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..... :-)
One more thing .... I feel
Sexy, desirable , smart, confident and it's my story - I wouldn't change anything now, I had to live it. I could sit and wish I never did it but then that girl had nooo idea, it happened the way it did and that's that!! I accept it, I don't feel that anger of why did I ? anymore....
It's more a matter of owning it, my journey... I am Recovered, I am Healed [RS bleep]
Sexy, desirable , smart, confident and it's my story - I wouldn't change anything now, I had to live it. I could sit and wish I never did it but then that girl had nooo idea, it happened the way it did and that's that!! I accept it, I don't feel that anger of why did I ? anymore....
It's more a matter of owning it, my journey... I am Recovered, I am Healed [RS bleep]
2 years on & no regrets :-)
Here are some current pictures of my fresh natural boobies ...
I like to come back now and again because RealSelf helped me so much at my darkest moments ... I am so glad I removed them & will never understand how crazy I was to get them done in the first place!
I am slowly getting over the shock and anger & I have learned a great deal about self love xxxx
I love every bit of my body and I am slow to act on anything now, I am so into Yoga & finding balance, healthyeating, fitness and personal development ... Love yourself and enjoy life, stop fixating on your looks and appearance , go out into the world and make a difference, embrace your talents, educate yourself, see the world... There is a great beautiful world out there and you certainly don't need to butcher yourself to enjoy it more... Your are beautiful , YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Stay Calm, Stay positive.... All the right things will happen for you at the right time - Stop fighting life and Just Be Happy [RS bleep]
All my love....
From me X
Freedom is Love
I like to come back now and again because RealSelf helped me so much at my darkest moments ... I am so glad I removed them & will never understand how crazy I was to get them done in the first place!
I am slowly getting over the shock and anger & I have learned a great deal about self love xxxx
I love every bit of my body and I am slow to act on anything now, I am so into Yoga & finding balance, healthyeating, fitness and personal development ... Love yourself and enjoy life, stop fixating on your looks and appearance , go out into the world and make a difference, embrace your talents, educate yourself, see the world... There is a great beautiful world out there and you certainly don't need to butcher yourself to enjoy it more... Your are beautiful , YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Stay Calm, Stay positive.... All the right things will happen for you at the right time - Stop fighting life and Just Be Happy [RS bleep]
All my love....
From me X
Freedom is Love
8 months later.... :3
Hey girlies,
Just thought I'd check in.... Wow! It's been 8 months now,, visiting RealSelf again has been on my mind recently ... I just have to come chat & meet with the community where it all began...the site that helped me so much & a clutch for me through the tough times.. Even down the road....
So Since my Explant iv been feeling awesome! Still horrified about ever getting them done & I don't not even for a minute Regret the move I made. It was so not meant to be :( and I wish even harder everyday that I never tampered with my God given beautiful body.. If anything I spend some mornings after I wake replaying the mistake, the months leading up to my initial BREAST surgery...replaying my thoughts.. Wishing with every piece of me that I didn't go ahead with it. Even the day 18th December 2013 strikes chords with me & will be a red flag day for my entire life. The day I allowed some stranger surgeon to hack into my rib cage & slice away at my intact perfect unique muscles, nerves, tissues & skin for I don't know what reason! The emotions still run wild through me even this far down the road... I feel unhappy , nostalgic, disfigured when I look at images of myself before this.. I dislike how I can never get her back again & I ruined her purity...i think about how I let someone stretch my Breast skin so barbarically & tear away at my delicate nerve system around my breasts, they were so sensitive & now that has been almost diminished. I get soooo unhappy & sad about the whole horrible stupid ordeal & I just wish I gave it more thought! I just didn't. And yes while I am a survivor , a victor ... I came back to the site today to share that I still get really down about it wishing so bad to turn back time & do things differently :(
I let myself down so badly. but I also want to say that I do fight away the dark moments.
Being the positive person I am especially after such an ordeal you HAVE to be positive - I begin to give thanks & be grateful.
To sit back & realise that there is not one person on this planet that is never going to make a mistake or do something they wish with every inch of their being that they didn't do it. And some people don't even get the choice to fix it... There is great sadness in this world & I just want to be grateful that I am so blessed & not focus on the little things but to be a warrior & bask in the radiance of overcoming & rather to be a help then a misery.
I sit back and I begin to be Grateful that I could get explant done, that it was a success & my breasts look good despite the trauma; that even though I lost sensitivity & feel less feminine I am grateful that I have a caring boyfriend, he kisses them tenderly & I forget ... Because it feels wonderful, our sex life is amazing. He has so much respect for me & admires my bravery to be Real & that is something he supports...he stood by me through it all, from the beginning when I completely ignored him about getting them in the 1st place right to when I got them explanted. I give thanks for my blessings, provision , my loving boyfriend & family & my body... Every corner of it. I am so grateful for my life and this experience taught me to see myself in a whole different way. I truly love myself in a healthy way...something I never did before the surgery. I love & appreciate all the great people in my life, something I took for granted. It's just amazing how something as devastating as this needed to happen for me to change for the better. I have another chance to enjoy and value the life & time I got on this earth.
Just thought I'd check in.... Wow! It's been 8 months now,, visiting RealSelf again has been on my mind recently ... I just have to come chat & meet with the community where it all began...the site that helped me so much & a clutch for me through the tough times.. Even down the road....
So Since my Explant iv been feeling awesome! Still horrified about ever getting them done & I don't not even for a minute Regret the move I made. It was so not meant to be :( and I wish even harder everyday that I never tampered with my God given beautiful body.. If anything I spend some mornings after I wake replaying the mistake, the months leading up to my initial BREAST surgery...replaying my thoughts.. Wishing with every piece of me that I didn't go ahead with it. Even the day 18th December 2013 strikes chords with me & will be a red flag day for my entire life. The day I allowed some stranger surgeon to hack into my rib cage & slice away at my intact perfect unique muscles, nerves, tissues & skin for I don't know what reason! The emotions still run wild through me even this far down the road... I feel unhappy , nostalgic, disfigured when I look at images of myself before this.. I dislike how I can never get her back again & I ruined her purity...i think about how I let someone stretch my Breast skin so barbarically & tear away at my delicate nerve system around my breasts, they were so sensitive & now that has been almost diminished. I get soooo unhappy & sad about the whole horrible stupid ordeal & I just wish I gave it more thought! I just didn't. And yes while I am a survivor , a victor ... I came back to the site today to share that I still get really down about it wishing so bad to turn back time & do things differently :(
I let myself down so badly. but I also want to say that I do fight away the dark moments.
Being the positive person I am especially after such an ordeal you HAVE to be positive - I begin to give thanks & be grateful.
To sit back & realise that there is not one person on this planet that is never going to make a mistake or do something they wish with every inch of their being that they didn't do it. And some people don't even get the choice to fix it... There is great sadness in this world & I just want to be grateful that I am so blessed & not focus on the little things but to be a warrior & bask in the radiance of overcoming & rather to be a help then a misery.
I sit back and I begin to be Grateful that I could get explant done, that it was a success & my breasts look good despite the trauma; that even though I lost sensitivity & feel less feminine I am grateful that I have a caring boyfriend, he kisses them tenderly & I forget ... Because it feels wonderful, our sex life is amazing. He has so much respect for me & admires my bravery to be Real & that is something he supports...he stood by me through it all, from the beginning when I completely ignored him about getting them in the 1st place right to when I got them explanted. I give thanks for my blessings, provision , my loving boyfriend & family & my body... Every corner of it. I am so grateful for my life and this experience taught me to see myself in a whole different way. I truly love myself in a healthy way...something I never did before the surgery. I love & appreciate all the great people in my life, something I took for granted. It's just amazing how something as devastating as this needed to happen for me to change for the better. I have another chance to enjoy and value the life & time I got on this earth.
Provider Review
The Best surgeon you will ever want to meet...... He is a great listener, very calming, skilful and most importantly he is an Honest surgeon...I feel very blessed to have met Mr Nicholas Collis (Nuffield Health Hospital - Newcastle, United Kingdom)