Full TT - Maryland

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Hi all, I'm new to realself, although I have...

Hi all, I'm new to realself, although I have been on this website countless of times. I am a proud mommy of three beautiful kids and have a wonderful husband.

I had a surgery date of March 29,2011. I let my anxiety get the best of me. Once I recieved the "packet" and read the risks, I cancelled. I regret not doing it, I am dealing with depression and sometimes feel like I'm not being the best wife and Mom I know I am because I'm not happy. I feel so selfish, oh boy, here comes the tears. I live day by day, some days are better than others.

I started working out after my consultation, and have lost 15 lbs. I feel good about that, but have the hardest time looking at myself without clothes. I have tried creams, cover-up make-up, was willing to try sunless tanning, heard that's suppose to help with covering the stretch marks. I have looked into fraxel laser and titan to tighten the skin, for the money I would spend, they said I would not be happy. I looked into doing a mini tummy tuck, just so I could be awake, I have such a hard time not being in control. Again was told I would not be happy with the results. I don't want to teach my kids especially my daughter that this is the only way I will be happy. I am very grateful for my husband and children and they help me in more ways to be happy than they know. I just hope and pray that I will have the courage to go through with it, I can't even imagine what would happen if anything goes wrong.

Sorry for such a long post, I just have been obsessing over this for so long, and I'm afraid I'll schedule the procedure and back out again, please help.

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