Time to Stop the Madness and Regain My Life - Houston, TX

Very skilled surgeon and have absolutely no regrets regarding my choice of surgeon. He is very nice and always willing to answer questions when you are physically with him. With that said, you truly are only getting the services of a skilled surgeon with no added support group(s) behind that. If you need help beyond just the surgery itself this is not the Doctor for you. I didn't use insurance for the VSG because quite simply I didn't want to have to go through the required 6-mo crap with the insurance company to get the surgery. Fortunately I did have a hiatal hernia which is covered under insurance so a portion of the surgery suite costs were covered and I paid cash for the remainder.

I've attached pictures of me from last June 2017. My weight has fluctuated between 111-121 since that time. The surgery has changed my life and I do not regret my decision at all. It was the right time in my life to take a different path. However, now that I've reached a weight that I never thought possible (wear size 4-6) now, my true "demons" have been brought out of the shadows. I always used my weight as a all-encompassing excuse for my hatred of self and now that is gone so I'm left facing and trying to deal with it every minute of every day. Thanks to this and lots of research, I believe I've discovered what created these inner demons to start with and oh not a big surprise it was my parents and it started at a young age. I suffer from emotional abandonment by my parents, the very people who should have loved my unconditionally, which created the "demon" inner critic that has driven me to achieve much in my life but always at a price and driver behind all the self destructive behaviors I've engaged in for as long as I can remember....I'm both grateful for this knowledge but still grappling with how to heal the damage done... SO warning to those who have food addictions prior to the surgery -- yes the surgery is an effective tool assuming you use it correctly which for me has been to see how little I can eat in a day and still function (some days) but others has been a savior to stop a binge eating episode. For the most part I eat under a 1,000 calories per day (not counting the alcohol) and low carb but it is a constant struggle....remember: if you eat crap even in small portions the surgery is a waste of time because eventually you will gain a portion if not all the weight back. I have such an intense fear of gaining the weight back that I've successfully kept it in a 10 lb range for almost a year now. The weight loss has created a saggy old lady body that I hate and now have to have plastic surgery (that I NEVER thought I would do) to get me a body that I've only ever dreamed of. So keep that in mind...fortunately I have the money and I'm crazy enough to be wiling to endure the horrible recovery from it to achieve something I thought was impossible for me. Surgery is scheduled for August 14th and I'll talk about that more in a future post.

I'm excited and scared...worried that I'll slip back into my old habits and just eat whatever I want but just smaller amounts due to the size my new stomach will be :( My life in recent years has been I'm either really good about eating healthy foods (and usually only when on some diet regime) or really bad....no happy medium hence why my health is not so good and will get worse if I don't change things. Anyone else feel like this pre-surgery or even post?