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Here’s the short and sweet: I’ve wanted this...

Here’s the short and sweet: I’ve wanted this procedure for 18 years. My labia were long and super uncomfortable/painful. They did everything you don’t want a labia to do. Finally at the ripe ol’ age of 30, I decided to pluck up the courage to ask my doctor about getting the procedure and how to get insurance to pay for it.

I called my insurance and strangely they put up no fight. They said “no problem! Just go to a plastic surgeon in your network” I found one, but I didn’t like her so I picked a second one and away we go!

The day of my long-awaited surgery, there was a blizzard. My doctor and I decided “Oh hell no” and both got to the hospital anyway, relatively on time. The procedure itself was fine. General anesthesia and I came out of it ready to go and hungry. I got instructions for the squeezy bottle for peeing, and a sitz bath for sitz. Antibiotics and Tylenol with codeine and my partner drove me home.

After three days, I took a much-needed shower and felt fine. I had minimal pain but maximum swelling. I couldn’t walk and it was getting annoying. On the 4th day, I tried to go back to work, but there was a lot more walking around than I anticipated and I irritated the site something fierce. I talked to my boss (who believe this surgery was for a bladder condition I have, thus saving me from explaining why a surgery would make me walk around like a cowboy and sit like everything is covered in fire.) and she had no issue with me taking the week off to heal properly. Thank god for good employers!

I’ve been icing and sitzing my heart out and could not get the swelling to come down. Yesterday, on my 6th day post-op, I woke up to see that my stitches had all but disappeared and my incision was coming apart. I freaked, called my surgeon and he saw me right away. When he had to examine me, I will be honest—I was sobbing in pain. It was the most intense sharp pain I had ever felt. But he had to push them apart to see the damage, and his bedside manner was very good.

He advised me that the separation looked worse because of the swelling and once we could get that down, I’ll be able to see that the hole is much much smaller. I went home for a more extended sitz (like, 40 minutes.) and it felt SO much better. After that long, I could actually walk a bit more normally and close my legs more. The relief!

Then today? I wake up, sitz for 45 minutes (you have no idea, it feels SO good) and notice it’s bleeding. Good, I thought. Now we can get all this blood out and the swelling can go down.

Not good. As of tonight and a second sitz, the incision along my right labia has almost entirely opened up. All I can see inside it is dark dark red, almost black, and it’s bleeding pretty steadily but not heavily. It hurts more, and I’m pretty nervous that even though I can’t get it re-stitched, I’m going to have to revise it in a few months. I just can’t see how a wound so large is just going to heal up perfectly all on its own.

I have a follow-up with him on Tuesday, and I hope I see some results between now and then. Right now it feels fine, but looks pretty scary. However, even with the complications, even with the swelling, I’m still glad I did it. I just might have chosen to do it during a time when I wasn’t so worried about going back to work in a timely manner.

(That wasn't much shorter, but it was a bit funnier)

Provider Review

Dr. Anonymous
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Until I see the end results. I will not be releasing the doctor's name.