2 Months PO

Ok, less than 3 months to go. I have scheduled my surgery for Nov. the 19th. I have been looking everywhere for reviews, videos and info about the procedure. I am on Jenny Craig to lose my extra 30 pounds and get ready - 6lbs down and 24 to go! My mother had this done about 13 years ago and says, of all her many operations, it was her most painful procedure by far. I recall her laying in bed, moaning and crying out in pain for days. She told me I need to prepare for the worst pain of my life and I'm terrified. I asked my doctor about pain management and he said he will either give a pain pump OR pain meds but not both. He is not the doc who did my mothers but the doctor was his predecessor. I am so anxious I have considered canceling the whole thing, though I have already paid the doc for my procedure.

I want so badly to get rid of my "apron" as the doc calls it. I call it my Kangaroo Momma Pouch bc I got it when I was prego.I could see it hanging down when I was at 9months. I remember, about a month after giving birth, walking by a mirror in my undies and seeing the horrific pile of flesh that not only protruded but hung well over my panty line. It is so grotesque. I have cried and begged my husband to help me pay for the procedure. I lovemy doc, who fixed my damaged breast implant and performed a mastopexy. I won't change docs but I will call n price an overnight hospital room since he says I have to come to his office the day after surgery and I don't think I can do it. I am trying to build my confidence and go through with this. I have a low pain tolerance and fear the worst but I'm willing to take the leap of faith required- I just choose not to take it blindly. Here's to having the guts to remove my gut and to counting down the days till my exciting transformation! I will update soon!

Ok, so exactly 2 months to go-Nov 19th, ready or not...I've made travel arrangements, found an electric recliner to rent from Rent-A-Center, and my mom is scheduled to take off work the whole week to take care of me- bless her! I'm down 17lbs from Jenny Craig (after a month and half) and hoping to lose another 15-20 before the date. My surgery center quoted me the price for a pain pump at $300, which made my day, and I feel comfortable, after reading so many reviews and seeing pics on here that I know this really is what I want to do. I'm starting to get excited about it and so thrilled to think what I will look like when it's all said and done. I wonder if I will drop a size or two? He is doing lipo to my waist and hips too so I am dreaming about wearing a size 8 ( and eating a giant piece of pizza from Pizza Hut lol- I love you Jenny but I can dream! Lol). I was a size 16 when I first saw him to discuss the surgery. He told me I didn't have to lose anything, only that I needed to be at a stable weight and happy with where I was, which was great to hear. But I want to make the most of this and not have a cute belly n a massive butt! So I'm in a 14 now....hopefully can get to a 12 by surgery day n he can take care of the rest...?? I know I've got 2 sizes of baby belly on me! So here's to another 20lbs down the drain and a new wardrobe for Xmas (crossing fingers)!!

One month to go- its feels surreal now and I'm pinching pennies to pay the surgery center. I was told it would take 5 hours so my fees are high but I'm doing this! I need to! I read a lot of reviews saying women don't tell other people about their tummy tucks and I thought, why not share something you're excited about!? But people do act strange about it. They change the subject, get really quiet and don't say anything or say something judgemental. I've only had 2 people who were actually happy for me. I just find that sad, that people are so narrow minded that they can't be happy for you when you are so excited. One lady from my old job told me "Well, you will just gain weight again and have to have another one later. Your poor husband has to pay for all your superficial junk." I paid for this myself! And so, I've been feeling down, slipped off my diet but I'm trying to get back on it. I went in and talked to my doctor about the implants I got in June and he didn't even know who I was or that I had already paid him $5,000 for my TT surgery. I'm second guessing myself about changing doctors- I need to get excited again! People always try to bring you down- I just have to rise above it! So, I'm getting the house straight, getting my 7 year old prepared to stay with dad while I'm gone (Oh Lord! Who will make sure she brushes her hair and dresses cute for school? I will need to lay her clothes out for the week I'm gone). She will be with me the week of Thanksgiving, then back home w dad while I spend another week in Houston w my mom. I will miss my baby! I've never been without her a whole week! But she will be fine and I need up do this. She told me "Mom, I don't care what you look like, I just don't want you to hurt." It was so sweet! I hope to fly into Houston. It's only a 3 hour drive but I don't want to drive 3 hours back home after when I'm sore. So, lets do this! I want to lose 5-10 more pounds and get all the supplies on my list. And NO ONE else is bringing me down- I really want this! It will be amazing! And my sister doesn't believe I'll be able to wear a 2 piece next summer! I haven't been in one since I was 16, and I had a little belly even then! So, I'm going to show her! I can't wait!!