Explanted over 8 Months Ago

I've been going back and forth about writing a review but because everyone else's helped me so much I felt kinda guilty not giving back, and honestly I can't say I'm as happy as most. Some days im completely relieved and other days im a bit disappointed with my outcome. But here's a little bit of my story.

I got my implants at 19. I never really minded being small chested but I was pretty uneven and that really bothered me. I was a small a cup on one side and my left boob was completely flat. My surgeon never told me this til after explant that my left side was actually constricted, it never looked tubular because I was so small and I never even knew but I always felt something was wrong with the left especially after the implants. Anyways, even tho I never cared about being small when I got my implants I felt I needed to go as big as I could. My surgeon actually felt 275cc moderate profile should of been what I got but I was stuck on a number and I really liked the 375 moderate plus and to my surprise he stuffed them in there lol. After the surgery my left side just never felt right from the beginning and it looked even more uneven than before the implants. There were times I really thought my sugeon put a smaller implant on that side when in reality it was over filled to 385. I started to also notice when I raised my arms the left one had a dent right under the nipple and it never rounded out at the bottom like my right side. I was happy to finally have boobs but I was also so disappointed. My boyfriend (now husband) never wanted me to do it in the first place! He was terrified something would go wrong and new we'd never have the money for redo' s in the future but I didn't care, I thought he'd love me more or something if I looked more like everyone else. I was so insecure. 

Along with the dent my left always stayed painful and kept drifting further towards my armpit, it got to a point that when I'd lay down I could literally feel it slide under my arm. I wanted them redone so badly because I felt more insecure than ever but I just didn't have the money. 3 and a half years later I got to a very depressed state and began to have horrible anxiety attacks and cried most days about it so I decided explant was my only option. I was so tired of dealing with this and I wanted my body back. My husband wasn't so onboard at first because like he was afraid of the first surgery, he was more afraid of how I'd look after. He went with me to talk to my plastic surgeon about my options and to ask maybe why I had the problems I did but my ps kept going back to the size I chose and that maybe if I went smaller and switched to silicone I'd be happier but couldn't really tell me why the dent was there and thought maybe it was my muscle. For one thing I didn't have the money to have them switched to smaller and another thing, I didn't wanna pay all that and still have the dent and one floating under my armpit! 

So I asked about straight up removal and he said that was definitely an option and that I should go back to my pre ba state! I was so happy and relieved. My surgeon was so nice and answered all my questions and took his time with me. He met back with me for multiple consults just to set my mind at ease and didn't act like he minded at all and he was doing it for free. My only cost was cost of the hospital fee and anesthesia. Even tho he was so nice he wasn't very knowledgeable about my condition because after explant the dent is still there but even worse! You can see it when my arms are even down and I'm super uneven! That's when we figured out it was the constriction causing the dent. I asked about releasing the constriction now but he seems to think that since an implant isn't there that it would just come back but idk. The size difference wouldn't bother me so bad if I didn't have the dent. I just don't know what to do. When I came to the conclusion I wanted my implants out my husband was completely onboard as long as I promised no more implants and that I'd leave things alone but this dent really gets me down. It's exhausting. Anyways, I thought people needed to hear the bad side of things too. Am I glad my implants are out? Yea, most days. Do I love my new appearance? No. If the dent went away I could honestly say I'd be ecstatic but that just isn't the case for me.

I almost forgot to post my stats!
I'm 5'1
110 lbs
24 and no kids!
I had 375cc smooth saline mentor under the muscle and was implanted and explanted through the armpit!