The best thing I've ever done..!

I have lost a lot of weight this year through diet...

I have lost a lot of weight this year through diet and exercise - not sure how much but I've come down about 4 dress sizes. This left me VERY saggy, and much worse, with a bunch of loose skin, which was actually the reason I did this (I could have lived with the sagginess alone if they had remained full, but the loose skin made me queasy, I hated my breasts for the first time in my life).

That being said, I still have a lot of tissue, so didn't need an implant; I also surprised myself with the realisation that, unlike a lot of the ladies here, I actually really liked having big boobs (and they had come down from a 36HH to, a 34 / 32 body, and - I guess - a FF cup anyway) . So I decided against any reduction (more on this later) and besides, I expect to lose a bit more weight this year, perhaps another 5 or 10 kilos so there is a chance they will get even smaller.

More photos

Just realised the other photos didn't upload, so here they are...

More photos...

Everything seems to still be going marvellously, although, of course, I haven't seen the incisions yet, even though I have no doubt that Mr Pereira will have done an outstanding job in that respect also, I'm bracing myself for seeing them to be a jolt to the system.

In the meantime, I am still completely overwhelmed by this whole process and how wonderful it has been, how amazing I feel : I still can't believe these boobs are mine! (Not sure who else they might belong to, given that it's my chest they are protruding so majestically out of, but it is so utterly different from what I have been used to seeing for my entire adult life, it boggles my mind!)

The pain level continues to be pretty much minimal - I am just using ibuprofen now, in an attempt to give the reduction in swelling a helping hand. Obviously, I am so grateful to not be in any pain (the odd twinge aside), but I do have to keep reminding myself that it's only been 4 days, and I need to take it easy, or risk undoing all the amazing work Mr Pereira has done. Also, it's worth saying that the residual tiredness from a general anaesthetic shouldn't be underestimated - I was out for a few hours today, and by the time I got home, I felt like I had run a marathon, so the advice to try to do as little as possible for at least the first few days seems very sensible.

2 observations : although Mr Pereira was happy for me to shower from day 1, the right boob doesn't seem to like it very much, and both times I have had a full shower since the op, there has been a slight "leakage". I don't know whether it is the raised temperature leading to dilation of the blood vessels (check me out with my fancy "I'm practically a doctor" internet-learning!), or the particular range of movement while showering, but it seems to stop after a few minutes and both times, actual medical professionals (nurse in the hospital, and my very patient doctor sister at home) have confirmed it's nothing to worry about, and is primarily just serous fluid. Whatever that is, and assuming it is a thing, and not a word I have just made up). Still, I have decided to stick to showering every other day, while I am mostly at home and can get away with it.

The second thing is - the itching!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, the itching... It is, largely, down to dry skin (see above and lack of showering) and I am too nervous about, well, everything! to risk moisturising anywhere near the incision sites, just in case. But there is also that general all over, deep seated, elusive "catch me if you can, over here!, no, over here! no, over here! ha, ha ha ha ha ha, have I made you crazy yet!" style itching that suddenly appears out of nowhere, and drives you to absolute distraction and takes away all your inhibitions and decorum... I found myself in the middle of a busy store in Oxford Street this afternoon, furiously rubbing my breasts in determined circular motions, mentally snarling "yes, so I appear to be playing with my breasts in public - what are you going to do about it" at anyone who dared to look at me.

But, fortunately, the rubbing over the clothes seems to work! Other than that, I'm not sure that there is any quick fix (anti-histamines might help), so I think it's one of those things that we just have to ride out, and I'm just hoping that the itching will subside before I get arrested for outraging public morals...

So, the photos : they are from day 2 post op, I think, so still pretty swollen. The one in lingerie was my way of starting to get my head around the change that has taken place : I cannot resist a bargain, so bought it online because it was vastly reduced, thinking it had an integral bra. Turned out it didn't, and I was never going to be able to wear it, but for some reason, I refused to give it away and instead used it to torture myself for about 2 years! Anyway, I tried it on after the op, it looked good, I was amazed, and may even have welled up a little.

One last thing - Mr Pereira warned me that I might experience a "come down" about now (a few days after the procedure), and suddenly find myself feeling a bit blue. I've read other ladies mention a seemingly inexplicable sense of sadness / weepiness after their ops, so I'm grateful that he gave me advance warning : apparently, it is to do with the steroid levels in our bodies returning to normal levels, as well as an understandable dip after the "oh my gosh, look at my amazing boobies" euphoria following a successful op. So far, I'm still feeling super chirpy, but I did find myself looking at my nephew (3) and niece (1) today, and really struggling to hold back the tears at the thought of how completely perfect they were, and at the fact that they look, speak, breathe, blink more beautifully and wonderfully than any other child has ever done in the history of the world, ever! So, yes, maybe the dip is starting to kick in, just a little.. Anyway, something to look out for.

Original review was in the wrong place (I think!)

(Apologies for the essay, but I am feeling completely euphoric, so I figured I would revel in that feeling before it goes away - which, of course it will - and get it all out!) The Doctor The surgeon who performed my procedure was Mr John Pereira and he operates out of Montefiore Hospital in Hove and, I believe, East Grinstead. I am based in London, so was desperate to find a Central London surgeon, and ended up wasting lots of time, emotion (and money!) seeing a few other surgeons after I met Mr Pereira, even though I had a personal recommendation (I was also able to see his results 2 years on), and knew pretty much the minute I met him that he was the surgeon for me. He is amazing - his obvious surgical skill aside, he seems like a nice, kind person, and was incredibly likeable. This may sound a bit twee, but it made all the difference to me, precisely because each surgeon I saw was vastly experienced, board certified, member of all the right societies, etc. and without question COULD do the job, so the question I had to answer was who made me feel like they cared a bit, and actually WANTED to do the job because they wanted to make me happy (rather than take another opportunity to display their surgical ability). As for his ability - I am barely 12 hours out of the procedure, so obviously, my story is still very much developing : I haven't seen the incisions yet, I have no idea how I'm going to heal, and I am making no assumptions about the potential bumpiness of the road ahead. But, even now, even just 12 hours post, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that this man has skillz :) And they are obviously far more than just down to the fact that he is extremely experienced, and has performed a gazillion surgeries, he has a talent. But also, he takes care... Which, of course, every surgeon (we hope) does, but his manner reassures you that that he is going to take care, he doesn't forget that yes, he may have done this numerous times, but for the patient, this is NOT routine, it is almost certainly a one time thing, and the patient is nervous, and scared (or more accurately, absolutely bricking it!) He was also the only surgeon who really listened to me, and left me certain that he accepted that his job was to give me MY definition of a great result, rather than - subject, of course, to clinical / surgical realities or necessity - HIS definition. This was crucial to me because I had decided I didn't want a reduction, which threw the other surgeons I consulted into a tail spin - one even told me that I "must" have a reduction, and once I said I didn't want one, sort of shut down, and seemed in a hurry to get me out of the consultation, without even bothering to work out why I might feel that way (my fear of infection from the additional procedure, the higher risk of losing sensitivity, the fact that there is no question that a reduction is a significantly more involved and complex op than a lift or augmentation, the fact that I knew at that stage that I was still likely to lose more weight by the time the surgery came around - which I did, several more kilos in fact - and vitally that, excuse me for daring to say it, but I like having very big breasts, I like it, I like it, I like it!!!!) Of course, there is the likelihood that they will not hold up quite as long as they would if they were smaller (although it is a testament to Mr Pereira's skill and consideration that he designed the op around the fact that I was still going to have very big breasts). But that is a risk I am far more prepared to live with, and I was very grateful for Mr Pereira's willingness to acknowledge that I am an intelligent adult, capable of assessing risk, and making the right decision for myself, based on that assessment. His Team As far as I know this consists of the fantastic Beverley, (his wife and MVP), and his PA, Kim. Bev is absolutely lovely - open, personable, really funny, likeable, an absolute master at putting you at ease, and she actively contributed to the fact that my experience has been so positive, from the minute I stepped into the consultation, to the follow up after my op. I only spoke to Kim on the phone, but she was friendly, efficient, responsive and always seemed to know who I was, even if we hadn't spoken for weeks; I do have a very unusual name which probably helped, but still, it resonated with me, and I appreciated it. The Hospital (Montefiore Hove) The hospital is less than 5 minutes from Brighton Station, so not at all inconvenient for London actually - although obviously the train journeys will be an added expense. But there are hundreds of trains to Brighton each day, with a day return at around £17, and frankly, an additional total 100 quid - to get to the op and follow ups - on top of the roughly £6.3k I have spent so far (including consultations), is liveable with. I have never been in hospital as an adult, so perhaps my expectations were low based on stories I have heard - but I thought this place was excellent. As you would expect, it was super clean, and the non-surgical staff were really friendly, efficient and discreet, and a lot of effort has gone into making sure it doesn't feel overly clinical. The decor is nice, (although, presumably, there are some standard fixtures and fittings you do not mess around with in a hospital!) and the rooms are enormous! As for the surgical staff - they were all outstanding : from the nurses who admitted me, to the extremely thorough and very reassuring anaesthetist (Dr Tony - I'm afraid I don't remember his surname!), to the theatre nurse (calmed me right down), to the ward nurses, with a special mention to Julie (friendly, experienced, knowledgeable), and Charlotte (can't have been doing this more than a couple of years, but clearly knows her stuff and has a natural ease with patients). The Procedure Finally, I hear you say! Well, it's still really early, but so far, I am absolutely ecstatic, I love the way they look, I can't quite believe they are mine! And - TMI alert - while they gave me huge amounts of pleasure (I always figured that had to be the pay off for having to lug them around!) actually liking the way my breasts look is a new and wonderful experience for me (even before I began to actively hate them on account of the loose, empty skin). Again, early days, (and I don't want to tempt fate!) but I have had truly minimal pain so far. That may be because, at the end of the op, Dr Tony administers a local anaesthetic at the most likely pain points, so I assume that got me over the biggest pain hurdle immediately after the op. The ache in my chest feels like I've done 50 proper, deep, back completely flat, pushups in a row (something I do all the time, obviously!), i.e. present, but not at all problematic. There is no pain at all in the incisions around my areola and down to the T junction, but that may be yet to come! The incision in the crease stings a little, but again, so far, it has been minimal, the sort of sensation you might have if you were to cut yourself while chopping up vegetables - definitely there, but not going to bother you much. So far, my pain has been managed by paracetamol, and one ibuprofen to deal with the swelling (not sure what the doses are, I assume quite high), and that seems to be doing the job so I will continue with that as directed, and hopefully, avoid the stronger stuff, and the accompanying constipation! One thing which I didn't know - and maybe I should have - is how fricking sore the intubation leaves your throat - it sounds ridiculous, bearing in mind I've just been cut up, but that has been the worst pain I've experienced so far, it really bloody hurts! So, come armed with whatever home remedies and throat lozenges the doctor will let you use, you will be very glad you did! Also, I have to say that, having had a much smaller appetite for the best part of the whole of this year, I have suddenly been left properly ravenous, I cannot think about anything else! I very stupidly ordered the blandest food on the menu for my dinner, out of fear of causing / worsening post anaesthetic nausea (luckily, I didn't have any nausea at all), and ended up unable to eat it (poached cod, anyone?) and now all I can think about is food, glorious food. Tomorrow, I am going to eat an actual cow, and I may not even wait until it is cooked. Anyway, my point is, come prepared with your own food, if you can - certainly, if there was ever a next time, I would bring snacks, as the actually very competent chef (there isn't a cook on earth that can make poached white fish okay) had gone home by the time I realised the extent of my foolish error). Anyway, back to more important things - as you can see, my breasts are obviously very high and round, but that will drop soon (I hope!, I am not a fan of the implant look). They are still swollen as well, particularly at the sides, which will dissipate, so I anticipate that they will look very different even in the next few weeks, let alone the coming months, I will make sure I post photos. (I will also post a proper naked "before" photo once Mr Pereira sends them - and once I can bear to look at them.) As for my sensitivity worries - all I can say is yay me! Well, probably yay Mr Pereira, but indulge me... There has been not an iota of loss of sensitivity, in fact, they may be even more sensitive than they were before (which I would not have thought possible)! I am so grateful - it would have been the worst of ironies to end up with beautiful breasts for the first time in my life, but not be able to feel them. The rest of the boob area was numb immediately after the op, but that seems to already be resolving itself, inch by lovely newly high, round, pert inch. This site has been so useful to me in this decision, so I will be sure to post updates, and progress photos, I know those have helped me massively in the last several months. Till then, my review, in a nutshell :- John Pereira : amazing. Montefiore Hospital - amazing. My new boobs - abso-fecking-lutely amazing :)

10 days in...

I will post my "before" photo as soon as I get it - probably. Maybe. I don't know. I could hardly bear to look at it on the day of the surgery; Mr Pereira reckoned that I would definitely be glad of it once the procedure was done, but I'm not sure - even the before photo of me with my gown makes my skin crawl, seeing how long and flat they were : I'm not sure my psyche could handle seeing them actually naked!

Anyway - my update : I'm 10 days in, and am still blown away by my results so far. (Of course, I still haven't seen the incisions, so I am very much bracing myself for what, I expect, will be a shock. But till then, I am enjoying my honeymoon period!)

I have been incredibly lucky with the pain - I've had virtually none, apart from one very stubborn spot on the crease of the left breast, which just blew up one day, and hurt like a bastard for about 24 hours, and then just as suddenly stopped hurting. Also, the "side boob" area is, obviously, prone to irritation, as it is impossible for it not to come into contact with your underarms (unless you have freakishly over-developed biceps), so that was a little uncomfortable for a couple of days.

Otherwise, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say that my pain has consistently been at about a 2. Sleeping was initially tough, as I am naturally a front sleeper, but I have managed to deal with that by literally surrounding myself with pillows - I have one v-shaped, and 7 other pillows of varying firmness, and it definitely works!

As for the look, they are still ridiculously perky and firm, but they are softening every day, and I am so excited about how they will look once they soften fully, and drop into a more natural (and age appropriate!) position.

I am so glad I resisted the pressure from some of the other surgeons I saw to have even a small reduction, I know that I still have very large boobs by anyone's definition, and that this will almost certainly mean that they will drop more and faster than if they had been reduced, but even knowing that, I love them and wouldn't want them any other way! :)

I can't think of any thing I would want to have turned out differently, but it is only 10 days, so I probably shouldn't be counting my chickens quite yet! Having said that, they are nothing short of miraculous, given where I started from (as will become evident when I post the naked before photos!).

First Post Op appointment (and before photos)

It's been 3 weeks exactly since I had the operation, and today was my first post-op; I would normally have had one after 2 weeks, but as the appointment would be outside London, Mr Pereira agreed that, assuming that everything felt okay (and on the basis that my doctor sister could keep an eye on me), we could delay the appointment till today.

Everything did feel okay, or at least it didn't feel like there was anything to worry about. That being said, as if by magic, the tape on my right breast came off on its own very late on Saturday night, to reveal that the T-junction hadn't healed to the same extent as the rest of my incisions. I checked the left boob, and discovered the same issue - I had been warned that this might happen (and had seen enough reviews / doctors' answers on here to realise that this was almost to be expected, particularly given the size of my boobs and the ensuing pressure on that area). Also, there was no pain / odour / oozing, and I didn't have a fever, so as I was seeing Mr Pereira in 2 days anyway, I figured it was okay to keep it clean, dry, and wait until my appointment. I did call the hospital to make sure, and got in touch with the surgeon (and showed it to my sister to be on the safe side), and they told me to do what I was doing, again on the basis that I was 2 days away from an appointment anyway.

Fast forward to today - Mr Pereira had a look, it turned out that the culprit was the knots of the dissolvable sutures that hadn't got the memo, and were determined to hang around. So, he took them out, stuck some plaster on them, and told me to continue to keep them clean and dry, and they should heal.

Aside from that little hiccup, my new boobs are - in my opinion anyway - nothing short of remarkable, amazing, extraordinary, more than I could ever have dreamed of.

I did have a moment of what I can only call temporary insanity when he first took the tapes off the areola, and I noticed that the left is not quite as perfect as the ridiculously perfect right, and I focused on that, but that stupidity lasted about 5 seconds before I slapped myself around the face for being a fool, normal service was resumed, and I became utterly ecstatic again (and this was still before I had seen my "before" photos, and been reminded where I had started)...

Mr Pereira was very pleased with what he saw, he said I was "healing beautifully" (I have no idea why that made me feel like I was so clever, an actual genius who deserved a prize, as if it had anything to do with me, rather than being a combination of useful genes, helpful skin tone, the surgeon's skill and just plain old luck).

So far, the scarring seems nothing short of miraculous - the vertical scars are already not too noticeable, and the horizontal don't seem too bad either to my lovestruck eyes (is it weird that I am actually a bit in love with my own boobs???), even where they come all the way out under my armpit. The shape is, obviously, very much in flux : there is still a small amount of residual swelling in the actual breasts (more in the left where my sideboob used to be, but presumably, that will dissipate too), and they will continue to drop significantly over the coming months, so this shape is very much temporary.

Mr Pereira felt it was too soon to start scar massage, so I will check in with him again in a week or so, to get instructions re when to start (and if / when I should use silicone sheets or whatever).

Now on to the difficult bit - I am putting up my before photos as well as the photos from today; it is an incredibly difficult thing for me to do, but although I think the results stand up on their own, it really helped me when I was doing my research to have some context for the "after" photos, so I feel it is only right that I do.

I truly cannot believe that they looked like that - I am not exaggerating when I say that I had managed to avoid looking at them for the best part of last year (which is the time that the skin laxity, when added to the existing sag, became the straw that broke the camel's back), that is how much I hated them.

But, I don't think I had admitted to myself until today how much they distressed and - I am ashamed to say this - repelled me (and I owe my on again / off again boyfriend so much for continuing to apparently fancy me - and them - so much that I never had to dwell on how they looked and how I felt about them, he still totally loved them!)

Assuming everything continues the way it has so far (everything crossed that it does!), my next appointment is in 3 weeks when, I hope, I will be cleared to get back to proper training (I do lots of HIIT, I train with boxers, really high intensity stuff, and I miss it so much!).

I hope some people find this useful!

Incisions / Scars

I took some photos of my areolae, just because, well, just because starting at, and photographing my new breasts from all possible angles has, apparently, become my job! :)

I realise that I am probably slightly blinded by the euphoria of now having something resembling actual human breasts, rather than giant, swinging udders, but I am amazed at how clean and neat my new areolae look (Mr Pereira made them a bit bigger than he normally would, because of the size of my breasts, and also because I like them that way).

The tape only came off 2 days ago, so obviously, there are a couple of tiny points where they still need to flatten and smooth out. Also, they need a lot of moisturising (I am doing this, but I'm a little freaked out about touching them too much, I think I am still worried that I might pull the off if I touch them too often!) and they will certainly get "tidier" over time.

But I am amazed at what looks like a complete absence of scarring around them and the way that the seamless join to the rest of the breast - the technique he used to attach my new and improved areola is nothing short of miraculous to me, how he has managed to attach them without any "puckering" is baffling! It is all the more amazing to me when you see what he was working with (in my before pictures), the fact that my areolae were massive to start with (which they had always been, even before they terminal sagging), and that they were spreading and completely distended.

Anyway, I hadn't really given much thought to the different ways of reattaching the areolae prior to my operation, soh I thought that this might come in handy for someone when discussing options / techniques with a surgeon - I hope some people find it helpful!

First post op non-surgical bra...

I know I should wait, as they may settle further, but I couldn't resist (and it was reduced - I am a sucker for a bargain!) I got it in a G (down from a HH, or even a J in some brands like Panache that come up small)... It fits so beautifully, looks amazing, turns out I am a fricking goddess, boob-wise! :)

4 weeks in...

It's been almost exactly one calendar month (my op was on 20th December)...

I am still delighted, and amazed and grateful and sometimes even literally giddy with happiness at the way my boobs look now (I am still at a point where I wake up every morning, take a peek at what is now attached to my chest, and actually giggle because I cannot get my head around the fact that these beautiful mounds of flesh are actually mine).

But, but, but... I am already so totally over feeling like a fucking invalid, and constantly checking, and worrying, and checking again, and monitoring, and waiting, and checking yet again, and wondering if they should be doing that, feeling like that, am I doing it right, am I doing it wrong, is it okay for me to do this, or should I actually be doing that, am I moving too much, too little, blah blah fucking blah...

(I realise that I should be extremely grateful that my experience of being unwell or incapacitated in any way is so limited that I am finding this experience of being moderately and temporarily inconvenienced such a shock to the system, but meh. I am throwing my toys out of my pram, and having a little internal tantrum, and no one is going to stop me.)

Anyway, I did actually have a couple of actual medical moments (I don't know yet if they are setbacks or just a slightly dramatic manifestation of a routine event on the road to healing - god, I have come to HATE that word). I had developed 2 little fluid pockets on each breast, one on the outer edge of the crease of my right breast, and another, bigger one on the inside corner of my left breast.

The right one popped on Tuesday, fortunately while I was in the shower (although I didn't notice it till I had ruined a perfectly good towel) - it ended up producing enough gunk to cover 3 or 4 tissues, after which it slowed to a trickle, I washed the area with anti-bacterial soap, dried it with a hair dryer just to make sure (having to incorporate a hair dryer into my showering routine is one of the more ridiculous memories of this process that will stay with me!), and then covered it with gauze and steri-tape. By the end of Tuesday, it seemed to have stopped, so hopefully that is the end of my right boob drama.

The left boob "bubble" decided to resolve itself in far more dramatic fashion : just after midnight last night, I was getting ready to go to bed when I felt a wetness on my stomach, looked down to see that the corner fluid pocket had exploded and deposited its contents all over me!

Not to put too fine a point on it, it was gross - sort of pinky yellow - and there was a lot of it! I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, but not before I had managed to drip a decent amount of the goo on to my carpet (to be honest, I've been wanting a reason to get a new carpet, I think "is now stained with gunk from my left tit" is as good a reason as any!).

Cleaned it up, and put a dressing straight on to it, I will check shortly how it's coming along.

I spoke to my PS about it, and he seems to think it might be some sort of irritation caused by the stitches, and is probably nothing to worry about, but what is very strange (particularly given what I read about such things) is that, even though it is all terribly gross and dramatic looking, it has all been completely painless, not even a twinge (and of course, all the goo has been odourless, and I have no fever or anything like that, so it doesn't seem like an infection).

Now, I'm not looking for more pain, but it does make me wonder if it's something else - of course, the fact that my breasts are now so much tighter must mean that I will be able to feel or see things that would have previously have been camouflaged by the acres of droopy excess skin, so it may be nothing to do with the surgery, per se.

Anyway, I am seeing my PS tomorrow, so I can stop guessing and driving myself crazy with my internet doctoring and self-diagnosing!

All in all, this has been and continues to be an entirely positive experience for me - I am so glad I kept my "before" photos, because even if I wasn't genuinely constantly delighted with the way they look, even a fleeting glance at the photos immediately lifts me out of any temporary, self-indulgent funk.

That being said, I am so looking forward to the day when I can stop thinking about my breasts, they become just another body part, they are just my boobs, and I can stop thinking about them all the bloody time! (Yes, yes, I know it's only been 4 weeks, but like I said, this is my childish hissy fit, and I am not yet ready to let it go! :) )

4 weeks and 3 days post op

They are starting to take shape, and look more natural. The left areola is slightly less perfect, I suppose than the right, but it's still amazing, and they still blow my mind (in the best way). I look at my before photos, and I am so grateful.

5 weeks yesterday

It must be getting boring now, but I continue to be amazed, delighted, grateful blah blah blah... (I will leave anyone that's read my previous reviews to fill in the blanks! :) ) I think that the vast majority of the swelling has now dissipated, so I assume that this is the size I am, which is absolutely fantastic!

The one thing that I think I have to prepare myself for is that the scarring might get worse before it gets better again - I've seen that mentioned by a few doctors on this site, so I am bracing myself for that, particularly because my scars have been little short of miraculous so far.

My only niggles are:-

- a small solid internal mass, on the outside of the crease of my right breast - apparently, it might be scar tissue, not visible from the "outside", but I will ask the surgeon to check it out at my next post-op next Tuesday;

- stubborn T-junction on the left breast, which is determined to heal at its own leisurely pace : the left is/was my larger breast, so perhaps that little bit of extra weight might account for the extra healing time; and

- small solid mass at the end of the incision that goes under my arm on the left side, causing a bump which is actually noticeable. Again, I will ask the surgeon to check it out when I see him, to confirm that I can just leave it to resolve itself.

I will, hopefully, be cleared to go back to exercising properly after my next post op appointment, and I cannot wait! I am feeling particularly bloated and generally bleurgh at the moment as I just started my period, but even without that, it will have been 7 weeks since I last worked out, and I do not like it at all!

6 weeks today...

And all still totally fabulous... :)

I had my 6 week follow up appointment today, and it went as well as I had hoped. The right boob t-junction has healed, and the left boob t-junction is getting there, slowly but surely (I can't wait till I can be a plaster free zone again, even these magnificent boobs cannot carry off the band aid look for ever!)

I mentioned my two "niggles" to Mr Pereira - the hard spots under my left arm, and on the crease of the right breast. He determined that the underarm hardness was a collection of fluid, and drained it then and there, it didn't seem like very much to me (3.5 ccs), but it did the job! He said it might come back a bit, and if it did, I could either just leave it to be reabsorbed into my body, or have it drained again. As for the breast crease hardness, he said it was just part of the healing process, and it would soften over time (I have to keep reminding myself that it's only been a matter of weeks)!

Over all, he was delighted with my progress, said I was healing ahead of the curve (why does being told that make you feel like you've won a prize??? I had to resist the urge to high five myself, so overwhelmed was I at my own brilliance...)

The best news was, I can go back to working out! I want to lose another 5 or 6 kilos (which I should be able to do without affecting my boobs), and even if I didn't, working out hard contributes so much to my general sense of well being, I'm lost without it... That being said, even though I have felt up to it for at least a couple of weeks, I was very happy to wait to get the official go ahead from Mr Pereira, just to be on the safe side! Obviously, I will not go too crazy straight away, just listen to my body, and keep an eye on the incisions.

Interestingly, Mr Pereira doesn't think it looks like I need any specific scar therapy right now - my scars are pretty smooth at the moment, and seem quite happy to get on with the business of fading, we are just going to let nature do her thing for a while, and fingers crossed, all will be well. So, for now, I shall just keep them well moisturised with the Aquaphor Healing Ointment that I "liberated" from a friend who was visiting from the US (I just googled, and it looks like it's called "Eucerin Aquaphor" over here). It feels like glorified vaseline petroleum jelly to me, but what do I know! In any event, at the very least, it is doing a marvellous job at keeping my boobs smooth and flake free, so who am I to argue.

He also confirmed that I can stop wearing the restrictive sports bra all the time, which is a relief (although I wonder if it would be overkill to wear as many sports bras as it is possible to get on while I am actually working out - I will look like a sumo wrestler, but it will be worth it!) In any event, I am still planning to wear some from of support 24 hours a day though (I'm using the tubigrip style support at night). I never thought I would, but I seem to have got used to always having something on, and I think it would feel odd going completely bra free! He also said that I can and, so long as they don't cause any irritation, probably should get back to wearing underwire bras, as that will help to mould the boobs into the nice, natural shape that is the end goal (they are already dropping into that shape, but every little bit helps!) So, bring on the pretty, non-grandma appropriate, check me out!, style bras! :)

And that, as they say, is that! My luck continues to hold, all continues to go well, and I continue to be grateful and delighted...

Assuming everything carries on the way it has so far, my next appointment isn't for another 3 months (although, of course, they stressed that if there were any problems I was to call as usual, and see Mr Pereira if necessary)... Which, oddly, makes me a little sad! This whole process has been so overwhelmingly positive, Mr Pereira and Bev have been absolutely wonderful - kind, patient and understanding - they have become inextricably linked with what feels like such a major, pivotal event in my life.

(I did promise them that, in the absence of any medical issues, I would now leave them alone. But if they ever looked out of their consulting rooms, and saw my face pressed against their window, they should just wave, gently pull down the blinds, and go about their business - I would eventually go home. Probably).

Pictures from today are attached - bit by bit, the shape is changing the way it should (with the gradual rounding out), which is great. The left still feels a little harder than the right and has more swelling still to go (but it was always my bigger boob, and as I was absolutely adamant that I didn't want any reduction, I assume it will stay that way, even when the swelling is all gone).

I will try to post photos on a reasonably regular basis, I know how incredibly useful I found it to see the progress of these procedures over time, and if anyone has any questions, please ask! Otherwise, for now, over and out! :)

"Aerial" photos!

7 weeks yesterday, and (surprise surprise!) all is still amazing, I am still totally in love with my own breasts...

I had a truly wonderful moment over the weekend - I was staying at a friend's house in Portsmouth (a very old naval city, some parts date back to the 15th century). Her house is old, and as often is the case with old houses, is very tall; I was showering in a bathroom which had a small uncovered window, as it was on the equivalent of the 3rd or 4th floor of the house.

The wonderfulness lay in the fact that as I was naked for the few minutes before and after my shower, it suddenly hit me that, for the first time, possibly in my entire adult life, there was no fear... No fear of being seen through the tiny window even by some anonymous pervert looking through his telescope from across the bay who would then snap his telescope in disgust; no checking and rechecking, and checking again (you never know!) that the door was securely locked, in case someone came in and (god forbid!) actually saw my breasts; no removing my bra under the towel, because even I couldn't bear to look at them; no panicky "get out of the shower and grab the towel to cover the saggy droopiness as quickly as you can" manoeuvre. In every way possible, No Fear. It was the most fantastic and liberating feeling I can remember, and I am just so grateful to Mr Pereira (and, of course, to my superior genes which have ensured my speedy healing :) ) every day.

I am slowly but surely getting used to the fact that these boobs are mine, and they are not going to be whisked away by the evil Ghost of Boobies Past while I'm asleep, nothing (other than gravity and age, and maybe not even them!) is taking these babies away from me, hell no!

I started back training on Monday, I eased in with a not too crazy session, and then thought - sod it, after 7 weeks off, it's going to hurt whether I go easy or hard, so I may as well go for it! And I have. And I hurt. A lot. (My coach apparently has been nurturing a deep and abiding hatred for me, and is expressing this hatred through the medium of burpees and torture masquerading as exercise).

Anyway, although everything else on my body is screaming in agony, my boobs have been absolutely fine and have risen to the occasion magnificently! Both T-junctions had healed by about week 5, but I am a little paranoid about them, so I am covering them with a plaster during my sessions, just in case of any rubbing (there isn't any, as the band of the sports bra rests on my ribcage, but I figure, you can never be too careful!)

Which brings me to the vexatious issue of sports bras - I was using an Extra High Impact front closing bra from M&S which definitely keeps things in place, but does so by compression, which is less than ideal. I have also taken to wearing 2 very firm bra tops over the sports bra, which is probably overkill, but as above, I am a paranoid crazy lady with newly perky boobs, and for now, there is no such thing as "overkill". Frankly, if I could find a way to encase them in concrete or steel while I work out, I would.

Anyway, I am not loving the compression and uniboob effect of the M&S one, so I have just ordered something from Freya that calls itself a "Sonic Underwire" Sports bra. It has separate moulded cups, and can convert into a racer back, goes up to a G, and has had great reviews on the figleaves site. Also, unusually for sports bras (particularly for larger breasts), it comes in some really attractive and unusual colourways, so if it does the job, I will be over the moon! I have another session on Saturday, and assuming I don't actually die, I will report back on how it holds up.

In the meantime, if any ladies can recommend any super supportive sports bras that don't just squash the breast against the chest, I would be very grateful, even if they are from the US – I can always get them sent over…

In other news, my scars are looking good, doing what they are supposed to, I think - I'm still not doing any massage, and they are smooth but darkening (which is, I understand, the desired progression of scars, they are supposed to darken and "mature" before they start to fade). This suits me fine because I am fundamentally lazy, but I am wondering if the side incisions might benefit from some massage, as they are definitely more raised than those on my actual breasts.

Anyone got any thoughts on this? Are the silicone sheets worth getting, or shall I just try massage with a scar gel?

So - the photos : I had said I wouldn't post any more unless anything dramatically changed (much as I want to, heaven knows, I want to - everyone should be forced to look at my glorious breasts all the time!!!), a couple of people had asked about implants vs no implants and fullness / projection. So, I am posting some photos I took today, to give an idea of how things look from above which might help with making a decision (I am still crap at taking photos, but it should give an idea of how they look from above).

As ever, any questions, please just ask!

Recent photos - scar progress

Hello ladies!

It's been a little while, largely because there has been nothing much to report, and I figured that even someone with the highest boredom threshold would find it hard to wade through yet another post by me telling the world just how amazingly and fantastically fabulous things are.

(But what can I say - they are pretty damn fabulous, and amazing, and fantastic and, and, and... :) )

Someone did ask me to post photos of how my scars were coming along, so here they are (these were taken over the course of the last 9 days, so that would be between 8 and 9 weeks post op). They will obviously still drop some at the bottom to give that rounded shape (this will take months, apparently) but I think that the size has settled, with the swelling mostly gone (although there is still a tiny amount of residual swelling, but not enough to make any difference to my size, which is a good thing, given that I have gone a bit crazy with bra buying!)

I assume that the scars are progressing as they should (I have no other experiences to compare this to, so I have no idea what they should look like!). They are narrow, and feel smooth; the only "problem" areas are the t-junctions on both boobs, where the scars are smooth, but wider than anywhere else, but I expected this would happen because of the delayed healing there. Also, on the right breast, there was a random spot about half way down that has healed wider than the rest of the vertical incision, as can be seen… I am assured that it will all fade in time, but even if it doesn’t, the t-junction scars certainly aren't visible unless you look under my boobs, and, aside from my surgeon, I would hope that anyone who is getting that close to my breasts has enough other things to occupy his mind! ;)

The one thing I would say to anyone who is still earlier on is to be prepared for things to get worse before they get better - at about 6 weeks in, my scars seemed to get dark overnight (they had been practically invisible for the first few weeks), and I had a bit of a shock! Anyway, they are lightening again, but of course, the fading process will happen over the next 12 / 18 months, and I’m pretty sure that nothing can rush that process (at least, not to any significant degree), so I will just have to be patient.

Which is why I haven't used any specific scar treatment so far - I'm a bit worried about messing with a healing process that seems to be going better than I could have hoped at this stage... The only thing I did try to do was to go back to using the micropore tape, to alleviate any tension on the scars, but as I am working out a lot at the moment, the tape just gets in the way, as it ends up all smushed up and wrinkled after a workout session, so I have mostly given up, apart from on the scars on the side (and I am trying to remember to massage those scars in particular).

Which brings me neatly to the "niggles" - lest anyone think that I am so blinded by love that I do not see any imperfections : I totally do, but I also totally do not care! But, for what it's worth, here they are:-

left underarm incision - I still have a hard knot at the end of the incision to the side of my left boob; Mr Pereira removed some fluid from this spot at my last post-op visit, and he did say that he suspected that more fluid would collect there, and I could very easily ask my sister (a doctor) to aspirate it again for me. Once the fluid is finally gone, I think it will leave a small "dog ear", which - I assume - will be easy to fix so that it lies totally flat as it should;

t-junction scars – as above, wider than the other scars, as expected; and

my left areola - this is not as "perfect" as my right, which is a beautiful, flawless circle, but again, I am totally unbothered by this. My left boob was always the bigger boob (it still is, I was absolutely adamant that there was to be no reduction on either breast, just the lift), and it may well have always had a slightly misshapen areola. The fact is, as is clear from my before photos, my breasts were so long and droopy, and both areolae so massively distended (they were bigger than a CD prior to the op), and I had avoided looking at my breasts for a VERY long time, I couldn't tell you what shape my areolae originally were!

Anyway, those are the niggles, but they are - for me, anyway - just that : tiny, inconsequential, nit-picky niggles. Cos, just in case I hadn't said it enough times, I fricking love my new breasts!!!!!!!!!!! :)

And finally… Turns out there is an unforeseen downside to this procedure, which is that I have turned into a mad, crazy exhibitionist lady, who is desperate to impose her new breasts on unsuspecting people at the drop of a hat. Literally, I cannot stop showing them to people, I am a woman possessed!

Picture the scene : a dinner party, an opportunity to enjoy some lovely food and (in my defence) far too much wine, a chance to spend time with friends without having to rush, with the unexpected bonus that a good friend who lives in NY was over for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, the conversation turned to me, and how I was doing, how I felt, how my recovery was coming along, and some crazy fool asked how the scarring was progressing.

Of course, the sensible voice in my head said "sweetie, they are only being polite, they just want to make sure you're okay, they Are. Just. Being. Polite". The other, louder, shrill, slightly mental, boob-obsessed voice in my head yelled "sweetie, don’t listen to her, what does she know, they want to see them, they wouldn't be asking otherwise, they are some of your closest friends, they really do want to see, Show them, Show them, Show them, Show them now!"

So, dear reader, I showed them.

In the middle of a dinner party, I undid my (now nicely buttoning up) shirt, pulled up my bra, and showed 4 of my close friends, and one relative stranger my tits, flashed my newly hoiked up boobies at people who were just trying to enjoy their roast chicken and perfectly roast potatoes in peace...

The only saving graces were that a) the lighting was dim, and b) we had all drunk enough that I may be able to convince them that they were imagining things, it didn't actually happen, what, do they think I'm crazy, I wouldn't do anything so ridiculous and inappropriate, I mean, c'mon, what do you take me for!

Except, they all know that I would do something so ridiculous and inappropriate, with or without booze, and it almost certainly won't be the last time I get them out, I love them so much it seems almost wrong not to let the world see them, scars and all!

Yes, Mr Pereira has created a monster.

But, you know, I feel so gloriously, wondrously liberated from the sense of embarrassment and shame that I hadn’t ever let myself admit that I carried around with me because of the way my breasts used to look, I feel free, and lighter and lifted (literally and metaphorically!), I just can't help myself!

Honestly, no one is more surprised than me at the extreme reaction that I have experienced to having had this op (and, of course, I know that I have been so fortunate that everything has gone my way, from my decision to go with the amazing Mr Pereira, to my textbook healing (so far, fingers crossed it continues!)... Of course, I knew I would be happier with breasts that looked more like breasts and less like giant udders, but I didn't know just how much my old boobs had brought me down, how much they upset me, and how wonderful and transformative it would be not to feel ashamed any more.

Anyway, enough from me for now - if anyone has any questions, please let me know. Also, I'd be interested if anyone thinks I am missing a trick by not doing the silicone / scar fade thing...

I hope everyone who has had the op is doing wonderfully, and anyone who is thinking about doing it, I wish them the very best of luck, and I hope it turns out just the way they want it to.

One more photo

This is a silly bralette I bought for fun, just because it was massively reduced (I also bought a lovely blue one for the same reason - I really have to stop doing that!)

It is clearly too small, but it gives a better idea of my true size (the other photos make my boobs look especially huge, because of the angle and the fact that they are close up).

Unfortunately, I'm stuck with them as the site I bought it from does not do returns for underwear (but they really were dirt cheap - £6 - so I don't mind). In any event, they were only ever meant for, ahem, bedroom purposes, and I like the colour, but at very worst, I'll find someone to give them to.

As for my size : I am wearing a 36G, down from a 36HH / J this time last year, and a small amount, maybe half a cup size of that reduction in size is down to the operation. Actually, according to the fitters, I should be in a 34 GG, or even a 34 G, but that strikes me as a bit of vanity sizing. I do have to wear the 36 on the tightest hook, but turns out, after so many years of being driven by the need to give my breasts all the support possible, it feels really odd and insecure wearing my bra any other way! So, I'm sticking with the 36G.

Mr Pereira was recommended to me by a previous patient who was absolutely delighted with her results 2 years down the line, and everything she said turned out to be absolutely right (although I did still have 6 or 7 consultations just to be totally sure). He inspired complete confidence in his ability to deliver results, he himself was supremely confident without being arrogant (a skill that seems to elude so many surgeons!), human but unwaveringly professional, honest but sensitive. He also managed the seemingly impossible, by making the physical examination, if not painless, certainly less distressing than it had been in all my other consultations - he got the information he needed quickly and sensitively, and it was over almost before it had begun. He and his team (wife Beverley and PA Kim) are efficient and kind, and I would recommend him unreservedly.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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