound weight loss (yay!)

Hello Friends,
I could not feel better!! I think I've plateaued as far as my physical appearance of breasts go, but I continue to make strides in my mental well-being and attitude! It feels amazing to be taking better care of myself. I've added regualr/daily exercise to my healthful diet and it is showing at the scale. I've gained a new appreciation for my natural body and still wonder why-oh-why didn't I remove the implants a long time ago. I guess it was fear of the unknown and shame, along with time and money and all the other thousands of worries attached to undergoing a surgery. Explanting was the best decision I could have ever made for myself though. It has sparked a life style change I have wanted to implement for years. My saline implants prevented me from SO MUCH. I won't go into all of it because for anyone who has followed my story....I can get carried away! I just wanted to share a monthly update with photos, as promised. I am gratelful and happy to have my body back!

For all the gals sitting on the fence, I encourage you to listen to your heart. Take an honest look at the years ahead of you, menopause, and the natural aging process your body will go through. There is no one decision that is right for everyone...each of us has our own story/struggle, and we all just need to support each other.

Almost 8 months post-explant and I'm a new person!

It's been months since I posted and that is probably because I am enjoying life again! I added some photos from today so you can see how the scar lines have continued to almost disappear completely. I've also lost 20-25 pounds. My joint pain has not gone away but my mental well-being can deal with it because I am now ME. Truly, this was the best gift I've ever given myself and I no longer have the shame, embarrassment and dread associated with lugging those implants around.

Not sure why this photo didn't post...

I guess removing my implants didn't improve my technology skills! Not sure why this last photo didn't post on my recent update. It's another close up of the scar line. I did have some excess skin romoved with my explant 8 months ago. Only skin beneath the breast was removed. I did not have him cut from the areola straight down to the crease again (anchor line). So, the new scar is only in the crease.
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