32 Y/o Breast Fed 3 Kids Totaling 5-6 Years 145 Lbs 5 Ft 3 - Houston, TX

I'm just about to finish nursing school and I feel like now is the time to get the boobs I never grew myself. After breast feeding my last daughter, I noticed that my breasts had shrunk smaller than they had ever been despite the fact that the rest of my body kept swelling into middle age. While I intend to fight the bulge as such, I feel that the best time to augment is now since I get 1.5 months off before I begin working. I feel guilty about this venture. It is expensive, I will be doing it before I look worthy of it, and I am doing it around Christmas time. I don't know what kind of boobs I want, just better boobs and so I have a lot of work to do. I have less than a month before my surgery!

I'm so nervous about my surgery. I finally started compiling wish boob pictures and trying to imagine how that will work with my body. I think it is difficult to figure out the right balance between too small and too big. I was a C when I was breast feeding and I did not feel like I had big boobs or a very womanly figure. I think C sounds good, but in reality I might prefer to be a D especially since I am somewhat chubby. Nonetheless, I am a runner, so I need to be careful about sizing too big..... Ah the struggle.

On Monday I will be getting 460 cc silicone implants. I am so nervous. The thought of going under, being intubated, and being woozy and in pain afterwards is scary. I guess it is a good experience for a new nurse. I have had children, but I have never had surgery. Adding to my anxiety, I am unsure about how I will look/feel about having a more womanly body. I have gotten used to this body (despite the fact that I don't love the way it looks), so I am worried. I don't want to look like a munchkin with stuck on balloon boobs. My surgeon is one of the best in the country and I trust him. I think I am just nervous. I also don't know how to explain this to my girls. I aim to teach them that being a girl is not about being pretty or liked. I want them to grow up strong with their own vision of what they want to be. I don't want to undermine that effort, but I want my version of myself to have bigger boobs and a hot body. Forgive my ramblings please. I have attached a picture of my intended results.... Wish me luck!