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Still confused

Well its been a little over a month and I am still not sure, although I am leaning towards going through with it. I have another consult at the end of August with the same Dr I went to in June. I really liked him, but I just want to get more answers to my many questions. I just can't see myself with bigger boobs, it just doesn't seem to be possible. I have so many issues going through my mind. Like is it right to put myself in a situation that can threaten my health just to get bigger boobs and how about the cost..yikes! How do I pull this off without anyone noticing? I won't tell my Mother as she would have an absolute fit if she knew. I can't see telling my son who is 21 and he would just think his Mother has lost her mind and I don't want my co-workers or friends to know. So how do I keep this from all of them? I haven't even thought of dealing with pain and recovery yet, I think I am just pushing that worry aside.
Then every time I get dressed for work and have to deal with the top of the dress or blouse gaping open, or dealing with the heat and sweat from the padded bras, or the gaping bikini top that doesn't fit right, or walking by VS and seeing the beautiful bras that I can't wear, or putting on the sports bra that squishes you down to nothing and not wanting my husband to see me naked I think....you know what YOUR DOING THIS. My husband is behind whatever choice I make, but I sort of think he is hoping I go through with the BA. Maybe so I will finally be happy but also I think he would like them too. LOL. My next appointment is August 27th and that is when I make my decision. Hopefully my nest update will be with a set date!

My first consult yippee!!!!

I just went for my first consult and I was so so nervous. Having the tubular issue I was worried what he would say about it. I knew it wasn't a severe case so I was hoping I could have the incision done under the fold. Going in at the nipple just is not what I wanted done. He was familiar with it and has done many surgeries with this issue and he prefers to do the incision at the fold. He said this even before I told him how I felt. The only time he will go in by the nipple is if its a severe case and if the areola area needs to be reduced. He explained in detail why he does it this way and it all sounded understandable to me. I am glad I found this site because I knew a lot about what needed to be done so everything he said sound right to me. I got to try on sizers which was so fun. We came up with 350cc Mentor gel high profile under the muscle. At first I thought 350 would be way to much but when I put them on it was the exact look I was going for. Now my problem is do I want to go for another consult or have I found the Doctor. I hate getting confused with to many decisions so I am worried a different Doctor will have different ideas. I don't plan on doing the surgery until the Fall so I probably should do one more consult.

So the other day I sort of had a freak out moment....

So the other day I sort of had a freak out moment. My daughter and my husband have both gone through surgery in the past two months. This is surgery that they didn't have a choice to do. The pain they are going through made me wonder why I would elect to put myself through surgery and pain, not to mention the problems that can happen, when I don't have to do it. This freak out lasted till I went to the gym and realized AGAIN that I want a body I can be some what proud of. I probably will never get to my youthful body shape (with no boobs) but it could be close (with boobs)