35 Y/O Mom of 2, Taking the Leap!

I've wanted a tummy tuck since my daughter was born 8 years ago. She was a huge baby at 9lbs 13oz, and being 5'3" with a short torso, well you can see the pictures. I knew we would have more children, so I put the surgery out of my mind. My kids are now 6 & 8 and my husband had a vasectomy so I am ready to fix this belly! I weigh between 149-154 (depending on the time of month) and work out 5-6 times per week - kickboxing, running and strength training. Having hypothyroidism makes it very difficult to lose weight and the belly is always the last place I lose. Not that it matters, the skin is so loose I just end up with deep craters from the stretch marks anyway. I finally went to a consultation in September with Dr. Brooks in Longmeadow, and after my examination he told me I was a good candidate for a TT with muscle repair.

My surgery is in 3 weeks and my emotions range from excitement to pure terror! The "what-ifs" usually sneak into my head around bedtime which is making sleep more difficult. I have soooo many questions written down to ask the surgeon/nurse at my pre-op next week - thanks to this site (I don't know about you, but whenever my doctors ask if I have any questions, my mind ALWAYS goes blank!). Dr. Brooks put me at ease from the first minute and I've had friends use him with fantastic results as well so I feel like I'm in good hands. I've paid the anesthetist as well as the hospital fees and the balance to the PS is due at my pre-op. The only thing I didn't factor was the cost of the pain meds. I didn't really think about it before, but that's all out-of-pocket too. Anyone care to share so I can get a ball-park?

I hope that the surgery goes well without complications, I hope recovery isn't hindered by infections or the dreaded constipation, I hope the scar is low and clean, I hope my belly button isn't a vertical slit and more of a natural oval, I hope my kids don't freak out when they see the hot mess I will most likely be, mostly I hope in the end I will be happy with my decision.

I am so anxious and I feel like I really don't have anyone to talk to. My sisters are jealous that I'm having this done. My best friend is having a procedure the week before me that is medically necessary so I feel ridiculous telling her how nervous I am when she has so much to worry about herself. My husband, although supportive and generally fantastic about all of this, is still a guy with typical guy answers ("Don't be nervous, you'll be fine. What's for dinner?"). I haven't told anyone else that I'm doing this - I will ,however, have to tell my in-laws soon because I know I will need help with the kiddos. Why does that scare me? I'll probably tell my dad after it's done.

The more I'm on this site, the more excited, anxious and confused I become. I'm looking forward to my pre-op next Tuesday because my questions list is growing every day................

Yesterday was my pre-op appointment and I feel a little less anxious. I met with the nurse practitioner who went over surgery day and answered all my questions. I told her my concerns (scar placement and belly button) and she explained their goal is to make every patient's outcome as beautiful as possible. I don't know why that one statement put me at ease, maybe it was her sincerity? Either way, it'll still be better than what I have now. I have no expectations of wearing a bikini after this (I will more than likely still have a lot of stretch marks), but my shape will undoubtedly be better and that's what I really want. And if I get the courage to wear a bikini, then - bonus! I dropped off my scripts, got my blood work done and now it's just time to wait. I was supposed to have received a packet in the mail from the PS's office with detailed instructions and lists of this-and-that,so hopefully that comes soon.

The day after Christmas, next Friday, I have an appointment for a bikini and underarm wax. My PS doesn't want you to shave prior to surgery but waxing is ok. I will also be taking down the Christmas decorations :( and doing a heavy cleaning. I am borrowing a recliner so that will be dropped off sometime over the weekend and I have to do a LOT of grocery shopping. I want to be stocked for at least 2 weeks and have the bulk items (toilet paper, paper towels, cat food/litter etc). We also have a wedding 2 days before surgery. Guess who the designated driver is? Yup! This girl. My sister is taking my kids for 3 days and the hubby has that time off to care for me. Once he goes back to work on day 4, I'll have my bff, who is a nurse, and my sister rotating through to check on me. I also told my mother in law about the surgery and she was surprisingly on board! Don't know why I was so nervous to tell her...

I think the hardest part of all of this will be weeks 3-6. I have a hard time sitting still, I am constantly moving, cleaning, cooking, working out, playing with the kids. I know I will still need to take it easy once I start to feel normal again. I have never taken more than 7 days off from exercising. I'm not too worried I'll gain weight, I'm more worried I will lose muscle tone and I'm dreading working back up to the level I'm at right now. I know I will be very frustrated. Exercise is my outlet. Maybe I should learn to knit?

Well thanks for reading my ramblings. Off to wake up my loves! Have a great day :)