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5 Month Update and What I've Learned Since Having Big Boobs!
Alright ladies, it's been a long time since I've updated this and that's for a few reasons. Firstly, I went through a period where I was disappointed in the size of my breasts and I didn't want to post anything negative because I figured it was just a phase (it was) and that it would pass (it has). I did not want to have a recollection of feeling depressed about them so I did not post anything.
Secondly, because I felt disappointed in them I also did not want to look at other peoples stories or read anything or see anyone else's implants and feel sad, or jealous, or upset about it. I was actually so afraid to look at other breasts I just tried to avoid it completely. I would say I had a bit of body dysmorphia in the way I actually looked. I honestly felt this way for the past few months and I realize now that was for a few reasons, I believed some "myths" about breast implants, and my boobs, and boobs in general that were just not true. Below I have included the myths I believed and the actual truth behind the matter:
Myth 1: Booking surgery far in advance is a benefit so you can plan everything.
Reality: I think I had too much time to think about everything, to plan everything, and to prepare, and to worry and to scrutinize every single detail. I am a detail oriented person and this actually played against me. Because I had so much time to prepare I was agonizing over 485cc or 550cc or 500cc or 600cc or this or that or the other thing. I had literally planned out every detail in my head about everything, and you know what, that's what I paid $8500 to my surgeon for - so he could deal with that, not me.
Some advice: Realize you are not a surgeon, your job as a patient is to make the best possible decision with as much information as you can about picking the right surgeon. It's the Surgeons job to worry about all of the details, Your job is to follow his or her instructions and focus on a healthy recovery. Think about how you want to look after your surgery and come prepared to your surgeon with THAT information. That is the most important because then your Surgeon will determine how many cc's you firstly can fit into your body (it doesn't always mean the number you want it to mean) and secondly the shape and size that will work for the look You want.
This is much easier said than done if you are like me, but how I wish I would have combated this is to book my surgery much sooner. The less time between going in for a consultation and booking a surgery means less time to worry and fret and plan and agonize.
Myth 2: You won't get boob envy because you know exactly what you want (because you've had so much time to plan!)
Reality: After the surgery I did not want to see other people's before and afters or breasts at all in general because I thought mine were so small that it would make me feel depressed or sad or jealous. I spent the last 27 years being jealous of other women breasts, I thought all of that would change with my surgery and I did not want to feel any of those ways after.
Some advice: I think it was wise of me to take some time away from this site and any other thing to do with breast implants (instagram, pinterest, etc.) and to let mine heal so I could actually see what they look like now and not compare my very fresh boobs to ones that have been settled and in much longer and look much softer, fuller and shapely. When I first got the surgery I put on a bra I thought would look amazing, and it looked terrible. It was a lace cup with underwire and it was loose and hanging off my breasts, just how it was before I had the surgery. I was heartbroken. I tried the bra on the other day, just randomly, and my girls fill the cups out and then some! I didn't realize before how stiff my breasts were compared to how soft they are now and how the shape has changed so dramatically. I didn't realize it but I never had under-boob at first, and now I do. My breasts have settled down so much more and actually sit the way they're supposed to.
I also remember crying to my boyfriend and saying, "Oh my god it doesn't even look like I had them done." I just laugh at that now, how silly I must have sounded but how seriously I believed that. The best thing for me was to do a side by side comparison to actually see that there was a difference. When something is permanently attached to you it becomes very difficult to see the day to day and week to week changes that progress photos reveal without having those photos to go by. It can be really easy to be in your own head about it.
Myth 3: I will never have to wear a push up bra ever again because I have big boobs.
Reality: I actually believed this thoroughly. I went to my check-up with my PS and complained to him that I thought they were too small (he showed me my before and afters and I realize how ridiculous that was then as well) and he said that I could wear a push up bra to make them look even bigger. I thought, "what...why would I do that? I just paid to have this done they should be perfect!!" But he was right, I can make them look much bigger if I put on a push up bra. I can have crazy amazing cleavage if I want to, and I can just leave 'em be if I want to as well. I actually have choices!
Some advice: Talk to a friend who has had big breasts longer than you and who's cleavage/breasts/underboob you admire and ask them what they do to get that. My friend (the one who told me about band size changing with cup size) has been a godsend for me in giving me advice, and guess what, she's got big boobs and she wears push up bras as well. It's totally okay to wear a push up bra and to rock your big boobs. When you take the push up bra off they'll still be big and you won't have to feel like you're wearing a couch because you'll only need a slight push up and maybe not the 3 cups bigger they make nowadays.
Myth 4: I can wear whatever I want and it will look amazing and all my old clothes will look incredible.
Reality: Your shape will change with breast implants. I used to be very rectangular before, and my hips haven't changed, but my upper half has. I used to wear very flowy shirts, very boxy, not form fitting because I didn't want anyone to know I didn't have boobs so I tried to hide them under extra material.
Some advice: A few weekends ago I spent literally 2 days reading about what looks good on big boobs online. There was all sorts of interesting information, lots about how to hide them (but hello, I just got them done to show them off) and some about what looks great on big boobs. Read as much as you can about what to wear now and go through your entire closet and get rid of things that don't. I spent some time crying in my closet a few weeks ago because nothing I owned looked good on me. Instead of continuing to cry, I did some research and ended up selling literally half my clothes because I realized they just weren't going to work for me anymore. Then I used that money to go and buy some shirts and dresses that will work. Honestly, the clothes I own now are not at all anything I would even consider trying on before, but remember I've had a lifetime of dressing for my old body, I've only had a few months of dressing for my new body and without any direction or guidance until recently.
Myth 5: All bathing suits will look amazing on me, just like they do on the Victoria's Secret models.
Reality: Go look on VS website and you'll see that the models on the website don't actually have boobs!! This was a shocker to me, because I have spent Forever being jealous of their boobs and their bodies. Now that I see that they don't have boobs, I am not jealous, and I kind of find it funny. Their flat model chests were staring me in the face my entire life, but it took until like last week for me to realize it.
Some advice: Get a bathing suit with some underwire, big boobs need support! And try on the bathing suit before you buy it, I don't think I'll ever be able to buy swim suits online ever again because they'll be too small for my boobs, and I am totally okay with that lol.
Well that's all from me for now, I'll update more with some more myths and some awesome advice I found for dressing the girls when I have more time to write. I hope this update and the photos help all of you out there getting surgeries soon. Take my advice, relax and just let the process happen, if you pick a great surgeon you'll be in a great hands!
Secondly, because I felt disappointed in them I also did not want to look at other peoples stories or read anything or see anyone else's implants and feel sad, or jealous, or upset about it. I was actually so afraid to look at other breasts I just tried to avoid it completely. I would say I had a bit of body dysmorphia in the way I actually looked. I honestly felt this way for the past few months and I realize now that was for a few reasons, I believed some "myths" about breast implants, and my boobs, and boobs in general that were just not true. Below I have included the myths I believed and the actual truth behind the matter:
Myth 1: Booking surgery far in advance is a benefit so you can plan everything.
Reality: I think I had too much time to think about everything, to plan everything, and to prepare, and to worry and to scrutinize every single detail. I am a detail oriented person and this actually played against me. Because I had so much time to prepare I was agonizing over 485cc or 550cc or 500cc or 600cc or this or that or the other thing. I had literally planned out every detail in my head about everything, and you know what, that's what I paid $8500 to my surgeon for - so he could deal with that, not me.
Some advice: Realize you are not a surgeon, your job as a patient is to make the best possible decision with as much information as you can about picking the right surgeon. It's the Surgeons job to worry about all of the details, Your job is to follow his or her instructions and focus on a healthy recovery. Think about how you want to look after your surgery and come prepared to your surgeon with THAT information. That is the most important because then your Surgeon will determine how many cc's you firstly can fit into your body (it doesn't always mean the number you want it to mean) and secondly the shape and size that will work for the look You want.
This is much easier said than done if you are like me, but how I wish I would have combated this is to book my surgery much sooner. The less time between going in for a consultation and booking a surgery means less time to worry and fret and plan and agonize.
Myth 2: You won't get boob envy because you know exactly what you want (because you've had so much time to plan!)
Reality: After the surgery I did not want to see other people's before and afters or breasts at all in general because I thought mine were so small that it would make me feel depressed or sad or jealous. I spent the last 27 years being jealous of other women breasts, I thought all of that would change with my surgery and I did not want to feel any of those ways after.
Some advice: I think it was wise of me to take some time away from this site and any other thing to do with breast implants (instagram, pinterest, etc.) and to let mine heal so I could actually see what they look like now and not compare my very fresh boobs to ones that have been settled and in much longer and look much softer, fuller and shapely. When I first got the surgery I put on a bra I thought would look amazing, and it looked terrible. It was a lace cup with underwire and it was loose and hanging off my breasts, just how it was before I had the surgery. I was heartbroken. I tried the bra on the other day, just randomly, and my girls fill the cups out and then some! I didn't realize before how stiff my breasts were compared to how soft they are now and how the shape has changed so dramatically. I didn't realize it but I never had under-boob at first, and now I do. My breasts have settled down so much more and actually sit the way they're supposed to.
I also remember crying to my boyfriend and saying, "Oh my god it doesn't even look like I had them done." I just laugh at that now, how silly I must have sounded but how seriously I believed that. The best thing for me was to do a side by side comparison to actually see that there was a difference. When something is permanently attached to you it becomes very difficult to see the day to day and week to week changes that progress photos reveal without having those photos to go by. It can be really easy to be in your own head about it.
Myth 3: I will never have to wear a push up bra ever again because I have big boobs.
Reality: I actually believed this thoroughly. I went to my check-up with my PS and complained to him that I thought they were too small (he showed me my before and afters and I realize how ridiculous that was then as well) and he said that I could wear a push up bra to make them look even bigger. I thought, "what...why would I do that? I just paid to have this done they should be perfect!!" But he was right, I can make them look much bigger if I put on a push up bra. I can have crazy amazing cleavage if I want to, and I can just leave 'em be if I want to as well. I actually have choices!
Some advice: Talk to a friend who has had big breasts longer than you and who's cleavage/breasts/underboob you admire and ask them what they do to get that. My friend (the one who told me about band size changing with cup size) has been a godsend for me in giving me advice, and guess what, she's got big boobs and she wears push up bras as well. It's totally okay to wear a push up bra and to rock your big boobs. When you take the push up bra off they'll still be big and you won't have to feel like you're wearing a couch because you'll only need a slight push up and maybe not the 3 cups bigger they make nowadays.
Myth 4: I can wear whatever I want and it will look amazing and all my old clothes will look incredible.
Reality: Your shape will change with breast implants. I used to be very rectangular before, and my hips haven't changed, but my upper half has. I used to wear very flowy shirts, very boxy, not form fitting because I didn't want anyone to know I didn't have boobs so I tried to hide them under extra material.
Some advice: A few weekends ago I spent literally 2 days reading about what looks good on big boobs online. There was all sorts of interesting information, lots about how to hide them (but hello, I just got them done to show them off) and some about what looks great on big boobs. Read as much as you can about what to wear now and go through your entire closet and get rid of things that don't. I spent some time crying in my closet a few weeks ago because nothing I owned looked good on me. Instead of continuing to cry, I did some research and ended up selling literally half my clothes because I realized they just weren't going to work for me anymore. Then I used that money to go and buy some shirts and dresses that will work. Honestly, the clothes I own now are not at all anything I would even consider trying on before, but remember I've had a lifetime of dressing for my old body, I've only had a few months of dressing for my new body and without any direction or guidance until recently.
Myth 5: All bathing suits will look amazing on me, just like they do on the Victoria's Secret models.
Reality: Go look on VS website and you'll see that the models on the website don't actually have boobs!! This was a shocker to me, because I have spent Forever being jealous of their boobs and their bodies. Now that I see that they don't have boobs, I am not jealous, and I kind of find it funny. Their flat model chests were staring me in the face my entire life, but it took until like last week for me to realize it.
Some advice: Get a bathing suit with some underwire, big boobs need support! And try on the bathing suit before you buy it, I don't think I'll ever be able to buy swim suits online ever again because they'll be too small for my boobs, and I am totally okay with that lol.
Well that's all from me for now, I'll update more with some more myths and some awesome advice I found for dressing the girls when I have more time to write. I hope this update and the photos help all of you out there getting surgeries soon. Take my advice, relax and just let the process happen, if you pick a great surgeon you'll be in a great hands!
Getting Much Better
So I've had a pretty good week of recovery, I definitely could not have gone back to work right away. I slept a lot, and every time I feel that my body is tired I take a nap and just try to listen to what will make me heal.
I had a water blister on my left breast above my incision. It was actually my own fault, you are supposed to apply a panty liner above your incision to protect it from chafing on bra line, and I did that but I didn't remove the plastic backing because I was worried the sticky side would attach to my skin or tape and would hurt. It caused a water blister from the heat of skin not being able to breathe, so don't do that. I texted my PS the image and he replied that afternoon saying it's okay, not normal, but just to let it heal on it's own. It went away after a few days.
I had zingers this week, it feels like your muscle is pulling when you move in a certain way. They're a great indicator of recovery though because every time I would sit up I would get them in the bottom of my breasts, but then they slowed down and now I don't have them at all.
I am starting to get feeling back in my breasts, my nipples have been on fire, which I think is what happens when your nerves reattach. I would be sitting around with our roommates and all of a sudden would shout or swear because they were so shockingly painful like a jolt of lightning in the nipple. It only lasted a second each time but it was painful. To calm the burning I used ice packs religiously. I also use Arnica cream and that has been a god send as well. One night about 4 days in my nipples were on fire all night and nothing I did was helping. I got maybe an hour of sleep that night.
I was off T3 after 2 days, and they are right the narcotics really do bung you up, I had to take laxatives, and prune juice, and eat Shreddies or anything with fibre to get things working again. Now I just take tylenol extra strength (because that's all we have) if I know I'm going to do a lot of walking, as a preventative measure as they can get sore after that. Otherwise I'm off pain meds entirely.
I still have to sleep propped up, I called my PS office and was cleared to sleep on my back with no elevation, or on my side, if I wanted to. I tried it and slept on my back one night. I had a good sleep, but I paid dearly for it the next day. I was the most sore I've been, at the top of my breasts. It felt awful, it hurt to even breathe the next day. I don't think the implants are ready to not be elevated yet, so I've been sleeping propped up ever since and will probably continue to do so for a few more weeks.
My breasts are getting squishier and softer every day. I remove my tape tomorrow and start massages, so I'm looking forward to that to help soften them up. I've been putting vitamin e/tea tree oil mix on them and that helps as well. I think they were so sore at first because of the skin stretching, but I've had no stretch marks at all, and keeping the skin hydrated has helped a lot.
I went and tried on some bras and bathing suits at the mall on Friday just to get out of the house. I was a 38B before the surgery, and went with my friend to see what size I am. Luckily she already has large breasts because I went for the 38D and she's like, "No the band will be too big now for you." I was confused but she explained that when you go up in cup sizes (she gained 20 lbs to discover this) the cups are so much larger that you don't need as big of a band. I brought a 38d and a 36d to test this out. She was right the 38 band size was huge. She had to go and get me a 36dd and although the band size fit great, the cups were actually a bit too small. Yay! I'm sure when they settle down some more that will probably be my size and I am ecstatic about it!
Then I went and tried on bathing suits. Girls my life changed. I can wear The cutest bathing suits, the cute strapless ones that I could never wear before! Everything looked so amazing! Then I went and tried on strapless dresses because we're going to a fancy event in April and need a cocktail dress. I was in heaven. I can't wait to go back to the mall!!!
My boyfriend has done an amazing job looking after me, as I was unable to even sit up by myself so he would sit me up and get me water, cook all the meals (which I usually do I love to cook), be on top of my pain meds, get me ice packs, make sure the alternate ice pack was in the freezer cooling for me, open and close doors for me, flush the toilet for me lol. You definitely need someone to help you, you'll be so happy for it so you can just focus on recovery. He's going away for work this week though so I'm on my own, I'm going to try driving tomorrow which I'm sure will be fine.
I'll update when there's more progress :)
I had a water blister on my left breast above my incision. It was actually my own fault, you are supposed to apply a panty liner above your incision to protect it from chafing on bra line, and I did that but I didn't remove the plastic backing because I was worried the sticky side would attach to my skin or tape and would hurt. It caused a water blister from the heat of skin not being able to breathe, so don't do that. I texted my PS the image and he replied that afternoon saying it's okay, not normal, but just to let it heal on it's own. It went away after a few days.
I had zingers this week, it feels like your muscle is pulling when you move in a certain way. They're a great indicator of recovery though because every time I would sit up I would get them in the bottom of my breasts, but then they slowed down and now I don't have them at all.
I am starting to get feeling back in my breasts, my nipples have been on fire, which I think is what happens when your nerves reattach. I would be sitting around with our roommates and all of a sudden would shout or swear because they were so shockingly painful like a jolt of lightning in the nipple. It only lasted a second each time but it was painful. To calm the burning I used ice packs religiously. I also use Arnica cream and that has been a god send as well. One night about 4 days in my nipples were on fire all night and nothing I did was helping. I got maybe an hour of sleep that night.
I was off T3 after 2 days, and they are right the narcotics really do bung you up, I had to take laxatives, and prune juice, and eat Shreddies or anything with fibre to get things working again. Now I just take tylenol extra strength (because that's all we have) if I know I'm going to do a lot of walking, as a preventative measure as they can get sore after that. Otherwise I'm off pain meds entirely.
I still have to sleep propped up, I called my PS office and was cleared to sleep on my back with no elevation, or on my side, if I wanted to. I tried it and slept on my back one night. I had a good sleep, but I paid dearly for it the next day. I was the most sore I've been, at the top of my breasts. It felt awful, it hurt to even breathe the next day. I don't think the implants are ready to not be elevated yet, so I've been sleeping propped up ever since and will probably continue to do so for a few more weeks.
My breasts are getting squishier and softer every day. I remove my tape tomorrow and start massages, so I'm looking forward to that to help soften them up. I've been putting vitamin e/tea tree oil mix on them and that helps as well. I think they were so sore at first because of the skin stretching, but I've had no stretch marks at all, and keeping the skin hydrated has helped a lot.
I went and tried on some bras and bathing suits at the mall on Friday just to get out of the house. I was a 38B before the surgery, and went with my friend to see what size I am. Luckily she already has large breasts because I went for the 38D and she's like, "No the band will be too big now for you." I was confused but she explained that when you go up in cup sizes (she gained 20 lbs to discover this) the cups are so much larger that you don't need as big of a band. I brought a 38d and a 36d to test this out. She was right the 38 band size was huge. She had to go and get me a 36dd and although the band size fit great, the cups were actually a bit too small. Yay! I'm sure when they settle down some more that will probably be my size and I am ecstatic about it!
Then I went and tried on bathing suits. Girls my life changed. I can wear The cutest bathing suits, the cute strapless ones that I could never wear before! Everything looked so amazing! Then I went and tried on strapless dresses because we're going to a fancy event in April and need a cocktail dress. I was in heaven. I can't wait to go back to the mall!!!
My boyfriend has done an amazing job looking after me, as I was unable to even sit up by myself so he would sit me up and get me water, cook all the meals (which I usually do I love to cook), be on top of my pain meds, get me ice packs, make sure the alternate ice pack was in the freezer cooling for me, open and close doors for me, flush the toilet for me lol. You definitely need someone to help you, you'll be so happy for it so you can just focus on recovery. He's going away for work this week though so I'm on my own, I'm going to try driving tomorrow which I'm sure will be fine.
I'll update when there's more progress :)
Feeling Better
I'm definitely feeling better today! Yesterday I threw up, I don't know if it was the pain meds or what it was, but something did not agree with me. I slept more and that seemed to help a lot, and I'm off the T3's now and I think that's also helping. Right now I'm just taking extra strength tylenol every 5 hours-ish, just to manage the swelling.
The girls are moving closer together, I wake up every day and they're a little softer and a little closer, which is pretty cool. The bruising is worse today, but it's to be expected, and they are feeling better, still tight but not as painful at all. Pain is at a 1 and only when I stand up or move quickly.
My boyfriend washed my hair today for me, so I feel a little better from that. Too bad he didn't know how to braid hair lol! He has to help me dress, but I am seeing little improvements such as I can flush the toilet handle now, I can close and open doors depending on where their handle is, I can get up so long as I'm not laying down too far. I still can't lift my arms above my head, or dress myself, the boyfriend has to help with that, but hopefully I'll be able to do those things soon.
Pain was pretty bad on Day 2 the evening I wrote the last update, I think it's because the band of the sports bra I was wearing was just too tight. Switched back to the Genie Bra and that has helped a lot, no more pain on the incision sites or anything. If I have any pain I just ice the girls and they feel good again.
I have also noticed I've had very oily skin the last few days. My BFF says it's probably from being indoors as normally my skin is so incredibly dry that it produces oil and I don't even notice it from going outside and such, but because I've been in the house there's been nothing to dry my skin out. I also have a bit of acne on my left breast from where the Genie Bra is rubbing against my skin.
I don't have a whole ton of feeling in my breasts still, but the feeling is slowly coming back, I am confident it will eventually come back! I'll also post some more pics later!
The girls are moving closer together, I wake up every day and they're a little softer and a little closer, which is pretty cool. The bruising is worse today, but it's to be expected, and they are feeling better, still tight but not as painful at all. Pain is at a 1 and only when I stand up or move quickly.
My boyfriend washed my hair today for me, so I feel a little better from that. Too bad he didn't know how to braid hair lol! He has to help me dress, but I am seeing little improvements such as I can flush the toilet handle now, I can close and open doors depending on where their handle is, I can get up so long as I'm not laying down too far. I still can't lift my arms above my head, or dress myself, the boyfriend has to help with that, but hopefully I'll be able to do those things soon.
Pain was pretty bad on Day 2 the evening I wrote the last update, I think it's because the band of the sports bra I was wearing was just too tight. Switched back to the Genie Bra and that has helped a lot, no more pain on the incision sites or anything. If I have any pain I just ice the girls and they feel good again.
I have also noticed I've had very oily skin the last few days. My BFF says it's probably from being indoors as normally my skin is so incredibly dry that it produces oil and I don't even notice it from going outside and such, but because I've been in the house there's been nothing to dry my skin out. I also have a bit of acne on my left breast from where the Genie Bra is rubbing against my skin.
I don't have a whole ton of feeling in my breasts still, but the feeling is slowly coming back, I am confident it will eventually come back! I'll also post some more pics later!
Provider Review
Very professional and kind. Answered questions before I even had to ask them. Was incredibly knowledgeable and very, very kind. Meeting him felt like meeting a caring doctor who wanted only the best for me. Peggy (his receptionist) is also super awesome! Surgery with him was great, I trusted him completely and he made the right choices in size and shape for my body. I went into the initial consult thinking I would be having under the muscle mod+ like every body else, but instead was recommended over the muscle high profile, and they're absolutely perfect. Recovery has been great, and I love them more and more every single day. Thank you Dr. Hasell, you changed my life for the better and gave me a confidence I never knew I could have!