Finally Getting Rid of This Silicone!

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I created a review yesterday but it did not get...

I created a review yesterday but it did not get approved? I wonder why? Well, here I go again.. I really want to share my story. So 5 years ago I had one session of silicone injections. Spring of 2015, my buns began to itch, a deep internal itch. So uncomfortable. They would also feel hot, my whole body feels warm but my cheeks at times feel on fire. Horrible. I had an MRI done last year and the silicone has spread. I now have discoloration, two large dark rings, one on each cheek. Lumps have been formed & I have many attached to my muscle, including a golf sized ball, which hurts like heck. I went to see dr. Mahira Tonavic ( thanks to west coast mom) she made me feel comfortable and she knows what she is doing. I'm all in. Extremely thankful. Hoping to go forward with the surgery in December. God willing. For those who are going through this, I'd like to say to keep the faith. This is difficult for us all, and please know that you are not alone. I'll be soon taking posting pre op pics.. Stay tuned..

Surgery pushed to January 2017

Due to insurance issues, my surgery will be postponed to January, I'm hoping it doesn't snow much this winter since I'll be driving back & forth to NY.


So here is a pic, it's the best I angle I can take on my own ( my bad).. anyway, u can see the purplish discoloration in the middle.. the lump is invisible ( since it's attached to my muscle) please don't mind my panty lines. I'll keep y'all posted! Pray for me!

Settled in

So far so good, the nurses here rock! Ready for surgery which is scheduled for tom. Morning! Lord please watch over me, and others that really need you. Please grant those who are afraid and depressed, mental Peace, and fill their hearts with love, & faith. Please tell your daughters that they'll be ok. In Jesus name, amen. 


Got out about 1 hr ago, surgery went well.. thank you Lord! I'm in so much pain though.. ladies this surgery is NO joke , u must b ready , spiritually, physically & MENTALLY. Prepare yourself by praying & asking our father for strength! Unable to take pics since I could barely move my rear, will post soon as I can. Thank you God, thank you Dr. T for being so compassionate! 

Day II

First Pls excuse my typos, I see last night I posted question marks at the end of my update (blame meds) But anyway, I've been debating on whether to post a pic today, I wasn't expecting to have so much removed since I had one session of shots.. .then I thought to myself, am I being vain? Because that's what got me here in the first place! I'll reiterate the fact that you must mentally & spiritually PREPARE for this. If all you are thinking is "how am I going to look after" you ARE NOT ready. Dig deep, do some soul searching, pray to our loving father so he can give you the courage to move forward.. *WARNING* if you are not ready! You will be severely depressed!!! This will take Time, so get your mind & soul right first! but remember! The more you wait, the worst the outcome.. that's why I say Pray!!! It works for me & it will work for you!!! Just please have faith.. NOT having faith is like trying to drive a car w/o gas! OK so I currently have one cut/slash on each cheek, the doc will be going back in tom. To remove what's left.. the pics are disturbing but remember the wounds are NOT sealed, there's dry blood and I also have plastic covering the drains.. God willing tomorrow, The doc will seal me up.. I have two dents on each side ( that's where the silicone was attached) they removed all of the dead tissue ( which caused discoloration) but saved all of my MUSCLE (which I thought was damaged).. the large hard rock in booty is gone! I'm having throbbing pains in butt area and lower back. I'm glad I had it done this way ( butt slash) because I can't imagine worst lower back pain than this. Last night I was in full tears, slept 1 hr from the discomfort. The doc prescribed same meds they give to cancer patients & I could still feel the pain..

thankfully it's not as bad right now.. the med is so strong that it made me nauseous, sweats, even vomit.. doc switched me over to another med, which will help I'll rcv today at 9, Tylenol through IV ( which is fine) why take something so strong if you're still going to feel the pain? I have to accept that I'll be in pain, w/ or w/o meds. For a bit.. This procedure is a difficult one. Currently on vacs & not draining much ( says the nurse) so hopefully I'll be sealed after surgery tom.

My day: cali mom stopped by & brought me flowers, and many goodies! We even walked the halls, I was able to walk before 24 hours AFTER my surgery.. Doesn't that speak volumes? Thanks cali mom! It's because of you I found dr. Tanovic  s/o to another real self girl that is here! You're doing great sweetheart! Hang in there! God got you!!!

sooooo for the ladies that want to know, how long for bbl, u must wait 3-4 months, the booty must be soft like jello & fully healed so the fat from bbl will stay alive.. For those of you going though this, like Tupac once said "keep your head up" .. Hold & be strong" I will continue to keep you all posted! Feel free to drop private message ( if your embarrassed) I was once there, it's going to be ok.. remember Health comes first! And you are not the only one... as the days go by the numbers are astonishingly growing by the MINUTE.. Special shout out to some awesome nurses, Johnathan, Suzie, Claire, there are a few more, but I can't remember their names!

Ok ladies, will continue to keep you posted! Sending blessings your way!

I forgot

To add: I hope to be sealed & going home w/ drains this wknd.. stay tuned

Encouraging message

I wanted to share this powerful script that is helping me get through this:

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

God bless u my sisters.


I go back in at 8 pm tonight, which is insane.. can't eat until tom. (God willing) This happens when you're an "add on" .. it's fine, I agreed to this, or I would of had to wait longer for removal. the important thing is that my pain is now at a 4.. Haven't taken any meds since 6am. It's definitely an improvement.. God is great! I also met Dr. Hamid who works with dr. Tanovic.. talk about a dynamic duo! He's made me feel comfortable, and knows what he is doing! I didn't drain that much last night so they'll close me & add the drains tonight.. God willing all will go well .. to be continued ..

Quick update

I spoke to dr. T, and she took her time & explained that my case was actually worse than We thought.. the silicone was injected directly into my muscle.. BUT ( thankfully) ????I caught just in time before it traveled to my thighs. However, she did remove muscle ( & tissue) I must of misunderstood hamid ( her assistant) yesterday ( blame meds) . I go back in at 8pm today, he did say it looks "healthy" this morning, but they won't know until they go back in tonight! God got me! I'm in great hands! 

what is it w/ the questions marks after my posts?

Is it the i7? Or is it me? Smh! 2 more hours till surgery & counting 

Awesome nurse! Thank you!

Today I met Deborah, I'm telling y'all, God sends you angels when needed! 

Another update/ today

So I was told that I'm lucky I didn't die on that table, the silicone was injected so deep into muscle that I could have had a convulsion which could have lead to death. I'm so thankful. Lord have mercy. God is so good to me.

Jill please help,

I tried to send you this, please see new pic

Out of second surgery

By the grace of God, all went well. Sealed w/ drains.. Thank you for your prayers.. I'll be monitored for the next few days.. but so far so good.. I have Suzie & Deborah for nurses this evening. The best nurses yet! I'm extremely blessed. Most of the nurses are great, but these two are shining stars. Dr. T, held my hand and told me she'll take good care of me. What an amazing, talented, compassionate woman. Hamid is also fantastic! Thank you Lord for putting these angels in my path.

Ouch, throbbing pains after walks

I never realized having 0 tolerance for pain.. Lord have mercy, thankfully the meds are helping Manage it. Hamid said my rear looks healthy, it's healing nice.. no bruising? Isn't that something?Amen.

I'm waiting to see the dynamic duo ( for f/u) later on today. Want to see what these incisions look like ,

A message from our loving father

for those of you following my journey, just this past Thursday i shared one of my favorite script, Joshua 1:9 .. on Saturday my friend delivered a message from God, see this bracelet? Amazing.. Proof that God is w/us.. I love you Lord Jesus & I know you love me! Please continue to watch over all of your daughters who are currently struggling w/ this. Please Continue to give us hope & faith.

Told you so..

God is greater than all! Going Home tomorrow. I'm beyond blessed. Thank you Jesus, Dr. Tanovic & Hamid aka the dynamic duo! For those of you going through it! Never lose your faith! God is great.. I'm going home w/ drains & yes, GOD willing they'll be removed in 2 weeks!!! Stay prayed up! God first!

Drains, what a pain!

Uncomfortable is an understatement.. having these tubes coming out out of your insides while being attached to plastic grenades feels excruciating! Arghhh! That 4 hour drive home was insane.. Thankfully I was able to lay down in the back seat w/ lots of pillows. One of these suckers popped open and splashed all over the place! Smh. You have to be brave. If it weren't for God, I wouldn't be able to do this. Thank you Lord Jesus. I now definitely have a huge sense of relief, I truly hope the drains come out soon though. There is no way I can go to work, since I'm unable to sit. I'm currently laying on my stomach, something I rarely do! So uncomfty. Laying on my back now is a killer, so NOPE even hurts to lay on my sides. Lord please help me ( and the rest of girls) continue to heal. Overall, the experience was better than expected. The good definitely outweighed the bad. Special s/o to Cali mom & all of the great ladies who made my journey smoother. The nurses also rocked! Remember, God got us girls! We'll be back to normal soon <3 can't wait to see my two earthly heros again, Dr. T & Hamid!

Tough night

gosh that hospital bed was everything. I miss it! The drains kept opening last night, so annoying. I'm in so much pain, not being able to sleep because of these tubes is a nightmare. Don't mean to complain, but this isn't easy. I ended up placing scotch tape on them, smh. It worked ( thank the Lord) the last thing u want to deal w/ is drains that keep popping open. Looks like I'm draining more than I'm supposed too, but it's part of process. I'll be taking it easy until these get removed. Dear Lord, please continue to heal All of your daughters. We need you more than ever. Amen.

Helpful Tips

I've been putting a list together, so y'all can prepare.. I've found these items extremely helpful, some are a must have!

Things you'll need @ home

Toilet seat riser ( not everyone will need this ) some ladies are able to sit after surgery.

regular size pillows ( 3-4)
Large body pillow
Boppy pillow
Female urinal ( hospital has these)
Upper body strength ( a must)
Straws ( to make drinking easier)
Women's padded brief ( u can find on Amazon) & can wear these after surgery, or a faja.. these seem to be more comfortable than a faja panty ( imo).

Also, While in hospital I realized, if u Place two pillows, T style , while laying on them, it will help release pressure from lower back area ( very helpful) don't forget a robe & slippers.. you'll want to be comfy after surgery. The docs will make u walk to prevent blood clots.

If I come across anything else, I will def share..

Nightmare in Boston

Drains are a horrible! I haven't been able to sleep.. toss & turn, the pain meds only do so much. I hope people learn from us! And stop getting shots! Ugh! Lord help me! Please! I beg you!


Horrible night, however, God is w/ me. I drained 30/10 last night. Lord please let the same happen tonight or less! Beautiful loving Jesus, I know you're w/me, & I shall be healed soon. Amen.

Clogged drains

This journey is tougher than expected. The pain & agony I've been through is unreal. I know I'll get through this since God got me.. the drains were clogged yesterday, I drove up to ny to have them fixed. These things are beyond annoying. I think they might be clogged up again today, and I'm four hours away. Lord have mercy! :(

How unclog drains

This is extremely important! In order to drain properly, You have to learn how to do this.

Gently squeeze the tubing where the clot is, to loosen it.
Grip the drain with the fingers of one hand, close to where it comes out of your body.
With the fingers of your other hand, squeeze down the length of the tube. Start where it comes out of your body and move toward the drainage bulb. This is called "stripping" the drain.
Release your fingers from the end of the drain where it comes out of your body and then release the end near the bulb.
You might find it easier to strip the drain if you put lotion or hand cleanser on your hands. ( I used purel sanitizer) helps it glide

You actually get to hear a light flushing sound once it clears

Please note* You might do this up to two times ( or more) per day .. if you're lucky, less.

Drains removed!

Thank you Lord Jesus! Oh what a blessing! It feels good to have those tubes removed. Extremely thankful for Dr. Tanovic, she's amazing! Diane ( nurse) another gem! So grateful! Follow up in one month..

Yanked a stitch by mistake!

The gauze pads stick to stitches. Unfortunately, I pulled a stitch yesterday while trying to remove the pad. OUCH. I sent the doc a pic & she said it'll heal fine. Thankfully it was the last corner stitch. This healing process ain't a joke.. I now have my sis changing the gauzes, you definitely need assistance to do this. Today, I had her wet a gauze with water peroxide, she used the wet gauze and patted the one on my skin so it will peel off easily, & it did, Thank God! This pic was taken yesterday, it's more painful than what it looks. Smh, My 0 tolerance for pain doesn't make the situation any better.. u can see the opening here but thankfully today it looked closed. I'll post another pic soon..

On the road to healing

Thankfully, I'm back at work. I have my dear sis helping me change my gauzes. By the grace of God, I'm healing. Walking around like a penguin, but that's ok. It's temporary. Make sure, you have someone who will help you during the first few weeks. You're going to need it.. I also ordered a bbl pillow, so I'm able to sit @ work. It's 100$ but worth it.. I also take the boppy , 2 small & body pillows to work.. You might not need all of these btw.. lol .. but pillows became one of my bestie's after surgery tbh.. it is all about feeling as comfortable as possible. Pic coming soon ( I know some of you are waiting) pls bare w/ me.. I'm waiting for my stitches to Fully heal .. Stay blessed ladies

Finally able to drive

So I was able to drive today, the bbl pillow is a must ladies! Thank the Lord! Feeling extremely blessed.. the stitches are still healing btw.


Haven't posted anything in a bit, there's not much to say. One of the scars is healed the other is scabbing. Once the scab fully heals I'll then post pics. TBH I didn't know I would loose this much muscle. It was a tough pill to swallow at first.. but the important thing is now I am toxic free. I know dr. T will hook me up w/ the plump! I'm not worried about it, at the end of the day, God got me, so I'm good :)

Good to go!

Hello ladies, By the grace of God I got some great news yesterday! My bbl has been scheduled for next month. I'm extremely Blessed, Beyond grateful. I thank you Lord, Without you this wouldn't be possible ! This was unexpected considering I had surgery last month. But I always keep the faith! Here's a pic, unfortunately the scabby scar still needs to heal a tad bit more. Overall, all is well.. I love me some dr. T, and her team rock!!! :)


Talk about ARGH!!!!!! I refuse to get angry, but WHY??? SO um, due to the storm i have been rescheduled for Thursday. The bright side is that, at least it is around the corner, right?... THANK YOU LORD <3

Reconstruction update

I was going to hold off on posting an update, but I know some are waiting.. will post pics when swelling goes down, so I went in Thursday and was d/c Friday. The surgery lasted about 5 hours.. I'm in a lot of pain.. the doc also revised my scars, which hurt like heck. It took me 20 minutes to put on my body faja today. Idk how people wear these things on a regular, so uncomfortable.. I'm praying for strength. This process ain't no joke, Lord have mercy. Proceed at your own risk.

Day 3 post update

Good evening ladies,

Well thankfully today I'm not having as much pain as yesterday. Thank God! I also realized that I should of purchased and xl salomone faja. The large i have is tiny, not to mention I'm a truly a size M. The faja material is sturdy but they run very small, so if you're going to buy one, Order two sizes up. I'm still swollen since it's only day 3. I plan to go bk to work later this week, most likely part time for the first few days. God willing...


I'm having mixed emotions.. all I have to say for now is that, if I could turn back time, I would. DEEP SIGH

Better days ahead

This has been a tough journey for us all. There will be good and bad days, remember it is this thing we call "Life". Earlier this week I was agitated, I was beginning to lose focus on what's important, Which is being healthy, Being able to live life knowing your toxic free! Unfortunately we have to deal with the outcome, but at least we're alive and will be able to do so. Let's come together and build each other during these troubled times. It will get better, you just have to BELIEVE.. have a blessed day ladies

3 week post reconstruction bbl

Hello ladies,

Feeling better these days, very thankful, taking it one day at a time. I know some of you have been waiting patiently to see the infamous bbl reconstruction pics.. so here is A pic, tbh I see do not see much of a difference, I've been using cocoa butter along with bio oil for the scars.. hopefully they'll lighten up, God willing. I currently have a large lump on my stomach ( under belly button) from bbl, I've been trying to rub it out, ouch.. I do not think I will have another bbl, too painful.. and by the looks of it, I might need 2-3 more bbls in order to fit my jeans properly.. a lot of the bbl fat dissolves. Even with the faja, remember this isn't an average bbl..
unfortunately I still have sunken areas, which were expected due to muscle removal. But dang! I did expect more fullness.. welp.. My scars also look longer than before the revision, about 2-3 inches longer. *blank stare* I now see why girls never post "after pics" , because there's really not much of a difference after the first bbl.. I'll be following up with another surgeon, once I heal.

I Thank the Lord for giving me the strength and patience to handle this situation. When able, I will start to work out whatever is leftover back there .. Lord have mercy.. this hasn't been easy, but nothing is too difficult when you BELIEVE and know that our loving father will always take care of you.. this experience has been very traumatic.. and if I wasn't mentally and spiritually ready, I'd be one depressed soul..

I came across a story on social network the other day and it's sad to say but girls still want shots! with all this info out there! The madness must stop!
I pray for girls who want to get injections, Lord please reach out to them and change their way of thinking..

This is nothing to play with, forget what society wants you to look like, they will not be the ones paying with their LIFE..


Ok, so it has been about month and unfortunately, all of the harvested fat died and there is no way I’m getting another bbl. (especially w/ dr. Tanovic) also my left scar still hurts like heck. And that is because 2-3 inches was added to the original scar (during the revision). If I could go back, I would go see Mir, but it’s too late for that. Overall, I am thankful that I got the junk out. Lesson learned, never trust a doctor that bad mouths her former colleague. She has the AUDACITY to talk about Mir’s scars, but hers are 10x worse.. THE NERVE OF THIS WOMAN. In this case, it was all about the money. Dr. T is nothing but a HUSTLER, yes she removes the poison, BUT>> WARNING: your booty will be slaughtered. She doesn’t even care to follow up with her patients. I wonder if her eyes are even open while making these incisions.. I have spoken to other girls (dr. tanovic patients) who are not happy with their outcome; some are still leaking (draining) even though their surgery was done months ago. And the nurse Diane, will tell you that “EVERYTHING IS NORMAL” even if you are not feeling well, I spoke to a girl who has a pocket filled with fluid and is on her way to ER. She called Diane, and Diane said “ITS NORMAL”.. IT IS NOT NORMAL to have pockets filled with fluid after removal, not when you have the DRAINS still in place! HOW BIZARRE, I am sorry if I led anyone to see this doctor, I regret going to her myself. These women are nothing but cons, getting that insurance $$$$$$...SO PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH before selecting a doctor.
For those girls who are depressed, unhappy, feeling insecure, please dig deep down, by taking a deep breath, please know that you are beautiful, one day this scarred up body that once had poison in it, will become new again, I believe. You should too. This world sucks, vanity, tears and pain belong to this world, but we belong to JESUS, and he will help us GET THROUGH THIS.. God bless you all, stay strong.

My first bill

I posted an update a few minutes ago, but I think it was monitored. I'll admit, I am livid. I recieved my first bill from the first surgery. Removal only. I am sick. So sick. My heart hurts. I know God has my back. And he makes me strong. And this right here is DEAD WRONG.

Antibiotic for Lymph nodes

So I've been at the docs twice this past week, I'm now on two different antibiotics. My body is fighting an infection, my doc told me it has to do with the bbl reconstruction. I wasn't supposed to be operated on so soon. My body was still healing. I just hope to the Lord that I feel better soon. The second surgery has taken a serious toll on my body. Lord have mercy.

Update/ went to see NEW DOC

So the good news is that there is a doc, by the name of orgill that can possibly remove silicone, for those interested call brigham and women hospital, Boston, MA. I WISH I FOUND THIS DOC BEFORE DR. SLASH THE CON AKA TANOVIC. I am sooooooooooooooooooooo drained, only the Lord knows. The doc said he wouldn't be able to do anything for at least a year. The nodes are still in place, i got to see my pcp tom. Lord have mercy, i cannot wait to feel normal again. At this rate i would of kept the silicone until further notice. I REGRET GOING TO TANOVIC MORE THAN I REGRET THE SILICONE INJECTIONS. LE sigh
Dr. Mahira Tonavic

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