Breast Implant with CC on One Side - Los Angeles, CA

I had breast implants at the young age of 19 from these picture perfect 34B breasts,that I loved but just wanted to be *bigger*,so I opted for a FULL C/D.At first they were heavenly! At about 6 months,the right side developed stage 3 CC(some may argue stage 2). I assume this was because I chain smoked cigarettes and did NOT massage as instructed,also was picking up my then fiance's 3 yr old child who was well over the max weight I was instructed to avoid during recovery months! Luckily the CC has never seemed to pose a real vanity problem...as long as I take steps to,how shall i put this....*adjust my breasts* to mask it as much as possible. My problems are this: when I went back for follow ups and showed my surgeon, who could obviously tell by look and def. by touch (like a rock on 1 side and soft on the other!),instead of EVER offering up the info. that i could have a revision or other possible options to treat it,he told me since it was causing my nipples to not be aligned and that was something i was hugely bothered by,he asked me to follow him into the other room where he was very suspicious and nervous like,shutting multiple doors and locking them behind us,sat me in a dental exam like chair,had me pop a 500mg vicodin and proceeded to slice open the top of my areola on the affected breast,pull it up higher till my areola was now 2x the size it was originally post-op,till the nipple was not quite,but close to being aligned,and then stitched it back into place-right then and there!!! with me shrieking and convulsing in pain! Now,not only am i freaking traumatized at this point,but my areola is like a freaking silver dollar and bigger then the left one,as well as my nipples still not being exactly aligned,as they were pre-op.OH-MY-GOD!! What just happened!!?? I have lived with this for 9 years,always having to adjust one bra strap lower then the other so as to not have that super round rock pushing up and becoming obvious,i avoid hugs because i can always feel the rock on the one side pressing onto peoples bodies and its embarrassing, having the bedroom be as dark as possible,even at a certain point in my life only becoming intimate with my significant other after a few cocktails due to nerves and lack of self esteem. I cry when I see myself in the mirror and I cry when I (constantly) fidget with my breasts remembering dr.jekyll that butchered me wide awake in secrecy. Now, that doctor had flown town shortly after this happened,so where he is now,i have no idea.So it seems I am left to find a new surgeon, pay full price and hope they save my breasts! I am a full time stay at home mom- my fiance works but we barely make ends meet. I have no idea how in the world I will EVER afford a revision and I am devastated as the ONE TIME in my life I had the ability to ( my now deceased mother paid for the procedure as a nice gesture for being absent in my life even though it put her in debt ) is long gone and was intended to be perfect (i did my research believe me!) with no worry about revision in the *near future. Am I doomed to be stuck with a rock in my chest and a silver dollar center next to my beautiful left breast,while i hide in the dark and avoid intimacy and physical happiness and love for the rest of my life??? :'( This has destroyed me, I have gained weight out of depression and started losing my hair from years of stress and trauma. I once was a young,fit girl just wanting to feel like a woman, and I am now a blob with a bobble on my most noticeable womanly feature and a self hate and disgust for my body. This has ruined me. I'm lost on what is going to happen.


*** The following pictures are detailed and show both the CC as well as the deformed areola and much worse and extra incision scars ***