I gave up...Implants removed after 25 years of problems, many surgeries and poor results :(

I don't even know where to start, lol! My first BA...

I don't even know where to start, lol! My first BA was 25 years ago. They were silicone under the muscle. Then the big scare in the news about how dangerous and bad silicone implants were. I panicked of course and so after only having my implants a year, I had them replaced by the same surgeon for saline which he put over the muscles. I am thin and have very little breast tissue. Before having my first BA I had already had 3 babies and breast fed all 3. My already tiny size A cup breast deflated even more! A good friend of mine had her's done and her sister in law worked for the plastic surgeon so I thought it was a good idea for me too. The saline implants never looked natural. I developed capsular contractures in both breasts. They weren't too bad and I didn't have much pain but I looked like I had 2 baseballs on my chest! 

About 5 years ago I decided it was time to replace them since I had had them so long and was hoping for something that would look more natural. I went to one of the best plastic surgeons here in Las Vegas. I had surgery and he put larger silicone implants in over the muscle. Because I'm so thin, I developed severe rippling so after after a little over a year later, he replaced my implants with silicone again but under the muscle. He was hoping the muscle would help hide some of the rippling. It didn't and I developed a capsular contracture in my left breast. This time it was hard and painful. He did several closed capsulotomies over the course of a couple of years. We decided that I should hold out for the FDA to approve the new highly cohesive form stable gummy bear implants and try those. So I waited and I waited. 

Finally they were approved so I went back to see my plastic surgeon. I was very excited. YES!!!! Finally the answer to my prayers had come! My surgery date was scheduled!!! I went in for my pre-op appointment. My surgeon walked in and dropped a huge bomb on me! One I was not prepared for. He told me that he was not impressed by the results he was seeing with the new gummy bear implants. That they still rippled at the top of the breasts due to the anatomical shape. He said for me, they need to be round which has not been released by the manufactures. He went on to recommend that I have the same type implant I already have and because I wanted to go smaller this time (I always felt my others were too large) I should have a breast lift. He said he would use Strattice around the implants to help minimize rippling. I was in shock and didn't know what to say so I agreed. I went home and cried for hours!! How could this be happening after I have waited so long?! Tortured and embarrassed by horribly rippling implants that I felt I had to hide! I had the revision surgery which was just 10 months ago. All went very well. At first I was thrilled with the results but very apprehensive. I always looked great while I still had swelling from the surgery but completely devastated once the swelling diminished and the ripples appeared! This time around was not different unfortunately, After a few months my left breast dropped but my right did not. 

My surgeon did several closed capsulotomies on my right breast to loosen up the scar tissue and the Strattice in hope it would help my implant drop. To this date my right implant has not dropped. I discovered a hard lump in my right breast about 4 weeks ago. I have been going through every imaginable test since then. Mammogram, ultrasounds, mri and just a couple of days ago an ultrasound guided fine needle aspirate biopsy. Going through the torture of worrying it may be breast cancer. All my tests have come back inconclusive. They suggest that maybe my implant is ruptured but they are not sure. The Radiologist that performed my biopsy feels really certain that my lump is silicone. She also found numerous other tiny lumps in other areas of my breast that look like silicone. I am still waiting for the pathology report. This whole process and ordeal has me contemplating making a final decision to have my implants removed as soon as possible and not replacing them. I am terrified. My husband and my children have never seen me flat chested. Nor have any of my friends. I am an entertainer here in Vegas. There is a lot of pressure to look gorgeous and sexy on stage even if you are a musician like myself here! I'm terrified at how I will look after so many years of having implants and starting out with little to no breast tissue!!! I know it is for the best for my health to have them out! It's just so hard to make this kind of decision!!! I no longer have any of my "before" photos of my original BA. This is how I look now since my most recent BA revision and lift. I have been reading others stories on here and they have been helpful. Any advice would be so welcomed and appreciated!! I will post more once my pathology report comes back!!

Not looking very hopeful...

I found that my pathology report had been uploaded to my medical records online. The results were "atypical ductal epithelial cells which are suspicious of malignancy. Core biopsy recommended for further diagnostic evaluation." Wow!!! Not what I was expecting or hoping for!!! To say that I am scared would be an understatement! Looks like the decision to remove my implants might be made for me! I never thought I would ever be diagnosed with breast cancer. I tried to get a hold of the breast care department yesterday to discuss my results and find out what steps I need to take next but had to leave a message. No one called me back so I will have to wait until Monday and try again. This is way more than I bargained for and I really don't want to have to go through all this!!! My mind is all foggy this morning and just trying to let it all sink in. So scared that my implant removal will now turn into a mastectomy!!! :'(

Sending me to a surgeon...

I know this isn't exactly the place for all of this but I have no one I can talk to at this point. I can't tell my kids or my friends about this until I know for sure what I am dealing with. I haven't even told them I was planning on having my implants removed.

I have been crying all morning! This is finally really starting to take a toll on me emotionally. I just got off the phone with the breast care nurse. Because I have implants, they cannot send me for the core biopsy that was recommended by pathology. They are sending me to a surgeon to remove the lump so it can be tested. I told her I was really scared. She tried to reassure me that it could still be noting to worry about and we should just take this one step at a time. She is working on my referrals and sending all my mammogram, ultrasound and MRI films to the surgeon. I am suppose to find out before the end of this week who I need to call to schedule my appointment with the surgeon.

I want to thank all the wonderful ladies for all your comments, support and blessings! You have no idea how much it is helping!!! Hopefully with some luck and prayers I will be posting good news that my lump is just a silicone granuloma and my next appointment will be with my PS to discuss getting these things OUT OF ME!!! I will update once I get more info about my appointment with the breast surgeon. Hugs to everyone!!!

Consultation with General Surgeon today...

Thank you ladies for all your continued support! It really does help!! Today I had my consultation with the general surgeon about my lumpectomy. I was so nervous as I had absolutely no idea what to expect! I brought with my a typed out page with a bazillion questions so I wouldn't forget, lol!! ;) Fortunately the doctor was pretty laid back. He did an exam and reviewed all of my previous test images and reports. Then he explained the procedure and answered all my questions. I'm so glad he was so patient with me! Now I am waiting for the surgery scheduler to call me so I can set the date. I have to admit I'm pretty terrified but I'm trying really hard to remain positive and optimistic. I will admit though I have been doing a lot of research on breast cancer and mastectomy. I even started myself on a new healthy cancer friendly diet. No red meat, no dairy, no wheat and very limited sugar and fats. It's better for my overall health anyway, right?! Besides being worried about the obvious... I am also scared that after the lump is removed and found benign, once I have my implants removed that my breast will look totally disfigured. I have so little breast tissue and really can't afford for a big chunk to be missing. I'm also afraid the incision will look bad since the doctor is not a plastic surgeon! I'm I silly for stressing about all this? I hope they get me in by next week so I can get this over with!

Lumpectomy surgery has been scheduled...

Thanking all you ladies with all my heart for all the caring, loving support you continue to give me! I won't lie this has been quite the roller-coaster I've been on. One minute I'm feeling "okay let's do this" and the next I'm bawling like a baby!

My surgery will be April 8th unless there is a cancellation and they can get me in sooner. I was hoping for next week so I could get it over with before my son comes home from boot camp. Then I could still keep it a secret from him. He graduates April 3rd then will be on leave for 10 days before reporting back for the rest of his training. He will then be gone for 4 more months. My son and I are extremely close and I do not want to burden him with this kind of stress. He needs to be 100% focused on his training. I figured I would tell him all about it once all his training was done. Unfortunately, my plans have been foiled and my surgery is scheduled right in the middle of his leave! Now my plan is to just make light of it!! The "C" word will not come out of my mouth in front of him. I will just tell him my implant might be ruptured and they think the lump is a reaction to leaking silicone and they just need to test it to make sure. It's not a lie because this could still be a possibility. At least that's what I'm praying for.

So... While I wait, I will try to keep focusing on my son coming home soon and finishing his room (been repainting) before we leave town to make the trip for his graduation! All this waiting is what's been really hard. I just want it over with like yesterday!! If anything, I can definitely say this whole experience has 150% convinced me that I NEED to get these implants out!!!!! I keep up on all of your journeys every day! You are all looking so good and seem so happy since your explains! I can't wait for my turn!! xoxo :)

Lumpectomy is over!!!!!!

Thank you everyone so much for the surprise well wishes you all gave me before my surgery!!! I really wasn't expecting any comments so it was very overwhelming and so appreciated!!!!

The the surgery itself was not too long. I think I was at the surgery center a total of about 4 hours. I was scared to death before they wheeled me away to the OR. I barely remember scooting over from my bed on to the operating table and then it was lights out. I woke up from a dream in recovery and it was all over! Not too much pain in my boob but I've had a major headache and some nausea since. I'm also allergic to adhesive tape so I've been itching insanely and finally had to remove the dressing this morning! It's a day early but what the doc doesn't know won't hurt right? ;)

Have to wait until my follow up appointment on the 23rd to find out my pathology results. Some really reassuring news from my surgeon though... My husband told me he said the mass looked like implant material and not like a cancerous tumor!! So keep your fingers crossed he is right!! It's the first glimpse of hope I've been given since starting this journey 3 months ago!! If it is silicone, then it will be off to my plastic surgeon I go to drop that little bomb shell on him!!! All I can say is I can't wait to get these implants out of me!!!!!!

Much love and hugs to all of you!! :)

Pathology report back!! Good news!!

I was at the airport seeing my Marine off for another long 4 months. Trying so hard to keep it together through out our walk to the gate. Just before we said our goodbyes, my phone rang and it was the surgeon's office with my results! Negative for breast cancer!!!! I totally lost it and broke down right there in front of everyone!! Just too many emotions to contain at that point!! So glad my son could go off not having to worry about me and I'm so relieved not to have to burden him with the extra stress!! Today is a bittersweet day!! My head just might explode from all the crazy emotions!!!

Now to schedule an appointment with my plastic surgeon to get these implant the hell out!!!!!!!!!!

Now back to the original plan... I think???

Now that my breast cancer scare is behind me, now what? I'm still healing from having the lump removed. Incision (around half of my areola) looks really good. I still have a lump of I guess fluid and blood where the tissue was removed. I went for my post-op appointment on the 23rd.Surgeon said he removed everything between my skin and my implant. Yippee! (NOT) That's about 1/3rd of my whole breast! He says the lump should flatten out in time.

Now I need to go see my plastic surgeon. I'm really nervous about what he will say. I know I should have my implants removed but I can't afford to pay for another surgery. I'm also terrified what my breast will look like after!! I have searched and searched this web site and cannot find any ladies that have as little breast tissue as me! I know a lot of you feel you are so tiny and flat after explant but, you all have bigger boobies then I will have!!! Especially my poor right boob now! So scared I will look disfigured! If I don't have the implants removed, I'm afraid I will develop more lumps and pain and will have to repeat all over again the hell I've been through these past few months! I'm so praying since my PS was already contemplating a revision surgery before my lump because I didn't heal as planned that he won't charge me for an explant!!!

Cross your fingers for me. I will be calling this week for an appointment to see him. I will update after my appointment! Hopefully with good news!! ;)

On hold....

Hello everyone!
I hope you are all doing well! I just popped in to check up on everyone and figured I might as well post an update. Since my excisional biopsy, I have had a large hard lump where the lump was removed. Probably swelling and a hematoma? I also developed a small infection at one end of my excision. I'm guessing my body is trying to spit out the suture there. It's been really red and (sorry for the grossness) oozing a tiny bit of pus. Today it actually looks much better. I haven't gone to the surgeon regarding the infection because I don't like him and really would rather never see him again! Lol!!

I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon last week. I was all prepared to discuss removing my implants but he said that he didn't even want to discuss touching me (surgery) until my biopsy site was completely healed. He said that he feels I've been through enough trauma over the past few months! He was very happy and relieved no cancer was found! He has been my doctor for the past 6 years so he knows me really well. I could see by his demeanor that he was really concerned about the possibility of me having breast cancer! He says the lump I have now is probably a hematoma and that it will take quite some time for it to go away! Boo!!!! :(

Anyhow, I am now in a holding pattern until I go back to see my plastic surgeon in 6 months. I already have an appointment scheduled for the beginning of November. It really sucks I have to wait so long but, I understand his reasoning!

I will be popping in from time to time to check on you all!! Thank you for all your support ladies!!! I will post an update in November or sooner if anything changes!

Take care all!!!! xoxo

Appointment is PS tomorrow....

So, due to more issues I have discovered my original appointment with my PS that was scheduled for November has been bumped up to tomorrow!! I discovered a firm rope-like thing (tissue?) in my left breast that went from the outer edge horizontally across to my nipple. I thought maybe it was a band of scar tissue and thought that maybe if I massaged it, it would eventually soften up. Well...I discovered while massaging it, it sort of balled up and I was able to push it all the way to the outer edge of my breast! WHAT THE HELL??? So I first asked the doctors on this site what it might be. The general thought of all the doctors that answered was it might be the strattice and part of it did not incorporate with my own tissue! OMG!! Just what I need another issue!! I contacted my PS office and they moved my appointment.

I am so frightened. I am very shy and have a really hard problem speaking up to doctors with my fears and my thoughts. I'm so afraid to discuss removal of my implants vs just another revision! I have no idea what my PS has in mind or what he is going to say to me. Lately it's just been a lot of "lets wait and let things heal before discussing anything"! I'm also worried because I don't have the money to have to pay for more surgery!

I'm really scared and I don't know what is best for me to do! I'm terrified at what I will look like without implants but I also hate how I look with the bad results I continue to get with each revision surgery with implants! They can't seem to be able to get rid of rippling problems and misshaped breasts due to the fact I have literally no breast tissue. My breasts just form to whatever shape and direction the implants fall which is not pretty! They are very asymmetrical right now as well. All this is very heartbreaking considering I have been waiting six years and 4 surgeries later to have all this corrected!

I'm afraid I am just going to have to come to terms with the fact that it was never intended for me to have normal breasts. That's all I've ever wanted! I have never expected perfection or anything close. I just wanted to look like a normal woman instead of a boy with a rib cage deformity! I just wanted to be able to wear a bathing suit or sexy evening clothes when I go out with my husband. I just didn't want to look like a freak naked anymore!!!! I'm tired of hiding my breasts from my husband and not letting him touch them. Or when I do, I cringe with embarrassment! I'm at a loss. :'(

PS has given me 2 options, neither are great...

Spent quite a while talking to my PS yesterday. I was so nervous because I knew I had to question him about implant removal for the first time! He started out talking to me about how he wants to remove the lump that was left after my biopsy from my right breast. He doesn't want me to have to worry or think about it anymore! Says it should have been completely removed by the surgeon that did the biopsy. My PS and I were both under the impression at the time that the lump would be completely removed. He also told me that he discussed the rope-like stuff I have in my left breast with some of his colleges that also use strattic. They all think that is what it is and that it would be better to leave it be and dissolve in time then to go in and try to retrieve it surgically and remove it. They all felt that would cause more problems.

I then asked him, what about all my other issues. The rippling and the asymmetry as well as the constant pain I have in my ribs from the weight of the implants. He told me there was a brand new implant that just became available. He had his nurse bring one in for me to look at. It is basically the same as the silicone implants I currently have except they are over-filled. They don't ripple or collapse like the implants I currently have. He said he's been waiting 10 years for these to be approved in the US and available. He hasn't used them yet on any patients but says he plans on using them for most of his patients from now on. I asked if I could go smaller if I were to choose these implants to help with the pain in my ribs. He said that going smaller really wouldn't be a good option for me. He even said that going larger would be better. He says I would have more problems because of my pocket and my frame if I tried to go smaller. To me, staying the same size or going larger just isn't a good option at all!!! I wanted to be smaller than I ended up with my revision last year! The pain from my bra across my ribs gets unbearable at times!

Then I gathered up my nerves and fighting back tears I said to him that to be perfectly honest, I was actually considering implant removal. That's when his face and demeanor completely changed. He paused then let out a sigh. I told him with everything I've been through over the past 6 years and with my scoliosis and my rib problems and pain I am feeling it may be time. For financial reasons as well I told him. I just can't see continuing to have more and more surgeries. Going larger is completely out of the question. He was so kind and understanding. He said to me that he completely understands where I am coming from. He says I have been through the ringer and that he has done everything in his power and has used every trick up his sleeve to correct my problems. He said that he has other patients who have come to the decision that their comfort is more important than their cup size. He has removed their implants and they are doing really well. He says that he thinks I may be at that place but, he wants me to think about it and not decide right now. I asked him about having a lift at the same time as the removal. He does not recommend it. Says that can lead to too much skin being removed and then it looks more "mastectomy-ish". He says that a lift would be an option after every think shrinks back down and is healed. Then we can see what is left and what to do from there. He told me that he can remove my implants and all the scar tissue in the office under local anesthesia instead of putting me to sleep. He says that I will go home with drains that will remain in for 2-3 days. We ended my appointment with him telling me to think about it. He says he will do whatever I decide! Once I have mad my decision, just to call the office and schedule an appointment to come in and regroup and take it from there.

I really wish that my husband was more supportive! He really isn't helping me with my decision at all! I told him about my appointment and everything the doctor and I discussed. The first thing he says is that "if you remove your implants, you will only have wrinkly saggy skin and your ribs are going to show. Then you will never let me look at them! I know how you are!" It's almost as if I was expecting him to say next that he would leave me if I had no breasts!!! I felt like complete shit!!!!!! He doesn't care about my health or the pain I have. He doesn't care about how much I've been through. All he cares about is me having breasts and getting to see them!!!!!!! So what am I supposed to do??? I just want to cry and scream!!

I have decided to post photos so you all can see what I look like now. It's hard to post. I hate how I look. I feel there are no good options for me and I don't know what I should do! :'(

Money and my decision...

Well, I received 2 quotes from my PS's office yesterday. One for the remove and replace with new and improved implants and one for removal of my implants without replacement. Needless to say the first option is WAY out of the question even if I wanted it!!!

Have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching! The money thing actually really helped me with my decision for more reasons than just eliminating one of my options! I have already spent way too much money on my boobs over the years! The last thing I want is to continue to throw away such valuable and hard to come by money several more times over the coarse of the rest of my life!!! I am not and have never been a wealthy woman!!!

I had pretty much decided on having my implants removed before I even got the price quotes. I have to say though, I have spent most of my time since depressed over the money issue!! I really had hope that if he charged me (since it's a revision) it would have been half the amount quoted! Now the quest to figure out how to pay for my surgery!

My husband and I have discussed this whole thing several times now. He told me last night that my only real option is removal. He also feels because of the problems I am having, staying like I am with my current implants is not an option to even consider. That I should have them removed as soon as possible so I can put it behind me and be on the road to recovery!!

I also went for a follow up mammogram and ultrasound of my right breast yesterday. Although I already knew I still have a large lump in my breast since my biopsy, it was still depressing to see it on the ultrasound. I should find out what they have to say by Tuesday.

So...I will update again soon and hopefully with a surgery date!!!! Cross your fingers for me!!! Thank you all so much for all of your wonderful support! I know I couldn't have gotten through this without you all!! xoxo

Surgery Scheduled!!!!

The sweet nurse that assists my PS messaged me today. She wrote, "I am sorry! I know that this is hard for you, and that you are nervous but I think you are making the right decision with taking them out and to finally be relieved of the discomfort." You have no idea how much better I felt about my decision after reading her message!!!

Then I got a call from the surgery scheduler. My doctor changed his mind about removing my implants in the office due to the fact that he wants to remove all the Strattice and scar tissue. He didn't think it was a good idea to do all of this with just local anesthesia! I will now be having my surgery at the surgical center under general anesthesia. That's fine actually. I was kind of freaking out about having this done with only a local!! My surgery is scheduled for Thursday August 13th. Just 4 weeks away! Whew!! I'm actually really glad I won't have to wait too long! Just want to get it done and over with so I can be on the road to recovery!! My pre-op appointment is July 30th. I'll have to get blood work and an EKG before my surgery.

It makes me nervous already just thinking about it but excited at the same time! Even as I am sitting here typing the underwire of my bra is digging in and hurting my ribs! A constant reminder that I will be so much better off once the implants are out!

I will be counting down the days now!! I can't believe this is finally going to happen!!

Love to you all!

4 Weeks Until My Explant Surgery - Last Pre-surgery Photos

I meant to post these yesterday with my update. These are the last pre-op photos I will be posting! Hopefully, I will be brave enough to post photos after my surgery! I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty terrified!


2 more weeks until explant!

Just 2 more weeks! Time is zipping by now! This week is being spent getting all my pre-op exams and tests done. My primary doctor gave the green light for surgery and all my tests are coming back normal. I applied for CareCredit so that is how I will be paying for my surgery. I hate having to do that but I don't have the cash! I'm still very nervous but being in pain last night while trying to relax and watch TV reminded me why I am doing this!! I can't wait to get it over with and behind me! Trying to stay busy to pass the time more quickly!! :)

Pre-op done, now the wait...

Just a quick little update...I had my pre-op yesterday with my PS's assistant nurse. Got my photos taken, a bunch of vitamins to start taking right away and prescriptions for after my surgery. My surgery is scheduled for 7am on August 13th so only 13 more sleeps and it's my turn! She explained that the doctor will be removing my implants, capsules, Strattice and all scar tissue as well as the mass in my right breast. Everything will be sent to pathology to be tested. She said I would have drains and that I will be wrapped with a compression band over my breasts to help facilitate the healing everything back together and tightening the skin and a sports bra. She is such a wonderful nurse. She reassured me that everything would be okay! That I am in very good hands. She said she was so glad that I made this decision and thinks I will feel so much relief physically as well as emotionally. She said they will be providing lots of follow up care after my surgery too. She gave me a big hug before I left. Everyone in that office is so wonderful and supportive! It's as if they are my best friends! :)

Thank you all for your support and wonderful encouragement!!! You are all so important to me during my transformation back to the Itty bitty titty committee!! Ha ha!! ;)

Depression and Jealousy have reared it's ugly head...

Is this normal before such a procedure or is it just me and my fears taking over my emotions? 8 more sleeps until my surgery and this morning I woke up to these ugly feelings! I love you all and I am so very happy for all of you brave ladies who have gone before me and have given me such wonderful support. The feelings of jealously I am having are not directed at any of you personally!! I see all your pictures and you all look so beautiful with your new smaller breast. The keyword being "breasts". I have read so many times how "flat" someone feels after but they are most certainly not flat. Just smaller. My breast tissue on mammogram and ultrasound is approximately 3/16" thick! I know I will be completely flat, no breasts, just nipples. I am so terrified my skin will look like shriveled up little prunes and make me look 90 years old! The depression is really starting to sink in now that the reality is getting so close. I am so sorry to lay this out there for all of you to read. I guess I just needed to let it all out! I have no one I can talk to about how I am feeling. Did any of you have these feelings before your surgery? I am really not an ugly person. I do not ever take my jealousy out on anyone but turn it back on to myself, which I think adds to the depression. Does that make sense? I love you all and all your support and kind, loving words have given me so much strength. But...I sit here alone and these thoughts just creep in . I just want to get this over with...hurry up father time!!

Just 3 more sleeps, then off to the OR...

I can't believe how fast the time has gone! I've got all my ducks lined up in a row for surgery I think! Already pre-registered at the surgery center and filled the 8 prescriptions my PS gave me. I've got the post-op instructions layer out for my hubby and labeled all my medicine bottles pain, antibiotic etc. So he doesn't have to spend time reading the labels every time I need something! Spending the next couple of days cleaning my house and doing laundry so everything is all caught up. Heading out to the ranch to spend time with my horses. Giving them baths and tending to any boo-boos they may have since I won't be able to do that for at least a few weeks. Probably should get some things from the grocery store too that will be quick and easy to make for my husband. Secretly planning on milking this for all its worth so I can be on a mini vacation!! Hahaha!!!

The hardest thing right now is trying to not focus so much on my fears! I am still terrified how I will look. I am especially worried about my right breast ending up disfigured due to the mass that my PS will be removing along with the implants and capsule. Ugh!!!!! Wish I could just wave a magic wand and erase all this thoughts in my head keeping me in an almost constant state of anxiety!! My little nurse from the PS's office told me that I could take a vellum the night before my surgery as well as the morning of. She knows how freaked out I am!! I most likely will take her advice! I'm almost there ladies!! I can't thank you all enough for all the amazing advice and support you have all given me. This may be the last chance I get to sit down and write an update until after my surgery so sending you all a big hug of gratitude and much love!!

T minus 21 hours until surgery...

Hello Ladies,
Well tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn I will be heading off to the surgical center. This time tomorrow, it will all be over! So, I thought I would try to think nothing but positive thoughts all day to trick myself into not being so terrified! (Yeah, right!)

Anyway, I found this cute and funny article on why it's great to be a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee! Here are 28 great reasons why "Fun Size" is the best size! Ha ha ha!

1. People always look you in the eye

Between cell phones and big titties, engaging in full eye contact with someone is a lost art. Not for ladies with fun-sized boobs, though!

We’re able to really hold a person’s complete attention because they aren’t listening to our breasts, but rather our words.

2. Putting on a seatbelt is easy

We don’t slice our chest in half every time we sit safely in a car, and our boobs never embarrassingly stick out against the seat belt during carpools.

You never accidentally turned on someone’s dad from sitting in the car seat.

3. Cute lingerie isn’t off limits

We can wear strappy, tiny intimate pieces and they won’t look like mere nipple coverings. We can shop at any lingerie store with ease because the fit doesn’t vary greatly.

4. Hitting second base wasn’t a big deal

You never felt slut-shamed in high school because no one considered your lack of boobs to be suggestive. When you take your top off it’s like, “NBD, you’ve seen these before on your pudgy little brother.”

5. One sports bra is enough

Wearing two is just out of the question. Way too much laundry.

6. Food that gets caught in your shirt falls straight down to the floor

There’s no awkward fishing around or feeling yourself up in order to pick out that piece of popcorn from your cleavage. If it’s not in your mouth, it’s going down south.

7. You can wear low-cut shirts and not look suggestive

No one is ogling your breast bone. Wearing a low-cut shirt doesn’t garner the same kind of attention as when a fuller-chested woman wears one. Or a hairy chested man, for that matter.

8. Crop tops don’t look like bras

They look exactly like what they’re supposed to look like: your shrunken t-shirt that got further shrunk in the wash (according to Grandma). And in some special scenarios, they can even make your boobs look bigger.

9. Push-up bras would take a bullet for you

Super padded bras are super comfortable and don’t make us look like buxom broads in a sleazy car commercial. We can add to what we’ve already got and it doesn’t look cheap or cheesy.

10. Working out isn’t an added struggle

Going to the gym is hard enough as it is, we don’t need our boobs flopping around to discourage us further. We’re able to keep up without our breasts getting in the way.

11. Going bra-less is care-free

We can ditch our ta-ta holders and no one would notice. Our boobs can experience the kind of freedom typically reserved for men and small children. They’re able to breath and enjoy life without the metal restraints of underwire.

12. People don’t falsely believe that you are top-heavy

Your waist is always well-defined because your boobs don’t force your shirt to stick out. You don’t resemble a 4-dimensional box when you wear a chunky knit sweater.

13. Family vacations to the beach aren’t uncomfortable

It doesn’t look like you’re trying to seduce your dad when you wear a string bikini. The lifeguard isn’t trying to check you out while your mom lies next to you. You might as well build a sand castle because you have the chest of a 5-year-old boy.

14. All swimsuit styles are available to you

Unlike voluptuous women, finding a swimsuit that provides enough support and coverage isn’t a challenge for you. You can even shop online because it’s not hard to determine your size. There’s never a concern that a top won’t fit or your tit will pop out. And if it does, you don’t actually care.

15. You don’t have to endure back pain

Your frontside isn’t too heavy for your back to support. You aren’t weighed down by your boobs’ additional poundage. (Instead we’ve got an ass that speaks for itself.)

16. Cross-body bags don’t look like they’re sectioning off your entire body

Messenger bags don’t cut your cleavage until it hurts, and you aren’t subjected to looking like a bag of balloons.

17. Open-back tops, bandeaus and strapless shirts are always available to you

There’s no cut of shirt that is completely off-limits. You can wear any style and you’ll know that your boobs won’t be an issue. Your fashion tastes aren’t compromised by your cup-size. Go on, rock out with your back out! Who gives a tit?

18. Sleeping on your stomach is always an option

Your boobs don’t make this position difficult, nor do they raise the rest of your body 5 inches from the mattress.

19. Button-down shirts don’t automatically make you look like a hooker in the workplace

No one thinks your dowdy blazer and blouse are provocative when they lie flat against your chest. Coworkers aren’t talking about the slutty outfit you dared to wear to the office when, in fact, it’s just a button-down and a cardigan.

20. People aren’t asking to touch them all the time

Going to the girl’s locker room is a totally normal, hands-free experience. Women aren’t inquiring about what doctor you used or asking if they can feel them. Everyone knows they’re real.

21. You rarely receive the negative attention that a full-busted woman has to endure

You don’t have a voluptuous, buxom figure and that’s OK. You can walk down the street without self-consciously thinking that someone is staring at your breasts. Keep moving, there’s nothing to see here, people!

22. You’re confident that guys like you for qualities other than your boobs

Guys who only like women for their bodies are scumbags. If men like you for you and your small boobs then that’s all right. But they’re probably liars. And, therefore, scumbags. (Just kidding, just kidding. Spare me the hate mail this time.)

23. You can fake people out with water bras and cutlets

What do you and chicken have in common? You can both shake and bake your cutlets! (Apologies in advance for the lame joke. It’s almost over, I promise.)

24. Your size rarely sells out

According to a 2013 survey, the average bra size is a 34DD. You are clearly nowhere near that, which means more 32AAs left on the sale rack for you!

25. Meeting the boyfriend’s parents isn’t an awkward encounter

It’s not obvious why he’s dating you.

26. You have to be super hot to incite boob sweat

Boob sweat will never be included in your list of afflictions. Your boobs aren’t nearly big enough to cause that much friction.

27. You can securely wrap your towel around your chest

Look Ma! No hands! Woohoo, this one deserves a medal (which, coincidentally, will also lies flat against your torso. You just keep on winning!).

28. You are totally comfortable being on top

It doesn’t hurt to bounce around up there, on so many levels.

Anxiety starting to really kick in...

Just got a call from my PS's nurse going over last minute details and thats all it took! Bam! Total nervous Nelly now! All ready for the morning. At least I still have my sense of humor, right? Ha ha!

All done, they're out!!

I just got home. All went well and I will update later today when I'm not so sleepy. Thank you all so much for all your support and love! ?

12 hours since my surgery and how it went.

It was still dark outside when my husband and I headed over to the surgical center. We were the first ones there so I decided to be comfy and wear pajamas. I got called back right away. Got all set up in my gown, IV etc. Then a brief visit from the anesthesiologist. Then my doctor came in to see me. I guess it was due to all the stress and my fears I had a little cry right before he came in. He said "Oh no tears, not a very happy day for you I know." He was very kind and explained what he would be doing. He already had a feeling I was concerned about disfigurement after removing the mass in my right breast. He told me he would remove as much as possible but wanted to make sure there wouldn't be any distortion to my nipple or any divits. I was so relieved to hear this! He told me everything will be okay. I love my doctor! Then it was off to surgery. The whole procedure lasted about 1hr and 20 min. I was in recovery for about an hour and a half, maybe a little longer. Then my husband and I went home.

Since then the pain has been really managable. I am taking my pain meds, muscle relaxers and antibiotics. I've been trying all day to sleep but have been unsuccessful. I don't know why. I also have a splitting headache which could be part of the problem. My husband has been amazing! He is taking really good care of me!

Tomorrow is my post-op appointment so I will updated after my appointment. Thank you ladies so much for all the prayers and well wishes! xoxo

The Good, the bad and the ugly...

Hi Ladies,
Well it's my second day since my explant. I'm still very tired but not having much pain at all. My post op was this morning. The good news is that I got my drains out already and I got to ditch the compression band. Aah what a relief that was. I think that band was hurting me more than anything else. My doctor said I did really good and that all is going well so far. I was told I could take a shower whenever I felt up to it, more good news! The plan for now is to just wear my surgical sports bra with little pads underneath to protect my incisions and where the drains were.
I was really nervous going in knowing today would be the big reveal and my husband insisted on being in the office with me. Well, he didn't cringe or barf when the nurse opened up my bra so that was good! Hahaha! I didn't see myself in a mirror but everything looked better than I expected by just looking down at my chest. I am every bit as flat as I expected I would be but that is okay. The nurse wrapped me back up and we left the office. I was actually feeling happy which I'm surprised because I thought for sure it would be ultra depressing during my doctor visit.

I have spent the remainder of the day dozing in and out. I've managed to get a little sleep. I stopped taking the Norco for pain due to the fact it was making me really dizzy. Tylenol seems to be working just fine.

Ladies, I couldn't take it any longer and had to take a look for myself in the mirror. I looked worse seeing my whole boobs (if you can call them that) then just looking down at them. Still not as hideous as I was not expecting but ugly just the same. I know I have to be patient, that it will take some time. Even my doctor said the same thing! It's just hard when you are looking at yourself in the moment to imagine anything else.

I feel good though, with the weight off my chest and I have not had any of the pain in my ribs that I had prior to explant. So Yay for that!!!! I expect that as I heal I will discover more ways that I feel better. The really bad news is I think I will not be able to fit into a real bra! I hope the "fluff" fairy as they say will pay me a visit but I'm not holding my breath at this point.

It was very hard for me to post these photos but I promised I would no matter what the out come. Hopefully, I will be able to post much better photos in the future that show improvement.

Thank you all again for all your well wishes and support!!

Day 5 :)

Hello Ladies,
First off I want to apologize for not responding back to all your wonderful comments left for me! You are all so amazing and so supportive! Yesterday I was in a serious funk and didn't even want to leave my recliner. I was in tears for most of the day and I didn't even know why! I guess it was that after surgery blues you hear about. Anyway, I promise to get to everyone of you today!!!

I'm feeling a little better today. Not so depressed but still a little tired and fuzzy headed. I actually slept until almost 10am! That's really late for me! It's weird, I actually had more pain while sleeping last night than I have had since my surgery. Not bad but just twinges of sharp little pains here and there. Mostly where my doctor removed the mass from my right breast. My appetite is slowly returning and I took my first shower yesterday which felt really good!

Well, as I expected I am the flattest girl in town! Lol! But, that's okay! I really don't mind it at all. It feels rather liberating and I have not had any of the pain I used to experience in my ribs or middle back since those heavy 450cc bags have been removed! Thank God!! I'm not a very patient person so of course I've been peeking at my poor shriveled tiny boobies a few times a day hoping to see improvement! Silly me, I know it doesn't happen over night right? But guess what??? I guess all that extra sleep I got last night helped because this morning I could swear I see a tiny bit of improvement! Oh the joy!!!!! :)

I think I will need to go on a massive shopping spree (ahh the shame, he he he) once I am up to it! I don't think that any of my current tops will fit right and of course I don't own a single bra my new size. Which I'm guessing will be a 32aa or if I'm extremely lucky a 32a! I think I may need to ditch my normal blue jeans and tee shirts, tank tops etc. that are my normal everyday wear for some more flowing feminine tops to not accentuate my lack of a bust! Except for when I'm riding my horse of course. In that case I couldn't care less what anyone thinks! Lol! ;)

My husband who has been home since the day of my surgery had to go back to work today. He will be working over time all week so I'm sad about that. I will be home alone with my big beautiful BFF Bluetick Coonhound and my cat. Neither I could live without! They are my loves! My precious dog has been faithfully by my side ever since I came home from the surgical center. It's like she knows I need her companionship more than ever! She is the best!

Well here are the latest photos that I took this morning! I have a doctor's appointment with my surgeon this coming Wednesday so I will probably update then. In the meantime, have a wonderful week everyone!!!! Thank you for your continued love and support!!! :)

Baby improvements each day...

Not feeling quite as good today. A little dizzy and nauseous! I can't wait to be off all these meds. I'm quite sure that's why I feel so yucky! I'm starting to feel so much better about myself and my decision to explant. Especially now that I am starting to see little baby improvements each day! Pretty exciting actually. I thought for sure I would be maimed for life! Lol! Today marks 5 days since my surgery. Still achy here and there. Nothing that Tylenol doesn't help. My incisions are healing really well. I must have slept really well last night because I woke up with the sun this morning and I was absolutely wide awake!! Not like me at all!! :)

Anyway, thought I would post some new photos. I know I just posted some yesterday? Day before? I don't know I'm still in a bit of a fog! I'm just happy that I'm starting to see a light at the end of this long tunnel! :) xoxo

Hey Ladies just a thought....

If this is not allowed admins please let me know and I will remove. Ladies, since this site is really just for reviews. I was thinking since we've all become such a great support system for each other and basically friends, what if we started a group page on Facebook so we can all stay in touch? We all have so much in common. It can be a place where we can share our stories, lives, struggles etc. We can support each other way beyond just the few months of our recovery! Not a page like this site and not to replace it, just a continuance in a more social way. It can be a private group so no one can see our posts publicly! Of course you have to be a member of Facebook. A couple of us gals can be the admins and we will just allow members to the group that fit into our Itty Bitty Titty Committee! What do you think? If there are enough of us interested, let me know through private message. I can start the group and add you all to it once I know where to find you on Facebook! Just a thought. Might be fun! :)

Today's Post-op appointment & good news!!!

Hi Ladies!
I hope you are all having a great night! I saw my PS today. Got my stitches out and my pathology report game back as well. The lump he removed from my right breast was just scar tissue! YAY!!! He said everything is looking good and healing nicely. He and my nurse both thought I'd improved a lot since they saw me the day after my surgery. That I'm starting to fill in. That was awesome to hear!! My next appointment is in 2 weeks and he said if all looks good by then, then he will be releasing me! I'm still being restricted until then from lifting or doing any upper body work. Other than that no real restrictions. He wants me wearing a sports bra all the time still as well. Today I felt a lot better although the 110 degree weather is just too hard for me to tolerate so soon after surgery and makes me want to faint. So only very short stints at a time outside for now! That's fine by me! Hahaha! Anyway, today since I was going out in public for the first time, I put on a little make-up and a cute little sundress. that actually helped me feel more human and not so sickly! Funny how that can really lift the spirits. I am about as flat as anyone could ever be and I just walked around with my head held high and my tiny little chest out as far as I could hold it proudly! I have decided I love my little flat chest! I am so happy! :)

Super Exciting Day!

So...I decided to go out alone and go shopping this afternoon! Not the brightest idea just one week after surgery because I almost passed out right in the middle of Target and came home in pain. But...wait for it...I bought my first new bra that isn't a flat sports bra! AND the kicker it's a 34B!!!!! OMG!!!! I thought for sure I'd be a 32AA! I tried on a gazillion bras all different sizes! I really needed a 32 size band but that's practically impossible to find especially at Target! I almost let out a little scream of joy in the dressing room! Hahahaha!!!! Imagine how weird that would have seemed to everyone! There is a thin layer of foam padding which really helped to give me real boob shape! Bonus!! Hahaha!!

Then it gets even better...my husband came home and lets just say my excitement and super enthusiastic self got myself in a little trouble! In a good way if you catch my drift! Lol! I'm so super happy my new body doesn't turn him off!! Oh the joy this day has brought!!! I just had to share!

TGIF Ladies!! Hoping you all have an amazing weekend! xoxo

Was on cloud 9 until this morning...

Hi Ladies,
My mood and my attitude have been so great since I've been home from my surgery. Literally flying high. Then my whole parade got rained on! I sent an email to my nurse at my surgeons office asking if I could get a copy of my pathology report. I had contacted the lab I thought would be used because of my insurance but the had no record of it. So while waiting for a reply, I was thinking great they sent it to the wrong lab and now I will have to pay out of pocket! I got a response right back from my nurse. She informed me that the doctor never sent anything to pathology because he felt it was just scar tissue! WTF!!!! I specifically requested that all tissue removed from my breast be sent to a pathologist! I was told numerous times that it would be! I even checked again right before I was wheeled into surgery! I'm at a complete loss! I feel this was highly unethical! Here I thought finally after 7 months of hell, I jad my definate clear bill of health and I could put this whole cancer scare behind me! :(

Other then that huge let down, I've been feeling pretty good. Tonight I'm going to try sleeping in the bed instead of the recliner. Today marks 11 days since my surgery so I thought I'd post some new photos.

I hope you all had a great weekend!

Bra Measurement Calculators are a Bust!! (pun intended)

Now that it's been almost 2 weeks since my explant, I decided to try on the little 32B bra I bought at Target again. To my disappointment it no longer fits and I no longer fill the little molded cups. Boo! So I will be returning it. I decided to play the "lets calculate our bra size" game on the Internet with numerous web sites, including Victoria's Secret which won't even let you enter a measurement under 30". What's up with that??

Anyway, my dismal measurements are: Around rib cage at band level below breasts = 27" and my bust at the fullest part (ha!) = 30"

RESULTS: 30A, 32AA, 28C, 30C, 30AA

The results were crazy and a complete bust as you can see! I'm more confused and sad than ever! I have no idea how or where I am going to ever find a bra that will fit. I am determined to not have to wear a perfectly flat sports bra for the rest of my life...ooh how sexay! ;)

2 weeks post-explant

Hello Ladies,
I didn't post any new photos since there really hasn't been much change since the last I posted. Maybe I will next week after my follow up doctors appointment. Other than that I'm feeling really good! Just a twinge of pain here and there very occasionally. Once in a while I get muscle spasms in my right pec muscles so I need to take my muscle relaxers because it hurts! I'm getting super bored just staying at home and relaxing!! My doc is suppose to release me for exercising and such if all is well during my visit next week. Keeping my fingers crossed! I want to ride my horse so bad! Even if I just ride bareback because I can't lift a heavy saddle yet!! I think today though I will at least do some squats or some sort of lower body exercising so my legs and butt don't end up as saggy and wrinkly as my new boobs are at the moment! Ha ha ha! ;)

My spirit is much better than last update after my doctor called me! I'm so glad I have such a wonderful and compassionate doctor! He called me the moment he got out of another patients surgery! Impressive. Most doctors would just relay a message to their nurse and then they call you! I'm getting a little impatient regarding my poor sad looking little boobies! I want them better now!!!!! It's so hard for me to keep positive in regard to this and remain patient. Telling myself everyday that it takes time! I just worry because of my age that my skin isn't as elastic so it may not spring back like so many of the other ladies on this site! Oh well...it is what it is right?

Anyway, I hope you all are having a magnificent week! I hope you are all continuing to heal really well and that you are all very happy! Thank you so much for all your love and support!!! :)

The Little Bra That Could...

Hello Ladies,
Yesterday afternoon, my hubby took me shopping to Dillard's clear across town from our house. I had seen online that they carried small size bras. So, i wanted to try some on and hopefully find out what size I needed at least. I really wasn't expecting to find the smallest sizes still left in stock. That's usually what happens and I come home emply handed! We went in the store and found racks and racks of beautiful bras! So I started sifting my way through. Then voila! I was able to find about a handful of bras to start my size quest with! I tried on 2 different sizes to start. I really expected to have to try on numerous diferent bras (if they had them) to finally find one to fit, if at all! Well all it took was trying the second one on and...ding, ding, ding, I had a winner! The kicker is it was also on sale so I could get 2 for less than the price of one of their lesser expensive bras! Now mind you, Dillard's bras aint cheap! Lol! Hurray!!! I bought myself a nude and black bra. The bra I found is soft, no underwire but has great shape and support. It has a very thin soft foam lining. Perfect for what I was looking for! AND...for the first time in my life, I have a bra that fits me perfect! I ended up with a 30B size.

I felt so good in my tiny new little bra that actually gave me some shape unlike the very unflattering sports bras I have been wearing, that I dared to go with my husband to his country band gig! So I told him I was ripping the bandaid off and wearing a skimpy camosole top and my new little bra! I would be seeing a bunch of my peers for the first time since my explant! I was so nervous I was sweating in the car on the way to the show! I had no idea what to expect! Oh and did I mention they are all men? Fellow musicians I've known for years! Yikes!!!

Needless to say, everyone greeted me with a great big warm smile and hug! Then everything was okay and I could breath! One of the guys I've known the longest even hugged me and whispered in my ear that I looked great! Awe!! :) Also, to my surprise I could feel eyes on me from other men as I walked through the casino! Wow! Who knows what they were thinking but I'm going to let myself believe they thought I looked hot!! Hahahaha!! Why not right?!

OMG, if felt so good to be out with my friends. Listen to the band and have a few beers and just laugh and laugh!! It was an amazing night!! I just had to share!! I have a great big smile on my face this morning, a headache too but still a smile! Hahaha!!

Hope you are all having an amazing weekend Ladies! Love to you all! :)

I was not expecting this...how about you?

Arm pit fat and sagging! OMG! I expected my tiny little boobies to be saggy in the beginning but I was totally not prepared for this! You ladies having problems with this too that have already explanted? Gawd, my dismay and horror when trying on normal bras and saw this saggy gross flab hanging over the side bra bands! The sports bras covered this area and hold it in so I didn't even realize I had it!!! Wednesday I go for another follow up with my PS. I am praying he releases me to start doing upper body workouts!! I can't diet and loose fat, I'm already as thin as I can be and I don't want to loose any bit of what little boobs I do have! As is my ribs show! I found a great video that shows specific exercises that can be done to help tone the muscles to help this problem on You Tube. I don't think we can post links or I would post if for all you girls!! All I can say is I hope my skin retracts well and I can get to working out real soon! xo

3 week post op and doctor visit...

Hello Ladies,
Tomorrow will be exactly 3 weeks since my explant surgery. I'm feeling pretty darn good and have no more pain for the most part. Still trying to remain positive with the help of all of you! Patience is tough but I am managing pretty well for me!!!

Today I had a follow up appointment with my PS. He said everything was healing up great and already looking better. He said he wants me to start massaging and to work especially on trying to pull out my right nipple/areola so that it does not scar and stick to my ribs. He worked on it a little today in the office. It hurt a bit. I told him that I don't want to stretch out my skin. He said don't worry about that. That I needed to do this! It's important so I don't end up permanently disfigured from the lump removal. He says I can wear a regular bra now but I'm still restricted from anything strenuous or working out for another week and a half. I see him again in 4 weeks.

We also discussed my surgery in more detail. I must have been high on pain meds or Valium when I spoke with him over the phone the first week! Ha ha! I misunderstood some of the things I thought he said. Here is the scoop. My implants of course were removed and also my capsules. I was wrong and thought they had not been removed. The Strattice mesh was not removed. It had already incorporated with my own tissue with blood vessels and such. The lump that was in my right breast turned out to be unincorporated mesh and was completely removed. No lump remains! YAY!! I felt it was really important for me to let you all know because I had told several others here that my capsules were not removed.

Now the plan is to just keep healing, doing massage and trying to eat healthy. Then start an exercise routine including weights after waiting the week and a half. I took new photos today since it's been a while since I have posted any. Some of the photos are with my Victoria's Secret sports bra and my new little "real" bra. I wanted to show how much the little bra helps with my shape!!!

Have a great Wednesday night everyone!! Love to all!! :)

Less is definitely more!

Hi Ladies!
I am discovering more and more as time goes by that less is more! Not just how much better I feel with my "new/old" tiny boobs but, also my clothing! Whenever I wear a snug fitting tank top, camisole or tee shirt I look so much better. When I wear something lose or flowing I look like I have no boobs at all!!! Now that I can wear a normal bra that gives the illusion of a better shape especially!! This is one of my new favorite outfits! Just a white tank and my skinny jeans! Just a tip for any of the rest if you as tiny chested as I am!!! :)

4 Weeks Post-op...

Well I guess this will be my "pitty party" post! I didn't post any pics this time because quite frankly, I don't see much if any improvements since the last time I did. I'm feeling a bit depressed and it is getting increasingly harder to remain patient. I know it's still early though. It makes it so much harder because it seems that everyone on this site is having so much better results. They have so much more breast tissue than me. At least the ladies that have posted pics! I have searched and searched through tons of reviews on explants and cannot find a single lady with my results so I can see how they healed over time! The "special" massaging my doctor showed me to do to help pull my nipple/areola area out from my chest wall seem to just inhibit my skin from tightening back up so I'm still very wrinkled! :'(

I'm sorry Ladies! I have tried so hard to remain upbeat and positive throughout this process! I guess I'm just having one of those days! I hope all is well with everyone else! Hope you all have a great weekend! :) xoxo


I just wanted to thank all of the wonderful Ladies that have commented on my poor poor pitiful me post yesterday!! You are all so amazing and so supportive! You are all going through similar things but still take the time to lift each other up! Why is it so hard for us to believe for ourselves what we tell others? I feel blessed beyond words! I sat here this morning and cried reading all your beautiful, loving words and advice! I am almost ashamed of myself for feeling sorry for myself! I am so grateful to all of you!

I put together a "before and after" photo of myself this morning. I sat and I stared at it for a long time. I have come to the conclusion that I did exactly the best thing for me by removing these implants! The hell is over! As I looked at my photos I realized how much better I look now tiny and with wrinkles than with those hideous fake boobs that I had! I hated them and I am so glad to be rid of them! I am convinced that I would take how I look today any day over what I looked like and felt like before my implants were removed!

Of course I am still hoping they will improve with time but, I know in my heart I am better off and I can live with this!! Thank you all so much! xoxo :)

life beyond boobies...

Just a quick update. I am finally of being grounded by my doctor! Lol! So last night for the first time in 5 weeks I got back to doing what I love and chased cows on my amazing horse!! We had so much fun! I put on my tiny sports bra which makes me look like I have no boobs and a big smile on my face and proudly went out to play! It felt so good! Even one of my girl friends said I looked great! It's so wonderful that as time passes after my explant how much stress we put on ourselves about our appearance. How much we have all worried and fretted during making our decision to explant! I'm hoping as more time passes that thinking about my boobs 24/7 will be a long gone thing of the past! There is SO MUCH more to life than our boobies!! Life is good! xoxo

Small improvements???

Hi Ladies
I hadn't intended on posting another update especially with photos until I reached my 6 week mark in hopes there would be some improvements to show. Well, I woke up this morning and I could swear I see improvements just over the past 2 days!!! I wonder if starting to exercise and using my dumbbells have helped to firm up stuff a little! The shape of my breasts seem to be starting to become more round. I still have lots of wrinkles but they do seem to be a bit better too! So I'm feeling a bit excited after spending that last week sort of depressed that there hadn't been any improvements! So, I'm just going to keep on keeping on with my routine I've started with massage and exercise! It sure can't hurt right?! Lol!!


7 Weeks Post op update...

I haven't posted an update in a while. I haven't really seen any improvements in the past 3-4 weeks. Maybe you can see them in my photos?? I decided to post an update today because I saw my surgeon for another follow up appointment. I asked him about the prominent edge of my pectoral muscles and if he thought they would heal back down and smooth out. He said that I still have some swelling in my muscles and upper chest. Even way up near my armpits. He said it should get better. He says my scaring is getting better. He wants me to keep doing the massaging and pulling my nipple/areola area out away from my chest wall so that it doesn't scar glued to my chest wall. Honestly, I think it is this that is keeping my skin from getting tighter. But...he has told me not to worry about that right now. Ha! Easy for him to say!! I also asked him about my asymmetry and explained how my bras ride up over the bottom edge of my left breast. He said that we need to wait until everything has healed well before we can even think about doing anything to correct that. He told me it's going to take months for everything to heal. He wants to see me again in 8 weeks.

Other than that...I'm feeling great! So much more comfortable now that my implants are gone!!! I get a little down some times looking at my sad little boobies but it doesn't last long! Just keep telling myself to stay patient! Still no regrets! So as before...staying the course on eating healthy, drinking lots of water and exercising! Do wish I could sleep better! Not a health issue keeping me away. It's mostly my husband, dog and cat keeping me awake!! Oh how I would love to take a nice long vacation (alone) someplace tropical!! Then I could sleep as much as I want and maybe heal a bit faster!!! Oh well! Hahaha!! ;)

Hope all is good for all you ladies!! Hope you all are still healing well and are still happy!!! xoxo :)

13 Weeks Post Explant Update

Hello Ladies!
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their fall!! Not a lot to update at this point. Not much of a change since my last update at the end of September unfortunately. I think the knots of scars which I'm assuming is the collapsed pockets seem to be softening up a bit. My scars are healing well. I'm still very lopsided and wrinkly. I still trying to remain positive...my doc said it would take months. It's hard when I don't see any real improvements. I try not to look at my breasts unless I have too. I'm finding it really difficult to find bras that fit well. Because I am so small, every bra I wear rides up on me and I have to keep pulling them down. Very annoying!! I don't see my PS until the first week of December so I will update again after my appointment! Praying for some miracles at this point I'm afraid!! Love to you all!! xoxo

3.3 Months Post Op Doctor Appointment...

Hello Ladies,
Yesterday I had an appointment with my PS. He said everything is healing normal and that he actually thinks I look much better than he anticipated I would look. Especially at only 3.5 months. I don't know if that's really good or just not so bad! Hahaha!! Anyway, he asks me "now you're wearing compression as much as possible right?" Whaaaa! He never told me I should be wearing compression! As a matter of fact he said I could wear any type of bra I wanted the last few appointments! Anyway, he said it could help to tighten my skin back up! Wish he would have said this 3 months ago! He said to wear a bandeau bra because a sports bra probably doesn't fit me snug enough since I'm so small. Another chuckle! Like I don't already know this! Ha!! He said again that all the scaring inside that I feel will soften up, it is just going to take time.

So....I went shopping and of course I couldn't find any bandeau bras! I decided to buy this little sports bra. I already had a couple but this time I bought a size smaller which is an extra-small. It fits pretty snug and I think it is doing the job! If anyone else is looking for something similar, I got this at Target! It's made by Champion.

My next appointment is in 3 months (March). I probably won't update before then unless I see some significant improvements that I'd like to share with you all!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!! xoxo

Update: 6+ Months since my explant...

Hello Ladies!
It's been about 2.5 months since my last update. Last update, I posted that I had just visited my PS and he told me he wanted me to wear compression as much as possible. Well...I've been religiously wearing compression 24/7 in hopes it would help. Today I snapped some photos to compare with the ones I posted in November, 3 months ago. I have to say I'm starting to see some improvements. YAY!! I'm going to just keep on wearing the compression all the time. My next appointment with my PS is March 2nd. We'll see what he has to say! Hope you are all happy and healing well! :)

1 Year Update!

Hello Ladies!!

I've missed you all! I pop in from time to time to check on you all and I hope you are all still healing well, happy and enjoying your summer.

Anyway...I am 2 weeks shy of my 1 year mark since my explant. I am feeling well. Been doing a lot of hiking and trying to be active and fit! As far as my boobies are concerned, I still have a lot of scar tissue and adhesions in my right breast. My doctor is having me continue with massage in hopes the adhesions will soften and release. My doctor is saying it could take as much as 18 months for any improvement. I still have some loose skin and am still praying it will continue to tighten. I think that the fluff fairy has finally paid me a little visit but only briefly! Lol! I have my 6 month follow up mammogram I have to do next month. Since my last one showed distortion in my right breast. Duh! Hello...scar tissue! I also have an appointment with my PS in September. Other than all this everything else is pretty much the same. Still no regrets. As a matter of fact, whenever I see another woman with big breast implants it reaffirms that I absolutely without a doubt made the right decision to have my implants removed! Bonus....I can wear all those cute camisole tops now!!! :)

Hang in there Ladies! Sending much love out to you all! <3

OH NO...The dreaded SEROMA!

Hello Ladies,

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays! It's been 17 months since I had my ex-plant surgery. I didn't plan on posting any further updates after my 1 year post op post but I felt this was very important to get out to you all!!!

Right around the same time as my 1 year post, I started noticing some changes in my left breast. Started out with a strange wrinkle developing on the outer side of my breast along the bottom and extending out along my ribs on my side. Then I all of a sudden over the following month I started noticing more fullness in my breast. This fullness started increasing as the weeks went on. I went to see my gynocologist and she thought it was just due to hormone changes and recommended I eliminate all caffeine from my diet. Then wait and see if it helps. Well, that did not sit well with me. I knew in my gut that something was definitely wrong so I scheduled an appointment with my plastic surgeon.

So on November 9th, my doctor did an ultrasound and found a large seroma! I had thought from every thing I read that the risk of seroma was basically non-existent after the first couple months of ex-plant surgery! My doctor aspirated the seroma with a syringe and removed 50cc's of fluid from my breast. I basically looked like I had an implant in my left breast before it was drained. I had to restrict my activities and wear a compression band around my chest as tight as possible. Then the plan was to return the following week to have the fluid drained again. Well, this went on every week for 4 more weeks. When it was obvious that this was not working because by the next day after each time it was drained the fluid came right back. So last week my doctor inserted a drain. Over the course of 5 days, my breast swelled up again and barely any fluid drained into the tube. Not even enough to flow down into the bulb at the end of the tube! The drain failed. 2 days ago my doctor removed the drain. He said I would need surgery so he could determine what was going on and to fix it. So now I'm just waiting for my procedure date in mid January and hoping I don't get too miserable before then. Right now my breast is almost a "D" cup when it started out as you can see from my photos not even an "A" cup. The pressure isn't fun and it's hard to hide with my clothes. I basically look like I had a mastectomy on my right side. :(

Anyway, the whole reason for my post is to warn you all to PLEASE be careful after your ex-plant surgery!!! Don't take it for granted that after the 2 month mark you are 100% good to go! Watch for any subtle changes in your breast. If you see any volume increase please don't assume you got lucky and the fluff fairy has paid you a visit! Ha ha! If you see any changes that you have a gut feeling may not be right, get it checked out!! Better safe than sorry. None of you will probably experience a seroma and I hope you do not but, I wanted you all to have this knowledge and to be careful!!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all!! Wishing you all a bright, healthy and positive new year!!


PS, I did not include photos because frankly it looks awful right now! ;)
Las Vegas Plastic Surgeon

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5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
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