I’m suffering differently when I thought I would be free from dysphoria, it’s just not fair! - Ardmore, PA

FTM Chest Masculinization Surgery

androxy


Doctor Review

12 Oct 2016
Updated

1 day ago

I’m suffering differently when I thought I would be free from dysphoria, it’s just not fair! - Ardmore, PA

I wouldn't even be able to finish my review if I were to go into every single detail of disappointment I had from this surgery with her. I am so depressed and STILL suffering from my outcome even though it's way over a year. I couldn't go to a better surgeon because location was an issue for me without having any family support. Considering people's referrals and other patients' successful results with her was totally useless in my case since I still got unlucky even when I had a good physique for her to work with. Pre-op, she answered my specific questions nicely and was confident that I would have good results. Knowing my only option was the double incision with scars was already bad enough but I was so desperate and needed breasts off my chest as soon as possible since I waited more than a decade for it. I asked about dog ears and she said that I wouldn't have any because I was thin without extra skin. I also wanted to make sure that the nipple size and placement would be proper. Above all, since I never had any surgery before in my life, I was concerned about complications and she reassured me by saying that if I followed her directions, I wouldn't have any problems, so I trusted her. Post-op was a major disappointment. Visually speaking, comparing both my incisions and nipples are noticeably off. The placement of the left nipple's end point matches the right nipple's center point and left's incision also being just as further, not to mention shaped angular whereas the other one being curvy doesn't help hide the mismatch. To this, she had an excuse to say that it would look artificial if they were exactly alike. So that was an acceptable reason to make it look off? To top it all off, I got dog ears when I was already thin. Also, whatever was done to my left nipple, there is a tiny slit so it looks demolished even though it's tender when I touch it. The left side also had a supposed swelling or what I thought to be some kind of left out fullness that never diminished. There was no point of telling her any of my concerns since I was basically brushed off every single time with her over the top comments like how "perfect" my chest looked like. My surgery shouldn't even be considered cosmetic since there is nothing I found pleasing except the size of the areolas. Despite the looks, I would have been thankful IF my main problem was ONLY visual where I can simply ignore the disappointment by not looking at it. My entire left chest going towards my underarm still causes me problems to this day. It never got better by "giving it time" like she kept saying. I had a slow recovery on that area from the beginning and she was callous even when I initially complained about it by blaming me for not using my left arm when I was actually doing light exercises at the time. Time is beyond up and… even currently I could simply be reaching for something and the pressing pain would come no matter what. Random times, the discomfort would be there without me using my left arm at all. So working out with light equipment was not happening for me. Being very flexible, I used to love stretching and because of this problem, I don't want to do anything because it ruins my mood. The more I tried to focus on the positive of not having breasts, the more depressed it made me feel because I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS (an additional suffering in return) and the pain kept coming every single time I used my left arm. *I am updating to say that it's not even about just the arm but rather having my chest move in general (even from turning my neck or hips!)Having this complication still makes me feel demolished with the repetitive remorse of "WHY ME?!" and "Is this the injury I had to gain in order to get rid of something I was disgusted with?" It's truly not fair for me because the right side healed fine and whatever damage from her caused this trauma to my left side has never healed since surgery. What a waste of my time, money and more importantly, body because I am going to have to cope with this injury of a surgery for life that I now hate more than ever because I gained a different suffering in return! This is totally unacceptable! I want the normal feeling on my left side back like how it was before surgery because the negativity is consuming my entire being without any exaggeration!