Terrified - India

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I understand this is only for the US, but there...

I understand this is only for the US, but there isn't a support group for this sort of thing in India, so I thought I'd give it a shot...also, my clinic isn't actually in the US, but I figured "Indian, AK" would be closest to where I really am :)

I'm a 5'9"-5'10" tall girl in my mid-twenties, and I'm unmarried. A 36G is small for me, and even the international chains here don't carry sizes larger than that, so I'm not entirely sure what my bra size is. I think it's hovering around HH. After a lot of thinking (and a LOT of exercise and dieting, which depressed me even more because I started losing weight EVERYWHERE except my chest), I decided to opt for BR. Surgery is scheduled for next week and I'm trying to avoid watching videos on youtube, because I don't want to freak myself out.

As a result of sudden weight gain, i put on MASSIVE amounts of weight in the chest area, which was downright depressing. Considering that most women here are not very big-chested, this is especially embarrassing for me because I constantly stand out in a crowd, and am almost always hunching and trying to hide. And don't even get me started on my neck and shoulder pain. I have very little confidence even when I wear "nice" clothes, because if it's a top (and it always is), it keeps riding up, and I don't even bother trying on dresses or skirts because it makes my boobs look even larger.

I met a wonderful surgeon, who has addressed a lot of my concerns, but I can't help freaking out about how my boobs are eventually going to look. I've been told that my boobs weigh about 5.5 kilograms (put together) (WTF?!), and I am likely to lose more than 3.5 - 4 kilos off my chest. Since I'm currently heavy, my doc says I can "carry off a 36D", but I'm really not very keen on that. I would LOVE to be a 36C. I also used to be quite athletic, and really want to be able to run without having to worry about running.

Would be incredibly grateful if any of you gals who are similarly built could share your experiences. I'm a bundle of nerves right now. it's 3 AM and I'm too nervous/excited/anxious to sleep!

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