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46. I Looked Fine, Just Too Big. Now I Look Like a Train Wreck! - Utah

UPDATED FROM goatgirl69
6 years post

I'm ugly

G
goatgirl69
Six years have passed. I'm still disfigured, I'm ugly, and no one will ever want me. I can't stomach looking at the destruction. Nothing fits. I look like a bad joke. I just want it to be over. No justice. No one cares. I have nothing left. My hair fell out, I cannot tolerate heat, I've suffered compression fractures(no estrogen), constant hot flashes, and I'm denied hormones because the cancer MIGHT come back. I DON'T CARE!! My quality of life is zero and they want to drag it out. I'd rather have some quality to a shorter life than a longer existence feeling so miserable I can't even enjoy being alive. I really just want to die.

goatgirl69's provider

Christopher Pannucci

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Bedside manner was horrible. Negative and dramatic and only concerned with his reputation should anything go wrong. Wouod not acknowlege his mistakes. He says, "i see your concerns but this looks great".

Replies (1)

O
June 28, 2021
Hello there. I am sorry you feel so sad and depressed. I do agree with someone else that your breasts look good overall. But my opinion won't matter because you don't think so. I think your depression, whether it's due to the surgery or has always been there, is getting in the way of you figuring out a solution. Try to get help for the depression and then some day if you choose to, you will be ready to trust someone to perform corrective surgery. It's hard to feel optimistic when depressed, but it's so hard being depressed too. Try to take it one day at a time...one step tomorrow and then the next day another. The one step tomorrow may be researching therapists in your area or purchasing a self help book that suits you...or even making yourself a cup of tea and looking outside the window. It may take some time but you will get there. Thinking of you as you begin to feel better....
G
February 24, 2023
Thank you I am trying
UPDATED FROM goatgirl69
5 years post

Wish I was 6 feet under

G
goatgirl69
Its been 5 years since Dr. Panucci at Huntsman Cancer Institute botched my surgery. I literally begs for the hospital to accept culpability and repair the damage. I received a scathing letter telling me that they'd determined that the surgeon did a fine job, because they said so. I now suffer from hopelessness and depression, nothing fits me, and I'm left having to wear baggy tshirts. I hate my life. I wish I'd just left the cancer and maybe I'd be dead by now. Life no longer feels worth the struggle. I'm ugly. No one looks at me. I wish the nightmare could just be over.

Replies (3)

M
December 18, 2020
Just was reading about your situation and just want to say that I feel really bad for you and what you went through but I really do think you look good. Not great but good. I have not had the courage to get my reduced yet do to the fact that they could actually look worse after but I think yours look pretty good to me even though they arent perfect. I bet your are more comfortable in general and thats what I need. Please don't let this situation cause you to be so down on life. Life is a gift and we have to choose to be happy to appreciate it. I bet a man would love your body just the way it is as no one is perfect believe me.
G
December 19, 2020
I cry every time I try to wear form fitting tops and they fit so badly. Huntsman Cancer Institute was so horribly mean and nasty to me I feel so worthless and insignificant. I haven't been on a date since I escaped my abuser July 2, 2017. I don't go out. I haven't even spoken to a man and it's been years since anyone hugged me. I guess my feelings don't matter. This surgery destroyed my life. I'd give anything to go back and I wish I'd never met Dr. Christopher Pannucci.
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B
December 19, 2020
I am outraged that you were butchered. Please do not lose hope. This all can be fixed and bring back a happy life. First you must get a lawyer. It will be a difficult process but if can be done. You will be able to have free consultations by telephone and they will take your case without a fee until they win your case. Then search for doctors that specialize in fixing mistakes that other plastic surgeons made. There are docs who specialize in repairs and that is what you need for a satisfactory result. Your life is worth living even before you receive corrective surgery. Specialty bras can help until then. Best wishes.
UPDATED FROM goatgirl69
1 year post

14 months.

G
goatgirl69
I'm not comfortable with the way i look. I am embarrassed and self conscious. I only wear baggy tshirts anymore. I wish i had some recourse.

Replies (1)

K
June 29, 2016
Lots of insurance companies will pay to fix up incisions that don't heal well. Insurance companies also usually pay to fix extremely mix-matched breasts. I think you might be able to get some help if you found the right surgeon who would put it to them in the right way.

I'm so sorry that this guy was so flippant about the results. I would think taking out a simple small tumor and a reduction at the same time would be a great plan. If the results were unattractive, but they found the tumor was more complicated and it just had to be that way for your health, it would make sense. But that isn't what happened, he just did a lousy job.
G
July 2, 2016
Amen. Thank you.