Me-Time

I'm 55 and happily married for 33 years with 4 adult children who I breastfed. Boob-wise I've always hovered around the 34A/B mark - so pretty flat chested - but having gained weight during my pregnancies (5 stone) and having battled for the last 20 years to lose the weight and maintain that weight, my boobs have settled at a 34 A/B with no roundness or weight and my figure would best be described as "gamin" or "boyish" (think Keira Knightley). For the last 10 years my husband and I have been caring for his elderly parents and his Mum lived with us for the last year of her life. I'm being frank here when I say that I've lost sight of myself during this time. Juggling the needs of teenage/adult children plus elderly relatives doesn't leave much me-time - I'm not looking for sympathy - it is what it is. Mum-in-law died two months ago and now it's time to take care of myself. I've lost 14 lbs over the last 3 months and I'm starting to get my hair trimmed regularly and have my roots re-touched, eyebrows tinted, lashes dyed - that sort of thing. I'm doing exercises to firm my abs and I had my first consultation with Jeremy Hurren at Spire Hospital, Havant a few days ago. I've been a breast augmentation voyeur for about 10 years - I feel that there isn't a breast Before and After that I haven't clicked on. I'm an average, middle-aged Mum of 4 so why on earth would I do this? The simple answer is that I've become invisible. When you're in your 20's and 30's, people notice you. Guys whistle on building sites, on the Tube men give you a sideways glance. I've become one of those beige, invisible beings who wear comfortable clothes and carry shopping bags. My underwear has become beige and utility. Except that inside, I'm still 30 and a sentient, sensual human being with needs and feelings. Having bigger boobs won't address any of these issues but it will make me feel better about myself. I will feel fuller, sexier and more alive. I hope that my journey (how I hate that phrase) will be informative and perhaps inspire other readers to take control - because that's what I'm doing
During my first consultation with Mr Hurren at Spire Hospital, Havant I felt that I was on a runaway horse. The appointment was £150 for 40 minutes and during that time he had a check list which he clearly needed to get through. He covered everything from mammograms to complications and when my OH and I sat in the car park afterwards we both felt out of breath as if we had been on a roller coaster. Sizing was a whistle stop tour (we chose 380cc) and there were sooooo many questions I needed to ask but didn't get time (I do wonder whether the consultants assume that you've visited these sites and can Google the umpteen questions you have). Anyway to cut a long story short, my surgery is scheduled for the 15th of December 2017 and I have a pre-op appointment on the 29th November 2017 so I have enough time to do some serious research and make sure that I am happy with sizes/shape of implants etc. Mr Hurren has very sensibly suggested that, given my age, I have a mammogram first to make sure that everything is as it should be, so I'll keep you posted. I'll also post some before photos once I work out how to do it

Well I've had my mammogram today which I had to pay for because my free, NHS one isn't due until next year but it's a small price to pay for the knowledge that all is well. I could have delayed my surgery of course but having the surgery just before Christmas gives me the chance to rest completely for 3-4 weeks. I'm thankful to say that everything was normal (you see a doctor for your results within minutes - none of this two week nail-biting wait). So that's another step forward. I bought a 34E post surgery, front-fastening sports bra at the weekend and my OH and I had a go at making rice sizers which didn't go quite to plan. My OH was an engineer in a former life so he's not inept but despite the Utube tutorials saying that 380cc of rice equals 380 grammes in weight, we didn't find that to be so. 380cc in a measuring jug weighs 330 grammes in reality. So my 380cc rice sizers don't fill the cups. We'll have another go and let you know how we get on. We used paella rice because it's nicely rounded (plus I love paella) and I didn't want sharp bits of long grain rice sticking through the popsock into my boobs so perhaps that's the problem but as my OH says - surely rice is rice? We went to Victorias Secret at the weekend and had a look at 34E bras. Discovered that a 34E in Victorias Secret is called a 34DDD and that balcony bras don't come in that size so that's another thing worth thinking about. Went to John Lewis and they had every size up to HH so I think I'll be bra shopping there if everything goes to plan. I've uploaded some "before" photos so you can see my spaniels ears (as my lovely daughter calls them). I've become a bit pervy since I made the decision to go ahead - I've never looked at so many boobie photos in my life!! I'm definitely tending towards larger and larger boobs which I think many posters call Boob Greed so I need to give myself a slap and be realistic. Most of my wish boob photos are 400cc upwards which is do-able but with larger implants come greater risks of complications so I need to be sensible. I'm 5ft 2 and weigh 115lbs so I don't want to look like Dolly Parton. I told Mr Hurren this and he said her boobs are MAHOOSIVE - at least double the size I'm hoping for, so that made me feel reassured. I'll post some photos of my sports bra with the rice sizers once we get the amounts right [RS bleep]

So, this is what 380cc rice sizers look like girls in a Marks & Spencer 34E sports bra. I've been wearing them round the house so I get used to the weight and you know what, after a while you get used to the size and they start to feel small. I keep flashing my OH and even though he knows they're not really me and they're made of rice, his eyes still light up so heaven knows what he'll be like when the girls are here in the flesh. Wait 6-8 weeks?? That's never gonna happen