Regretting my First Tattoo

So I went in for my consultation last Friday and I was quoted $250 per session. The laser tech was super friendly and even had a tattoo of her own that she had removed with picosure that took five sessions. They give you free lidocaine shots to numb the area and she offered to do it then but I couldn't go through with it. I'm still feeling the same way but I'm terrified of not being able to totally remove this tattoo and being left with some weird patch of skin. I just wish that I would have gotten it in a different spot, on my side like I thought about before I got it on my shoulder or even farther in on my back... I'm really upset about it again. I was just too scared to begin treatment but I'm still considering it... I was feeling okay before I went in about it and I know laser removal will always be an option but damn I'm tired of feeling self conscious. The lady even told me how pretty she thought it was and all my friends and family think it's beautiful but I hate the placement! I'm tired of feeling like thwar ups and downs will stop eventually :/

Hey guys haven't been on in a couple weeks but just a quick update.

My "freak out" stage is over I think, but that doesn't mean I like this tattoo. It's fully healed now and my body basically rejected all of the blue ink and it's all green which I'm not happy about. I was supposed to go in for a consultation last Friday but I had to reschedule to this Friday (boo). I think I mainly want the color gone from the body but I also don't want it there at all... Ugh idk what I want to do yet but I know I'm unhappy with this tat. I'll update after my consult but just wanted to post something.

Some thoughts I'm having today. Posting my story on this site and getting my thoughts out there has really helped me think through this more rationally.
I think that going through a couple treatments and it not being so bold might honestly help a little, even if it's not totally gone. The thought of this being something I will go through for a long time is pretty scary but I'm looking at it like if I start now I will hopefully have this mess over by the time I finish school (I'm in my sophomore year) and when I'm looking to begin the job search and get into the real world. What I originally wanted was a small, quarter sized humming bird that had minimal detail. Then I got carried away with myself and got a real tattoo. I would even be happy if one day I can get that tattoo. I love what my current tattoo represents but I dont love it's size, placement, and boldness. When getting it I forgot how I originally wanted something tiny that wasn't noticable unless I wanted it to be, and I got carried away with the "coolness" of tattoos and did something I am not happy with.

I think the most important thing in learning through this whole ordeal is to listen to my gut more.

Have a good day guys,
Emma