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Correction

I've just noticed that I've allowed my Google chrome spell-check to chane Dermarolling to decontrolling. So what I meant was I want to try Dermarolling, not decontrolling, lol. Anyway, I still haven't had the guts to try it, and right now i don't think I really need to, at least not on my entire face. I do want to try the micro needling stamp on my pitted scar though, I'll update when I finally get enough courage to try it.
Also, *criss-cross, not cross-cross. Damn Google spell check.

I was 29 when I had tear through injections to...

I was 29 when I had tear through injections to deal with some under eye hollowness (eventually I realized that it wasn't hollowness but protruding cheeks). I also had my lips done (which turned out o.k, but I now realize that my natural lips look better)and botox for my (barely visible) half of an 11 line, which also had a bad outcome even though it looked good initially.
I did my research, and went to reputable reconstructive surgeon. he used way to much filler and I had a bad initial swelling and bruising. I developed edema that lasted for two months, it would swell badly every 3-4 days and then subside to a more manageable look. after the edema subsided I began to see the damage. I noticed a snake like protrusion in the form of a half circle under my right eye where my cheek begins. under the left eye I got a tyndall effect, too much filler in the inner corner which created a hollow look in the outer corner and made the inner corner look unnatural. I also noticed a tear through, which I didn't have before. I went back to the doctor, he said that it was still swollen a bit, and that maybe he used a little bit to much filler. he then instructed me to massage the area towards my outer cheek area. I did what he said, and it made the inner corner look a bit better, but made my cheekbone area look swollen and a bit droopy, and the outer corner under my eye look way too hollow. then, a couple of months later, I noticed that I developed shallow cross-cross lines on my lower lids. I wanted to go for hyaluronidase, but after I read all the horror stories in here, and consulting with the doctor who treated me, who also admitted that hyaluronidase could, and probably would cause damage, especially in that area, I've decided to wait it up.

Its been almost a year now, and I'm almost 30. my eyes look better. my right eye almost gone back to normal, but now the same protrusion that I had under my right eye, has appeared under my left, though not as noticeable. I still have that swollen cheek bone appearance, you can't see it from the front, but its very noticeable from the side. My lines are much better, you can see them only with direct sunlight, and you have to look for them to notice. overall my eyes look better, but still not how they looked before. they continue to swell a bit and then subside, and the area doesn't look as smooth as it used to. also, the outer corners of my lower lids, swell sometimes, which makes my eyes look sad, like they droop down in the outer corners. I think it happens cause I still have filler in my inner half, and it prevents the inner half of the lids to swell with the outer half.

The reason why I did it in the first place was cause I always looked young for my age. I felt pressured to stay looking young to such degree , that from the age of 23 I began to see tiny changes in my face (which my boyfriend and friends told me were imaginative). I decided to "do something about it" when I noticed that I was being carded less frequently when I would buy cigarettes, which now seems credulous, and I should be thankful that it still happens in my age.

One good thing happened from it all, is that I'm now less harsh with my self, and I began to believe people like my boyfriend when they tell me that I still look young, and I'm less vein and willing to overlook my imperfections, and age naturally without fillers or surgery. yes I'm bummed about my eyes, but not to a degree that they look 100x worse to me, then they really are, like it was before with my other "imperfections. my boyfriend told me once, that if life is short and if you obsess too much about your appearance, then you will die a thousand deaths (each time you find a new wrinkle and such) before your true death will come, and then you will realize, that you never really lived.

I'm not going to obsess any more about my appearance, though I am willing to attempt non invasive treatments such as decontrolling or retin A.